Single mothers..anyone else appalled at what this lady wrote?

Question

"The research is very very clear - a study was just done in sweden of the whole population. Kids raised by single moms - and you don't need a study, just look around - are much more likely to have mental problems, school and job problems, drug problems. etc. It's just wrong for a child to be raised this way on purpose. it's cruel and heartless and only very selfish mothers would do it.

Day care alone is very very bad for a child - how will she not abandon the child each and every day to day care? Children are damaged by observing their parents date - will your sister be able to not date for 18 years?"-cassandra

Wow, I am a single mother...my daughter is a straight A student, polite, well mannered, smart, mature.....
Do only single parents put their kids in daycare?
what is up with this way of thinking?????????????

hey oldschool...I didn't PHASE out the need for her father...her father walked away after being with him for 5 YEARS, don't be so judegemenatl, I know alot more kids raised by two parents whose kids are more screwed up than mine will ever be

hey oldschool...I didn't PHASE out the need for her father...her father walked away after being with him for 5 YEARS, don't be so judegemenatl, I know alot more kids raised by two parents whose kids are more screwed up than mine will ever be

Thomas, you are showing articled FROM Sweden from 2003 and 2001!!
just saying...........................

Answer 1

I'd like to know which "research" she is referring to. My daughter raised her daughter all by herself and my grandaughter is a "well adjusted straight A student and a cheerleader to boot!" She is going to college on scholarships. Bah! I think those people who say that about single moms are jealous because they are still picking up socks for their husbands!

Answer 2

I was a single mother for quite some time. My son's father abused me and I had enough. Some people actually thought I should stay in that relationship even though I was beaten until I almost died. The doctors walked out of the ER saying it's amazing I lived through that last day of our relationship. And yet some would think it's better for the child?! It's outrageous. A lot of people don't become pregnant in the hopes that they will become single mothers.

I still consider myself a single mom although I guess I'm not really. I live with my boyfriend, but I do it all for my boy. I was his clothes, cook his meals, go to school functions ect.

He's in the GATE class and in Honor choir. Hasn't gotten in trouble at school. He's a happy boy and is a joy to be around. I wouldn't trade him for the world.

Don't let what others think influence you. Some people just have very different ideas than others.

Answer 3

Wow, that's harsh - kids are more susectible to doing that stuff even with both parent's.
My mum was a single mother and i turned out great. I went to nursing and law school, never got in trouble with the law, never did drugs, i did great things with my life and now i live in texas, happily married, we have 2 beautiful little girls and i'm 21 weeks pregnant. So i think their study is just downright disgusting.
See, it's so so so easy for people to throw around critisim, but yet they can't take critism themselves.
As far as daycare goes, some parent's don't have a choice.
I stay at home but i still send my 10m/o and 2y/o to the church daycare twice a week, for social interraction and aslo to give me a break. All mothers know we need a break from time to time whether you're a single mother or not!
I'm not abadoning my girls, nor do they feel abandoned. They absaloutly love going to see their friends, they are there from 9 till 2 and have a whale of a time. Keeping them home and restricting them from social activities isn't good....and no, single parent's aren't the only people who put their kids in daycare.
My in-laws have been married for 14 years, my SIL could have retired from her job and she didn't want too, both their kids were in daycare and have come out great. They're now in school and thriving!

Answer 4

unfortunately this way of thinking is very prevalent. I would rather be raised by one sane parent than 2 nut jobs!! I once heard a a sermon at a born again christian church that single mothers are the evil of society!!

As a single mom, who works, who's son was in daycare, here's the real deal.

Money is very tight. I work 2 jobs. My son is over responsible for his age. He does his homework on his own, and when he needs to he can feed himself and do his own laundry.

Our house isn't immaculate. He doesn't get straigt A's. and he's been through 2 failed relationships with me. He knows more about life at his age than most people my age.

Yes - sometimes I am overcome by what this woman says and feel that I have been extremely selfish and I had no business trying to raise my son. Then I see some of the kids of 2 parent families. These kids have no discipline in their lives and have absolutlely no respect for authority...

Honestly it doesn't matter how many parents are in a family. It is the effectiveness of the parent and wether the parent is able to instill good family values and morals in their children.

Answer 5

Yeah who ever wrote that is rude and conceited. That is SO NOT true! I child is what you make them. Single or not. Sounds like this mom is very conceited! Must be nice to never have to work, live off your husband and sit around the house all day teaching your kid right from wrong. I wouldn't know. I work for a living and all though I am not a single parent, I know a lot of children who are and they turned out just fine. Its better to be a single mom than live with a man that is not going to treat you and your children right. Very appalling statement!

Answer 6

I think this woman, and the man talking about the studies in Sweden are way off. I was not only raised in a single parent home, but I also work in a day care. My sister and I both turned out fine. We both graduated high school at 17, I'm getting ready to leave for basic training and my sister is a paralegal, no mental problems or criminal charges for either of us. I see children brought to my day care that are in single parent homes and the ones that have both parents. I see nothing wrong with the children staying with us while their parents work to support them. Day cares are also learning facilities. They teach the children not only the ability to get along with other children to get them ready for school but also shapes, colors, how to write, etc. This month the kids at our day care are learning about other countries. The children are learning and also playing while their parents work instead of sitting in front of the television watching cartoons in one room while mommy watches soap operas in the other. I'm sure the majority of these parents would love to stay home and be with their children but then they would more than likely need public assistance b/c they weren't making enough money and the same people that were complaining that day cares are so bad would be complaining that their tax dollars went to these "lazy" people that didn't work.

Answer 7

It sounds like an uncontrolled study. It probably was her opinion more than anything and she did a short biased way of studying it. This way she could belittle without being the one responsible for the article. I am sorry that many people are so judgmental on issues that they don't understand. There are no studies that show daycare being "bad" for kids. I think for certain kids it is almost necessary. There is structure, learning and interacting with other children. I am not a single mom. I also am a stay at home mom. But, I agree with you. This was a ridiculous outcome of a study. Did they study the kids not raised in that environment? I think if they did they would be surprised to see a similar outcome. As for these women being "selfish" that wasn't part of a study - her opinion! So yes, very appalling and frankly very ignorant!

Answer 8

I'm not a single mother (or even a mother) and I'm appalled at this! There is no real evidence to show that a single parent vs. a two-parent household makes a good kid or a bad kid. I know GREAT single parents who have healthy, well-adjusted kids, and crappy two-parent households where the kids are demons. It's all how they're raised, and has nothing to do with one parent versus two.

I think daycare isn't a bad idea for kids - not only can it strengthen their immune systems (ever notice the first year of daycare, your kid picks up every cold out there, but by kindergarten they're healthy as a horse? Those kids who miss out on daycare or preschool end up sick every other week in kindergarten) but the socialization is a GREAT thing. They learn how to interact with kids their own age.

Not only single parents put their kids in daycare - plenty of parents both work.

Answer 9

I am a single parent not by choice, my husband died 10yrs ago unexpectedly. Since then I have raised a daughter who is now 24 to be a well adjusted young adult with goals and a positive future. I have a 14yr old boy who has presented no serious behavior problems and is a very compassionate soul. I have also adopted two toddlers who are now 7 & 8 and are thriving beautifully. Did I mention I also work full time? My kids are well taken care of emotionally and physically! As a single parent of 4 children who I feel will make some difference in this world I find many of the statement this woman wrote to be quite offensive. It is not whether you have a 1 or 2 parent family that makes a difference, but rather the quality time you spend with your children, as well as the morals and values you instill in them.

Answer 10

Okay, hun. This article is BULLSHIT. Kudos to you for being a strong, supportive mother!!!!!!!!

I have always felt that a very unhappy couple should NOT stay together just for the children. I would rather my children know loving parents separately rather than two loveless people who are expected to lead by example....kids learn emotion from their parents, it is not fair for kids to live unhappily.

Oh, and anyone who wants to ***** about that statement, I will tell you this.

My parent's divorce was final on my second birthday, and I spent my last 9 years before HS graduation living with my dad. I will tell you the only thing mentally wrong with me is that I am a woman and women have to put up with judgement and hypocracy from other retards like the broad who wrote this article.

I made great grades and did well in school. I work hard and make my own living--very, very comfortably--and I am NINETEEN years old. You know why I do this? Because of my parents. Separately, they tought me how to be strong and INDEPENDENT like they were, and how to be proud of myself and all that I do.

That ***** probably hasn't ever been laid, and if she has (God forbid) her man is probably too scared of her big muscles and mustache to leave her!

YOU GO GIRL.....

Answer 11

confident and then some; "i think it is by using some that are to lazy to ascertain the spell ck, or they, they in no way took benefit of the little training they have this is that in the event that they went to college. Being proactive is the least challenge of their strategies because of the fact to 3, it is highway talk. EG: deh, 6ish, cool dud, severe 5 ma-guy. some use capital letters for no motives yet, just to yell. The handed, the destiny, the present in no way existed for many that's a shame and probably, in basic terms perhaps, the positioning ought to have an computerized spell examine and then, the positioning might blow up on the language and composition this is written on right here. L O L