Please HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?

Question

This is the situation.. I have a boyfriend whom doesn't work but he goes to school. The problem is that he isn't doing good in school. I'm trying to help him out but he says that school is just not for him. He wants to be a cop, problem is that to be a cop you have to have at least 60 college credits and a GPA of 2.0 or higher. He only has 20 credits and his GPA is 1.4 This is why I want to help him out. Another thing is that I am the one who works and at the end pays for everything. I really want him to get a job and he says that he wants one too. So yesterday I was looking for an office job for him, and I started sending emails for interviews. When I told him about it, he was a bit upset because he "doesn't want a boring job." He wants to work in a clothig store. Ahhhhh this is getting me a bit frustrated because I'm thinking about the future and it seems like he isn't. Although it seems like he is because he talks about us and stuff, but his actions show otherwise. WHAT SHOULD I DO?

Answer 1

Leave him find someone who can be responsible .

Answer 2

You should ask him exactly what his plans are for the future - if he wants to be a cop he needs to knuckle down and get the grades he needs otherwise get out there and earn some money even if he is in school he could work part time. It sounds like he is expecting you to take care of him. It shouldn't matter if the job is boring all that matters is that he is helping you out whilst getting the grades he needs to become a cop

Answer 3

2 things:
1. People rarely become what they say they "want to be" when starting school - however at this rate he's not headed for success in any field via college courses as he is not appying himself across the board
2. Read your question back to yourself but replace "my boyfriend" with "my son," I think you'll have identified the major problem here."

The best relationships are matched pairs, equals who form a partnership and help each other explore dreams. You can not build the perfect man from scratch, this guy and you are at different maturity levels and as is typical you are ahead of him. Either lower your expectations for him short term (3 years or so) or think about looking for the real Mr. Right.

Answer 4

Sounds like he's a dreamer. You will NEVER be done with the job you are creating for yourself. He needs to grow up and you need to help him by NOT helping him. A GPA or 1.4 and the idea of his destiny to work in a clothing store makes it sound like he's not the brightest bulb in the package. He needs a little "spark" to get some more light into the idea end of the package. (if there is an end like that for him to find) You need to be bold and tell him to quit being a slacker or you'll leave him. I'm thinking you are not that old and you don't need an extra child of that age to deal with and nurse. Basically just tell him to grow up!

Answer 5

If he wants to be a cop, why doesn't he opt for getting a job as a Police service officer (Jailer/police dispatcher). They pay pretty well, I don't think you need college hours, and it opens the door to the job he really wants while providing him with hands on training. Maybe after doing that for a while, that training can compensate for college hours. I know that's how we do it here in Pasadena, Texas.
If he doesn't at least consider this, then stop babying him and doing everything for him. He apparently doesn't want to make an effort to move ahead in life. Don't let him bring you down with him. Find someone with better aspirations and someone who you can count on for a change.

Answer 6

why should he work when you pay the bills
and look for jobs for him
he just has a replacement for his "MOMMY" to take care of him
dump him he is using you for a doormat and is a master manipulator and you are his puppet
if he really wanted a life with you he would make an attempt to find a job
if you are supporting him financially and doing everything for him he is using you
he will never change
bet if you pull the roof off over his head he'd find another person to take care of him
do you really think he cares for you
are you so insecure that you feel you need to stay with him
there is a big wide world out ther filled with guys who are worthy of you
don't let this guy drag you down with him
take a good look at yourself
is this who you want to spend your life with
a leopard never changes his spots
take a good look at yourself
pull yourself together and get on with YOUR LIFE
do you really NEED someone else to tell you this

Answer 7

tell him this story..my son is 22 he really wants to be a cop he is very smart and has tried everything to be one. he started college to get his schooling and worked nights at a target store, two weeks in. he fines out that since he had a misdemenor he cant be a cop in the state of texas. his dream was blown. the year before this all happened he lost his girl friend to drugs and another man and also his child that he raised mostly by himself. he wanted that dream so bad that he went on with this pain and tried to join the navy only to take all the test scoring one of the highest scores and was told that he couldnt because of the misdenmentor. how sad. mine really wanted it, yours doesnt really want it or he would do it. sounds like your boy friend wants a free ride and tution and whatever esle. i would not do his work, or pay his way and bills or what ever.!!!

Answer 8

Looks like you got a loser on your hand there, girl. No joke. He doesn't want a boring job but he doesn't want to go to school? Life is all about doing stuff you don't want to do. He needs to grow up and get a job and pay some bills. End of story. If you want to spend the next 5 years taking care of him, by all means, go for it. If you want a life of your own with someone who is working towards a common goal, dump him. He's got loser written all over him.

If you really really really want to stay with him. Tell him to get off his a**, get a job or get his grades up. He has to do one of those things. If he doesn't do it, take that as a sign that he is in fact a loser and you need to dump him before you have 3 kids just like him to support.

Answer 9

Boring jobs pay you money, until you find a better job. Plus that would have looked good on his work record.
If he's over 21, and in good physical shape he could
move to a different area/state to become a Cop, and go
through the Police Academy.

Answer 10

Sounds like he wants a lot for doing nothing. He seems to be lazy. If you want to work get a job. It doesn't matter where it is because everyone has to start somewhere. Also, I don't think I would have appreciated someone finding interviews for either. I understand you are trying to help but in the long run he will wind up hating you.Let him find his own job but if he don't wintin a reasonable time period, it's time to walk. There are plenty of men who are going places and you will want to be with them when they get there. GL :)

Answer 11

Sounds to me like your man whats the checkered flag without actually being in the race.He is being a cry baby if you ask me.It shouldnt be your problem to keep him on the straight and narrow.He is a grown man and should be willing to work hard for what he wants if in fact that is what he wants.
A clothing store?? Ask yourself,Is this someone who is trying to be help to me and our future if the only motivation he has is to fail in school goals and work part time in a clothing store?? I think you need to make him realize that he is living with his girl who needs his help not his momma who can afford to wipe his butt all day!
You need to give it to him straight.Let him know your not going to spend your life with someone who only wants to take the easy route because there is no easy route to getting what you want and need unless he is willing to except failure as his future.