At what age is a child able to go to a public restroom alone?

Question

My daughter is 3, my husband wants to let her start going to public restroom alone at 4 or 5. We are in disagreement, even if he is going to be outside the door. Of course this is when I'm not there or another female we know. The issue is also she's very independent (she makes us wait for her outside of the stalls now) and I don't like the guys bathrooms (urinals). She's too curious and some people are sick.

Answer 1

The source listed below said 7. I think it also depends on the maturity level of your child. This article is a good one though, you should check it out. (you need adobe acrobat to read it)

Answer 2

Every case is different and we have eight now that have been through that stage. If it is a large public restroom in a public area, I'd not be comfortable allowing a 3 year old girl to go in alone. I took ours into the men's room when necessary and directly to a stall. I watch mine carefully even at 12-13 in large and crowed public places like the beach or at a ball game even though they go alone. It may be a couple of hundred feet but I watch the place just in case. In a department store, small restaurant or fast food place with me waiting right outside the door all of ours have gone in alone by the time they were 4 or just over. Our current 5 year old still wants to know that I am just outside the door, BTW. A couple of the others were comfortable much sooner. There are some crazies out there and I don't want my children to be victimized.

Answer 3

I think the answer to this depends a lot on the child and the circumstances.

I think safety has to be your top concern. If there is any doubt about your daughter's safety, i.e., if the bathroom in question is in an out-of-the-way place where someone might be hiding, if there is a possibility that homeless people with mental illness issues or drug problems might use the bathroom, if there is any reason to suspect that someone might pose a danger to your daughter, then she should under no circumstances be allowed to go in alone.

I understand your and your husband's issues about her going into the men's room with him. May I suggest that if he has to take her to the bathroom, that he wait (if possible) outside the women's room until he sees a woman with a kid or kids of her own going in, and ask her if she would mind taking his daughter in with her? I've done that for people before (I'm fifty and I guess I look like the motherly type) and I don't mind at all. Most moms are going to be okay with a request by a dad to take his daughter into the lady's room with them.

You have to take the safety issues seriously, though. A few years back a psychotic transient slit the throat of 12-year-old boy who went into a bathroom in a park while his mother waited outside. You really do need to do a danger assessment of public restrooms, and safety trumps all other considerations.

Answer 4

That sure is a tough one - good question. I'm a mother with 4 boys and much to their dismay, I would march their butts into the ladies room until they 5 or 6.
After they got a bit older, I would just wait and listen at the mens room door.
It really IS scary! There's alot of freaks out there and I don't think i'd want my little girl walking into the mens room and seeing a bunch of men lined up at urinals either.
If I were him, i'd feel much better seeing her go into the ladies room. Three, however is pretty young to go into a public restroom alone.
It's hard to say what age is the magic age for this one since each child is different.
Hopefully, there won't have to be too many times when you're not there to take her with you.

Answer 5

I don't think this is a good idea. My niece is 12 and if we're in a public place together, I still go to the restroom with her. If you're going to be with her, then why not go with her. 4 or 5, I think is definitely too young. There are a lot of SICK individuals out there, and if I had a daughter, regardless of what age she was, I would just feel more comfortable going with her. You never know who's waiting in the restroom. There are a lot of assults that takes place in public rest room, to women, so think how easy it would be for an assult to happen to a child, and if it did, would she tell you, especially if she's threatened not to tell. I say think about it and what makes you feel safe. If you're having doubts abuot letting her go alone, then don't, because there's doubt.

Answer 6

It's all relative to your location. If it's a one stall bathroom, then she can go by herself if you or your hubby are outside. I personally wouldn't let my child in a public restroom alone unless I could at least see her little feet under the door. Like you said "people are sick".
If available, some places now have family restrooms that are more private and either parent can go in.

Answer 7

If no one is in there -one stall or the other ones are free- then he can just as well wait in front of the door as in front of the stall. Any new arrivals will have to go past him, he can always check up on them. If there are other people in there, then he should probably take her inside. If necessary in the women's bathroom, people will understand if he's with the little girl, or should at least! This is a day and age when fathers do take care of their kids, instead of moms only.

Answer 8

How about when she starts college? Just kidding, but I agree with you, there are just too many sick people out there. Have you seen the new bathrooms in malls now? Besides the regular restrooms there is what is called the family restroom. I think this is for family with children under five years of age. Any way her Daddy could stand outside of one of these, while she goes inside. But for regular restrooms, I would always be cautious.

Answer 9

I think we took our daughter up until the age of 5 or 6. Then I would wait outside the door for another year, then she was pretty much own her own.

I'm always cognoscente, however, of how long they've been gone. If you tend to forget about your children when they are out of sight, then don't let them go by themselves. If you have an internal clock as to how long they have been gone and you check on them when that time is approaching, then 5 or 6 should be ok.

In my opinion you want to raise independent thinkers, letting them go to the bathroom on their own at an appropriate age is a step in that direction.

Answer 10

I let my son go in alone around 7 or 8. I still stand outside the bathroom and wait for him and watch who comes and goes. (He's 10 now). I will always wait for him.
I will never forget that news story more than 10 years ago about this little boy in a fast food establishment. His family was eating at a nearby table. He went to the restroom and never came back. His mother went to look for him and found him lying on the floor with his throat slashed - dead. You never know what kind of weirdos are out there just waiting for your little girl.

Answer 11

I only let my daughter be in a stall by herself at that age ,but I was right behind the stall. But to be out side the bathroom was a definate NO WAY! , not untill she was like 5. And in a only ladies bathroom of course.