I am wondering if I should just completely cut off all ties with this guy I have been "seeing" (as he calls it) but we are not boyfriend/girlfriend (as we discussed that, and we are free to see other people). While we have slept together, I told him that I did not want to sleep with someone I was not dating - which he said he was o.k. with that and still wanted to see me. Thing is, each time after that we have still slept together (yes, partly my fault as well!).
So here's my question - do I need to just completely severe all ties with him?? It's not like I see a future with him, but he is a nice, decent guy who would make a great friend (well, he is also really good at the physical contact too - hence why I have a hard time saying no to that part!). I am just so confused......! Maybe it is that I am scared I will never find anyone and am using this as "until something better comes along"?
2007-01-24 01:57:23 · 15 answers · asked by webgirl55379 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well, I totally planned on quitting all contact with him....so we talked, and he wants to try being boyfriend/girlfriend (exclusive)! :) He said he has been thinking about me a lot lately and was going to talk to me about being bf/gf this weekend, so we talked about what each of us want and are scared about....I really believe he is a great guy, and I am glad that we were able to talk things out and he seems really willing to try....I guess time will tell! Thanks for everyone's advice though!!
2007-01-26 03:52:16 · update #1
Yeah stop seeing him. No calls etc drop him like a hot potato! You are being used sexually. Sex is love making with someone not just a friend. Respect yourself and true love will come. You are keeping an obstacle in the way of that. HIM.....
2007-01-24 02:02:04 · answer #1 · answered by prettysexycalves 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you answered your own question........! Maybe it is that I am scared I will never find anyone and am using this as "until something better comes along"?
That is what you are doing.. You just have to ask yourself is that ok with you? Do you feel holding on to this guy will make you miss an opportunity with someone else?? These are questions you have to answer and only you can.. Personally I always felt if you keep a man like that around, you'll never really be available even if it is just a cozy friend/sex relationship. Meaning you'll never be detached enough from this person to start a new relationship. If you do let him go, you have to be really strong not to go back, that will just make things worse. Good luck to you on what ever decision you make and it's your decision and stay strong!!
2007-01-24 02:04:36 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men respond to body language that "I'm available." and give off weak signals that they are interested, It is up to you to catch those signals and respond with more encouraging invitations. The mating game has been going on for eons and is well documented in these nuances in the beginning.
Honey, something better won't catch your eye until you break it off with this guy who is giving you mixed signals. Come here; go away. How can you give full attention to scanning the field and putting out the right signals to other men that you are interested when you are physically and emotionally tied to this jerk who only wants your body after giving you what? A dinner? A night at the drive-in? If he's that good at sex, pay him! But expect nothing more of him or the future. And what about your self-respect?
2007-01-24 02:32:44 · answer #3 · answered by shari w 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be honest with you, I think you both should save your bodies. Not only from a Christain aspect. But when you eventually find that guy you really want to be with. Will he want a girl that settled for convient sexual encounters until she found the right one? A decent guy is going want to have a girl that hasn't slept around. I don't want to be hard on ya. But I think both of you are really being selfish and using each other for your own desires. Not only him, but you as well. By your own ommission. I would get out of that friendship, cause it seems that your having sex even though your just friends. If you meet the guy you really want, he isn't going to want you to have friends that you had sex with. I am just trying to see the view from the guy who wants to be with you in th future. Your better off severing the friendship before you find the right guy that asks you to do so. Goodluck.
2007-01-24 02:08:37 · answer #4 · answered by Shannon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are happy to carry on the way you are then that is fine, not everybody wants to have a relationship and alot of people think you shouldn't have sex unless you are "in love" but times have moved on. There is nothing wrong in having a physical relationship with this guy - neither of you are hurting anyone. I spent 5 years on my own bringing up my youngest daughter but I had a sexual relationship with a guy that I used to go out with many years before - I wanted to devote my time bringing up my daughter and didn't want a relationship but as a woman I wanted male company and sex so it suited us both and we slept together for 5 years until my daughter was older and I started dating again
2007-01-24 02:06:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with a friend with benefits but remember a few things:
1. You could get pregnant. Regardless of how careful you are. I know, I'm pregnant with my first and I was on birth control.
2. He's definitely doing it with other girls. Are you okay with that? Disease wise? Ick!
3. It's hard to find someone when you shacking up with a guy. Good luck explaining that to your new guy.
4. I've been in your position. It's fun for awhile, but when you finally realize he sees other women and you are just a f@ck buddy you tend to feel cheap.
Best to break it off and search for something with substance. I broke up with my guy friend when I was joking one day and told him he seemed like the kind of guy to have lots of girlfriends he was "buddies" with. He just laughed, didn't deny it. I wasn't angry but it was a big wake up call about how he really saw me. Not my proudest moment.
2007-01-24 02:08:12 · answer #6 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're looking for someone steady, I don't think this is the guy for you. If you just want someone to sleep with, nothing wrong with that but if I were you I would get out there, meet other people and save yourself for someone who wants to be with you and is good in bed, settle for the full package only, you deserve it
2007-01-24 02:03:07 · answer #7 · answered by glim 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Although you say he's decent it sounds like he's the eternal "bad boy" that I'm sure everyone has dated and couldn't get enough of. Break it off before you fall for him. You know it's not going anywhere and most girls even if they say I'm not going to fall hard for a guy we do. Save yourself the pain.
2007-01-24 02:21:48 · answer #8 · answered by nm 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having sexual relations with someone that you aren't married to brings out lots of problems.. You don't want it to be a one night stand, but you don't want them to think that you are easy either!?
Its hard especially because you are seeing other people. When you make a leap like this to have that sort of intimate relations, its a pretty big commitment! Its very emotional.
I know this is probably not what you want to hear, but I would suggest that you just not have sex with anyone that you are married to. Plus, you have no idea what kind of yucky stuff other people he is sleeping with my have.. Remember, he's free to be with other people. If he's sleeping with you.. he's probably sleeping with other people too!
You've basically told him that he can have sex with you with no attatchments.. Think about it.. and make the decision for yourself.. :) Only you can decide what to do!
Good Luck
2007-01-24 02:04:21 · answer #9 · answered by stephanieann31882 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
By your situation, the guy's part in your life is a mere sex machine..you haven't agreed yet on the real score so what, you two are just playin'? come on, look for someone serious..and when you do, avoid this guy because you might just be tempted to bed him again.
2007-01-24 02:02:41 · answer #10 · answered by frisky_pink_bunny22 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋