Best for the child - Care arrangements?

Question

I am a father to a 15 year old boy. His mother and I split about a twelve years ago, and have never lived together. we verbally agreed on sharing his care. 50-50, about 3 years ago.She has since moved twice, and now refuses to let me have any involvement within his life, bar 1 evening per week, for 3.5 hrs, and alternating weekends or alternatively getting back with her, which is something that I am not prepared to do, after serious contemplation. She takes him off to visit members of her family and friends, and everytime I try to schedule any activity with him, she claims that he is too busy. I have been told that I should wait until he is 16, before allowing him to make his own mind up, but by then, knowing her, she would have brainwashed him into thinking that I don't care about him, or want anything to do with him. We have already tried going to court, of which they refused my application, due to the lies that she told forcing my son to side with her or not being allowed to go home

Answer 1

he is old enough to make his own mind up at the age of 15...you are making the effort to see him and she is refusing...take her to court...do not wait until he is 16, let him have his say too, he hs a mind of his own, but still see a lawyer, i hate it when women do that....it's nasty

Answer 2

Sounds familiar. I have had similar issues which aren't resolved. To keep my sanity as everyone grows up a little I am honest with my children, I am consistent and polite to my ex in all communications, written, text or spoken. I do what I promise to do and I write to the children with positive messages and stay as much a part of their lives as I can whilst trying not to be a negative element. Never do sad to part, always do ecstatic to meet. If an event dosent happen because of her changing arrangements then I tell the children why we couldn't do what we had planned but will try another day. It is hellish, but the alternative of giving up on my children is not an alternative. They will make up their own minds as they grow. Good luck.

Answer 3

That can't refuse your application. What state do you live in? They have to hear your case, it's the court's obligation. And depending on the state, but most states allow children as young as 12 to decide where they want to live.

Answer 4

on condition that there is a few extraordinary version occurring. I do business from abode. Hubby go away by technique of 7am and would not go back till 4:45pm or later. each and every morning he tells me he desires we were wealthy so he might want to stay abode with me and that i tell him I want he might want to stay abode. once each and every few months he does take an unpredicted day without work and we spend maximum of that day in mattress napping and taking area in one yet another. that is our psychological well being day. at the same time as i trust unappreciated or that we are in a rut I merely tell him. Then we do some thing for us even even if that is making effective everybody is asleep and we cuddle on the settee or have a hearth outdoors. some thing for merely both human beings. that is as a lot as us to keep linked and take the stress off of one yet another when we want it. that is likewise as a lot as us to appreciate that the different you'll't examine our minds so we ought to apply our words. in case you want a quickie then tell him. some weeks in the past I stated, "in case you position the little guy to mattress and placed me bare in our mattress might want to you be attracted to a quickie?" His answer become, "for sure". So at the same time as he were given to the mattress i become asleep and he gently woke me up and we had an truly good time. If he had enable me sleep i might want to were disillusioned because i needed and mandatory the actual connection. I actually were ill and had surgical operation on the grounds that and would't wait to experience properly sufficient to attack him. correct earlier he walks out the door tomorrow tell him that you're hoping the youngsters bypass to mattress a jiffy early so that you've time for a quickie earlier you both bypass out. He would help extra to get them in mattress and also you'll both get what you want and want. keep chatting with him and robust success!

Answer 5

Find a good family lawyer, keep notes. Do not stop in obtaining a joint custody agreement. In the mean time remember quality-time means more than quantity.. GL

Answer 6

There are ways but of course it's not easy. You can request to have supervised visitation. Not fun but you get to see him and he will know the lengths you are willing to go to to spend time with him. Why do so called loving parents put their kids through messes like this?!?

Answer 7

Go back to court for joint custody. Get representation if you have to but if you allow her to continue to keep him from you...she will have him brainwashed. Document how and when she doesnt let you see him and take the documentation to court with you.

Answer 8

All you can do is tell him the truth, that you want to be with him,but it is not allowed right now. Kids are smarter than you think, and unfortunately he will have anger towards his mom when he gets older for doing this to him.

Answer 9

take her to court,he is old enough to tell the judge who he wants to be with.in todays world the courts will put a child on stand .he is old enough to leave now,no one agrees with the other in cases like this.its the child who is getting hurt.good luck