How can i get my mom to be strong again?

Question

my mom feels so weak.. she has been in a domestic violence sintuation for about 17 years.. it has stopped now but she is still with my dad and he is still horrible to her.. he always shouts at her and like to control everythin she does... shes havin a breakdown.. she has been so strong all these years but now shes givin up and hse is feelin weak.. i dnt know what to say to her.. help

Answer 1

report your dad for mental cruelty to the police. get a doctor to see her too.

Answer 2

She needs to understand that he is the one that is weak. That is the reason he treats her that way. My husband thought we would have a relationship like that. So one day he starting and as he approched me I snapped on him. I put him in his place I didn't back down. I refused to show him the fear I had in my heart. It did help that I was wearing clog sandals on my hands as boxing gloves. I just couldn't take any more hits. My iron is low so I bruise easily and the pain seams to never go away. It doesn't help that I'm 5.5 and he is 6.3. He still runs off at the mouth at times especially if we are in public and he thinks I'll just ignore him. I just ask him ( Do You Really Want To See That Side Of Me And Here In Front Of Other People) That ends it fast. Don't give an inch when you first start. Act as though you have poor self control.

Answer 3

My mom was in a phsyically abusive relationship with my step father until I was 18, my sisters 20 & 12, brother 15. We finally talked her into leaving. She didn't have small children to worry about babysitters so we thought she could do it alone with our help. We neglected to get her counseling. Due to financial stresses and, I believe, lonliness she jumped into what we all thought was a great relationship. After the new guy alienated mom from the family he sent my younger brother & sister to live with me. He mentally and emotionally abused her. She committed suicide March 24, 2004. When I was young, she was the strongest woman I knew. I believe she was strong for her babies. When she didn't have us to care for anymore, she lost her will. She thought we could take care of ourselves, since we had been for a while. She didn't feel important or needed by anyone and men had destroyed her self esteem to the point that she felt like she had no way out. Save your mom. Her soul can only take so much pain. Get her away from your dad and into counseling (counseling is very important, for you too). By the time my mom wanted my help I had given up trying to help. Tired of her going back. Don't give up on your mom. You could be saving her life. I have alot of regrets where this issue is concerned. I beg you to help your mom. She will get strength from you and be that strong woman you remember.

Answer 4

Katie,

There are support groups for Doomestic Violence victims that help by allowing a person to talk about the life they lead ...it allows for a group healing to happen ..where all can benefit from the experiences of the members, thier stories and thier renewed strength...... you job is to be a supportive daughter and help her where and when you can to show her you care and will support the changes she may have to make.

Do some reasearch in the local police dept Victim's advocate office or local phone book......

Good Luck !

Answer 5

I wouldn't give up on her what ever you do. Its a very tough call, everyone is so different, on what will bring your mother threw this. Tell her how you feel for starters, and perhaps what you think she should do. If your willing to walk with her threw it all tell her that too. Gather up information for her. Reading up about this situation, its affects, and solutions would help. Check into resources for her to get help from, and what not. Support groups and shelters are out there also.

I hope all goes well!

Answer 6

Girl the best thing to do is stick by your mom's side.. I hate a man that does a woman that way.. I know she does feel weak.. The best thing to do is pray for not only your mom but your father as well... I hope everything turns out ok.. I'll keep you in my prayers.

Answer 7

Tell your mother that she has done enogh for others. Those are the words. Tell her she has to look after her self for you. These ARE the magic words that could have saved MY mother's life. You may also take her to counsellers. There are strict laws against domestic violence. You will definitely get help

Answer 8

I DON'T KNOW HOW OLD YOU ARE BUT YOU KNOW YOU CAN REPORT THIS TO AUNT, UNCLE, GRANDMA, GRANDPA, SCHOOL COUNSELOR. YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE ALONE ON THIS ESPECIALLY WHEN YOUR MOM IS IN DENIAL. YOUR MOM NEEDS HELP NOW!! LIKE ASAP!! THE
ONLY THING THAT WILL MAKE HER HAPPY AGAIN IS A DIVORCES AND YOU AS A DAUGHTER CAN TALK TO HER
WHEN YOUR DAD IS NOT AROUND. PLEAD WITH HER TO
LEAVE HIS A** RIGHT AWAY. NO ONE SHOULD HAVE TO LIVE LIKE THIS. KEEP TALKING TO HER, HOPEFULLY SHE WILL
OPEN UP HER EYES. MAYBE A FAMILY MEMBER WILL STEP
IN TO TAKE YOU AND ANY OTHER SIBLING TO A WOMEN'S
BATTER SHELTER UNTIL THE DIVORCES OR LEGAL SEPARATION IS COMPLETE. YOUR MOM DOES NOT HAVE
TO WORRY ABOUT A THING THIS SHELTER WILL NOT GIVE OUT ANY INFO ON HER OR ANY FAMILY MEMBERS SHE
MAY HAVE WITH HER AS SHE TEMPORALLY STAYS THERE'S. JUST REMEMBER KEEP TALKING TO HER AND
DON'T GIVE UP.

Answer 9

See if you can talk your Mom, into going for therapy, they can help her use tools, to help her get her self esteem back, if not, buy her books on self esteem. take her out once in a while, and start talking to her, so she can open up to you, she needs an outlet, to express herself. Take her out of that house, Church is a good start. Why in all these years, was her husband not reported to the police? My pray"s go out to your family, because this has had to affected the whole family1

Answer 10

this is depression, this is despair, the feeling of you no longer have control over anything, this is a losing of who you are and of yourself, this is despair, letting someone else control you and your being, there is no selfworth, that is not love but emptiness, she should pack a small bag, walk out the door, it can't be any worse at the local shelter! they can help you start a new life in a new apartment and then back on life's path to worthiness

Answer 11

Let her know that you love her and are there for her, she needs to leave him, ask her to do it for you, (it doesn't mean she doesn't love you if she stays, it just means she's not ready). I don't know how old you are so I can't tell you what you should do - my parent's put us through this crap for 20 years, he left her in the end (for another woman) and mum's been happy ever since. I just gave up trying to fix things when I was 10 and let them get on with it, in the end it's their problem - your mum knows what she needs to do. Love her for who she is inside (while she might have forgoten who she really is), and don't forget you need to take care of your self first - your mum will find her own way!

Do whatever you need to to stay strong yourself.