Baked Beans?

Question

One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme
sacrifice and gave up beans. Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from work.
Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and told
him that I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odor of baked beans was more than I could stand. With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas.Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and
exclaimed delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight."
He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner
table. I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang.He made me promise not to

touch the blindfold until he returned and went to answer the call.
The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and thepressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running
over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill.
I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around mevigorously. Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. Thestink was worse than cooked cabbage. Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I
went on like this for another few minutes. The pleasure wasindescribable.
When eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of mythe end of my
freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed iton
my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased
with myself My face must have been the picture of

innocence when my husband returned, apologizing for taking so long. He asked me if I hadpeeked through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not.
At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!"
I fainted!!!!!!!

Reader: no it didnt happen to me I would have died not fainted!

Answer 1

Absolutely hilarious.... would you marry me? loool

Answer 2

Long but funny! 10/10!

Answer 3

LMAO... that was long but worth it.. .great joke.. I hope it is a joke.. wink wink.. Whatever.. 10/10 *****

Answer 4

good one

Answer 5

old but funny

Answer 6

way too long.

Answer 7

very good......did this happen to you?