Where you really scared and nervous when you started talking to your spouse about...?

Question

My husband and I are trying to decide if we should start trying to get pregnant. He is ready but I feel soooo scared and nervous. How did you feel? Am I reacting normally? I really want to have chidren and when I tell my husband I'm to scared to try I wish I hadn't later. Any advice?

Answer 1

I know exactly what you're saying!! A couple of weeks ago I asked the same type of question on here!

My husband and I are about to start trying and I AM SCARED. I worry about being a good mom and how pregnancy will go for me and all the life changes that come with starting a family. Everyone here was really encouraging and I found that we're not alone in having these feelings about being nervous and scared.

I have felt the same, I have found that many other women have had these feelings before, and I think that you are reacting normally.

I think you do want to start a family, but the unknown is scaring you. One answer I got to my question said that this means that you're taking this seriously. I agree!

Go with your gut feelings about having a baby. You said that you regret telling your husband you're too scared...and i think that's an indication that you are ready to start your family. Let your fears play themselves out like I am. I'm sure both of us will never regret it!!

Good luck!

Answer 2

its always the first time for everything, i just think treat it like anything else when it is the first time. I bet you were worried when you had your first job too, or when you were going on on your first date or first kiss.

Dont be nervous, its a part of life, the good thing is that you want to have children and your husband as well. So appreciate that, because not everyone feels the same way.

If you are nervous about the pain and all, it will come but it will go before you even know it, then you notice all the pain and pressure was worth it , because now you have your own beautiful child with the man you love. And you will feel love more than ever before.

I just think its a phase , and i hope this phase doesnt stop you or delay you from going forward with your idea. Because you know there is a certain age for us that we can have kids, the older you get the harder it is. If you really want it just go with it.

One day if you have a daughter or a son you will tell them that there is no reason to worry as well :)

Answer 3

First off... big hugs to you!! And let me just tell you that you are not wrong, crazy, or anything else you might be thinking. Accidents happen and God is in control, not the two of you. Me and hubby did everything dead on and right last month and still no baby. I was where you are now about a year ago, however, I wanted a baby and hubby didn't yet. I seriously started to doubt he ever did, but he swore he did. Two months ago, during making love, he suddenly decided that it was time. I was totally cool with it! LOL! We're still TTC (trying to conceive), but we're both into it now. The problem with you and your DH is that it was sprung on him. Total shock, with no room to negotiate. Now I understand where you're coming from, but men are totally logic. Imagine if he called you at work and said out of the blue something like, "I sold your car and you're going to have to start taking the bus." Without even consulting you first. This is how he sees it. Especially if you missed a few pills. But it's NOT your fault. You did the right thing by doubling up. The best thing to do now is give him time and space. Let him come to you about it. If he goes more than a few days without talking about it, sit him down at a good time where he won't be distracted and tell him that you two need to talk about it and work it out, but you don't want to argue. Chances are he's just scared. Having a baby means less time for both of you, alone or together. It also forces you to grow up, even if you already thought you were, and to change your lifestyle. And of course money. You BOTH never had the opportunity to even discuss how you're going to care for it. Remind him that he is not alone in this, you're just as shocked. My husband was afraid of the infamous "we're not ready". Guess what? You never will be either. NEVER. Period. Even if you have all the time and money worked out, you still have to change your life. But it will be ok. As long as you tell him exactly how you feel, and in a good, patient way, he'll get through it. He's just nervous and probably shocked. And scared. I'm sure this is the main reason he's showing anger. I got my mother in law and friends in on the bandwagon. They all told him the same thing. Stop being scared, you're never gonna be ready, and this is the gift of a life time. I bet when your mother in law finds out, she'll be able to help change his mind. My DH had an abusive father that lives in another country. He also worried that he would follow his lead and become a bad dad, but I also know he's gonna be great when we're blessed. If this is the issue, reminding him that he's a strong person, and his own person will help. Good luck and God bless!

Answer 4

Perfectly normal to be scared and nervous!!

I was ready and hubby was scared. This is an incredible decision when you think about it...it's life changing. Your adding a new little person to your family. My husband was worried about how we'll manage it financially.

I still believe that you will find a way to make it happen for your little one. I've been able to stay at home with my son. We cut back on some things so we can have other things. Its all about setting priorities for your family. But, even though we don't spend hundreds on clothes or at Walmart/Target we spend our money taking our family to Europe or last week India.

You'll be able to figure it out. It just takes more planning.

I was really scared when I found out we were pregnant again (now 16 weeks). But, I know we make a good team and we'll figure this out too as we go along!

Answer 5

If you weren't at least a little scared then I would think you are crazy. I am now a mother of two with my third one on the way and before I got pregnant with my first I swore I would never have kids. I didn't want anything to do with them and I didn't feel comfortable even holding a baby. Now I love everything about being a mother. It is hard and also the most rewarding job I've ever had. Don't worry too much.

Answer 6

oh my I can remember this like it was yesterday! : )
My husband and I where marred for 15 years and were
told buy doctors that I would never get pregnant so I went to work at Wal- Mart and just on our marry way when my husband had his 5 Th back surgery then all at once bingo I was pregnant [ not to say 7 of us at Wal -Mart where pregnant at the same time yes one after the other lets see January- July lol ] I wanted to surprise my husband buy buying baby shoes for valentines and giving them to him but he went to the doctors with me and she sent me to the hospital and had a ultra sound done and we saw the baby at 12 weeks and so much for my surprise BUT my husband was beside himself with joy as for my mom you see our son was her first and only grandchild. As for having a child it has been a true blessing from God and the sooner you decide to the better and the more joy you will have. As for being scared well that is just part of it I like calling it JOY not scared when you do get pregnant or before get the book " What
to Expect When your Expecting " it is the best book ever put out and it will take you from the begging to the end of your pregnancy Best wishes and Good look God Bless

Answer 7

i got nervous talking to my spouse about how i really feel because that at like that don't really care

Answer 8

its always scary thinking about the responsibiity, but everything will work out. your never ready until the baby is here.

Answer 9

if your are not ready then you are not ready. when the time is right i believe there will be no problems at all.

Answer 10

If you are this conflicted about just TALKING about having children, you are not ready.