If you really really like someone but you are trying to establish a committed relationship and not just a sexual fling from time to time. I really like this guy and I know he likes me but I'm not sure if he is just as interested in making me his girl as I am in making him my guy. We laugh, we talk, and spend quality time together from time to time, but he does talk about sex a lot. Now, I love sex just like the next person but I feel that if you really like someone and you want to establish a solid relationship then you should wait. The question is, How long should I before I have sex with him? And how long is too long to make him wait?
2007-01-24 01:55:09 · 59 answers · asked by Sexcchick 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You should wait until you're married, and this is coming from a man. It's the only way you'll ever find a man worth marrying and have a truly happy marriage, meaningufl and deep marriage. R
Really, HE should be the one setting this standard (fat chance today, of course).
2007-01-24 01:56:46 · answer #1 · answered by Joseph C 5 · 6⤊ 4⤋
Wait until your head and deep in your heart come together and KNOW that this is the RIGHT thing for you to do. If you wait until both your head and heart agree, you won't devaluate yourself in any way, even if it turns out differently from what you expected.
You choose the time with full responsibility, knowing all the possible consequences to you. You choose the time when your intentions and feelings are completely right and honorable. Nobody sweet talks you into it or influences you in any way. You tell yourself in a mature, adult manner that you are READY to experience this and all the possible consequences it could bring.
I truly believe that a 14 year old does not have the ability to do this, but definitely has the equipment to proceed. I'm not even sure a 16 year old is ready for all the consequences sex can bring!
2007-01-24 02:15:25 · answer #2 · answered by shari w 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you don't have to wait for him long to bring up the subject! When he does, tell him EXACTLY what you just wrote in your question. That was beautifully said. Tell him that you love it, but you think it's for a stage in a relationship where it enhances the couple, and that it's not something you've thrown at whoever comes along. ANY guy, I don't care if they admit it or not, will be impressed with this. the only guy that will not be impressed is the guy that was going to get some and then bolt. In which case you've still said the right thing. Guys know that two kinds of girls wait to have it: one set are girls who don't like it and the other are amazing girls who've not been had by a buch of other guys. When you assure him that you're as into it as he is but don't just have it to have it, he'll automatically think of you as more than a fling type of girl. A girl with standards is every decent guy's dream come true. Those are the girls that the guys think about when they think of their future.
Good for you. Keep your standards. Those standards aren't going to get you as much action as the easy girls, but you'll end up with a lot less heartache and a lot more quality guys who're not just wasting your time.
2007-01-24 02:05:10 · answer #3 · answered by TJTB 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Personally, I think you should wait to have sex with him when you get married to him. There is no length of time that is "too long" to wait. If he leaves the relationship because you won't have sex with him then he is not the right man for you. There are too many men and women who are parents before they are married because they "really really like" someone. There are too many people in this world struggling with sexually transmitted diseases because they didn't use their brains before having sex. When you can say that you love a person so much that you want to grow old with them and don't want to have sex with anyone else but them, then sex can become part of the marital relationship. This is just my old fashioned advice. I have been married to the same man for nearly 30 years. Both of us lost our virginity on our wedding night and have never had sex with another. It is a choice neither of us has ever regretted.
2007-01-24 02:13:44 · answer #4 · answered by sevenofus 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I know that a lot of the others are right about waiting, but we are men. Men are physical creatures and sex is important. I am not saying that you should have sex with him, but he is feeling real tension due to sexual frustration. You are dangling a steak in front of a hungry dog and asking how long you should wait before letting the dog eat. You either do it, or you tell him that you won't until you are engaged or married. Sex is not a prize given to the man who wins the good dating award. It is something that two people who love each other do. Answer his question honestly about sex and see whether or not he is willing to wait.
2007-01-24 02:12:05 · answer #5 · answered by A dad & a teacher 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a pretty serious question. Listen to your heart, not your body. You do not state how old you two are, It sounds like you are still in High School. Just to let you know that "Sex is not Love".
High School boys are Hounds, and they will always be hounds. How long have you been dating? Has he given a time limit? It is always better to wait for marriage, especially because of ST D's.
We live in a real world, when it is time to give that gift to someone you will know. If and when that time comes, please use protection. Good Luck and if you have a older girl friend,sister,cousin you can talk to, please do . Maybe they can give you some advise also.
2007-01-24 02:07:06 · answer #6 · answered by Tanker 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Until you're married...
Until you're 18 years old...
Until you've been with him exclusively for a year...
Until you're engaged...
You need to choose what's best for you. Let me caution you against thinking you have to sleep with any or all of these guys, no matter how much you enjoy sex. You'll wind up, someday, finding the guy you want to spend the rest of your life with and you'll have nothing left private and special about yourself to give him because you will have given it out so many times it's not exclusive to him.
Think about it like this: You have a lollypop you are saving for that one special person. But you have been so anxious to share it with someone... so anxious to make someone happy with the sweet taste of the lolly... that you've let some fairly special folks along the way have a lick.
Now you find the special person you were saving the lolly for... and all you have to offer him is a lolly that's been licked by 12 other people along the way.
How special is it now? Doesn't he deserve better? More?
Just think about it...
2007-01-24 02:02:33 · answer #7 · answered by thegirlwholovedbrains 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
only you can answer this question. it's kinda like when ur learning to ride a bike. The person you trust that's holding the back of the seat (or whatev) and you can pedal and ride, but that person will only let go when you're ready for them to, and NOT before. So when you think that the time is right, then that's when. There's no specific time frame. It's about what you know about the two of you, and what you trust. Remember.. when you're ready, and not before.
Hope I've helped without sounding too much like a mother lol!
2007-01-24 02:00:36 · answer #8 · answered by .:*giggles*:. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes you are perfectly right you should wait for sometime..... at least you should wait for 6 months i have been into a relationship with a girl from past 3 years but we had sex after 6 months on my birthday. you can keep it as a surprise too for him on any occasion you can go for it then at that time he would be very happy...... but if you don't want to have it right now tell him about it.. you must wait for at least for six to 8 months.. so that both of you Will know each other better... but if you think that six months is also too early in your relationship then you should not go for it and if he also loves you seriously then he will understand you.......... but never commit him on this because if by any chance you are not ready for it then it will hurt him a lot....
Bye take care
for any other problem do tell me about it.......
2007-01-24 02:06:56 · answer #9 · answered by vaibhavahlawat1913 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Given your feelings on the subject, I would not have sex with him at all, no matter how much you enjoy it until you are sure he is not just asking for sex because he wants sex. It sounds to me that he may enjoy your company but that he might not want the same things out of a relationship that you do, and if you let him have sex, he will only be more than happy to oblige. If you want a relationship in return, you will be disappointed. Make sure his feelings for you are genuine first, is my advice.
2007-01-24 02:02:09 · answer #10 · answered by Chimichanga to go please!! 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Best choice is to wait until you are married and you are both ready to have children. From your letter it sounds to me like this guy has a sexual conquest in mind so wait it out and if he isn't interested in you he will take a hike and find someone else to try and have sex with. Better to find out his intentions now to keep from having big problems later. If indeed he waits it out until you are ready then he is probably worth considering. Hope this helps.
2007-01-24 02:03:18 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋