My cheating drama king boyfriend of ten months broke up with me for no reason (ok maybe 4 new gold diggers who knows he just gave me the space speech and left )after i sat there faithfully like alot of women do beliving in my heart & in him that he would change 4 me, i know ur thinking im crazy but love make u do crazy things.Sure im like beyonce i could have another man ''any minute ''but it's like..i just gave my all can u understand that?when im at work im fine but when i get home 2 my empty apartment "it's so crazy "memories"its the worst feeling in the world"some days i try 2 hang out late 2 avoid even going home.when im laying in my bed i go 2 missing him..i could feel my eyes swell up with water "why couldn't he change 4 me''i find myself slipping into the stage of calling him all the time askin him 2 come home so this pain can dissapear but that just pushes him away even more i don't know wut im doing i know deserve better anyway but i need 2 exscape the world im in any advice?
2007-01-24 00:35:29 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You are not alone, and what you are going through is the normal feelings as women that we endure. I like how you said that like Beyonce you can get another man, this is key. Instead of only thinking of the "Good Times" realize what this man has done to you and know that you deserve better. No man changes for a woman this is a misconception, a man will change when he is good and ready, if he wants a wife and a serious and faithful relationship he will be mature and ready and he will capture that woman. If he wants to pretend and lie and hurt and cheat then he will do this also. Basically what I am saying is that we have to get smarter and serious about our worth so these "Players/Dogs" won't take us under, the time you are wasting on this fool is d-valueing your self esteem so when the next man comes knocking you won't be ready and he could truly be who you need. Chin up-be strong and let him go, forgive him, and have a good cry, scream, yell, or whatever that will take some of the pain away, then do something nice for yourself, and for that empty apartment fill it with new things that won't take you down "memory lane". This too shall past.
2007-01-24 00:48:43 · answer #1 · answered by livlovelaugh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm no expert, but i've been in the same situation. There is one fact, and that no man will change for you unless he wants to, or is willing to. A woman can never stay or go into a relationship thinking her man will change eventually. I'm sure you've heard that. The one thing you need to be concerned about is your happiness. You come first. If you're not happy, if he's not making you happy, then there is someone else out there who will compliment you (meaning someone whose a good match). Maybe it's a self esteem issue, or whatever it may be. No one deserves to be treated this way. You called him your cheating drama king boyfriend, that should already tell you something. I know it may be hard to forget someone, but you really have to look at what's best for you. Do you want to be in a relationship with someone who cheats on you? Men do things that we allow them to do.... that's another fact. Try hanging out with your friends, or find friends to hang out with if you don't feel like going home. Keep yourself busy to keep your mind off of him. A woman should never tell another woman to leave her man (because that woman won't), but only tell her what it looks like from the outside looking in. This may sound corny but in a relationship (as I found as I have grown) ... you need friendship, truth and compromise... and major thing is believing in one another. Believe it or not, it exists as long the two parties are willing to make it work. When the two parties have done all they could to make it work, and didn't work out, then it just wasn't meant to be. I believe that there's someone else that'll make that happen. I hope you find what you're looking.
2007-02-01 01:30:18 · answer #2 · answered by ricah 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
FIRST: Don't Call Him. It will make you look and feel pathetic.
NEXT: NEVER, let me repeat, NEVER enter into a relationship with another person thinking that they will change for you or that you can do something to make them change.
People are who they are. If a person is going to change something about themselves, THEY must be the ones to realize they need to make a change and then THEY must be the ones to do the work on themselves that results in a change. People RARELY think they need to make the same improvements in themselves that others think they should.
You say you know you deserve better - but you don't really believe that or it would be easier for you to move on. If you really believe you deserve better you wouldn't keep calling and asking him to come back.
The only way to make your pain truly disappear is to work on yourself. Why did you enter into a relationship with someone who is not good for or to you? Why, even though you say you deserve better are you so willing to settle for less? Why, even though you realize that he does not care for you do you continue obssessing about him and begging him to come back.
These are tough questions, but if you can begin to try to answer them - TRUTHFULLY, you will grow as a person because you will see areas in yourself that need work and you'll be able to begin building up those areas and you will be better prepared to make much better relationship decisions in the future.
Good luck to you.
2007-01-24 08:45:12 · answer #3 · answered by Marvelissa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you - There is no easy way out - It will hurt! The only thing you can do to even try to forget about the pain and him is to replace time spend with him or thinking of him with something or someone else. Party more, spend time with friends, travel, get a hobby, change your clothes, hairstyle, state if you want to but change is as good as a holiday!
2007-02-01 04:58:21 · answer #4 · answered by Juanita L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
STOP PHONING HIM if he felt anything for you or truely wanted to be with you he'd contact you. I have been with my partner 2 years and when we've needed space i turn my mind onto something else and wait for him to phone me and he does every time. If you ex partner doesn't phone you then you know hes not good enough for you, you need a boyfriend who'd ring you sweep you off your feet and want to be with you this guy sounds like he couldnt give a sh*t about your feelings or how you are, get on with your life find someone who deserves you
2007-01-24 08:47:21 · answer #5 · answered by firsttimer 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear. Take a day for yourself, cry, eat icecream, get your hair and nails done. You really don't need that... My man was doing the same thing. I wish you good luck in getting over this, but think about it, do you really wanna be with someone who cheats on you?
Good Luck!
2007-01-24 08:44:00 · answer #6 · answered by angel2005_2001 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look at it, this way. HE DIDN'T LOVE YOU! How are you gonna feel Love, for someone that didn't have the same emotions, for you. He Damn-sure didn't respet you. Now get on with showing yourself some respect. And look for someone that can carry your water. And know how to make you feel loved. Good Luck!
2007-01-24 08:41:11 · answer #7 · answered by Goggles 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
people don,t change. accept this is how he is. i get lonely sometimes on my own, but i have kids and carn,t get out, your young call a friend go out and have a good time, you wont be happy with a bloke who treats you bad, your precious and should be treated good. God loves you
2007-01-24 08:42:42 · answer #8 · answered by denise g 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you need to realize that he not the person you thought he was,I know it hard to think when your hurting But he not who you though he is.
2007-01-24 08:45:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey,look,you love him so much but he didnot cherish you.So it is his loss not yours!!!He should be weep and crazy and ask for your forgiveness.You will have your new life and find someone who love you like you do!^-^
2007-01-31 22:45:29 · answer #10 · answered by kelen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋