it's been 9 months since me and my ex bf parted..it wasn't a friendly part,in fact it's one which left a deep scar on the both of us and i saw him a few days ago and he pretended he couldn't see me.this was what happened with us.the both of us had different religions and this posed as the biggest prob.we have been together for 2.5 yrs & he really meant the whole world to me.both of us were so deeply in love but after awhile,he began telling me that if i wanna be with him,i gotta convert.he's a christian.if i don't convert,i can never be with him.i was shocked to hear that from him.i thought if the both of us really love each other,nothing else matters.we quarrelled many times because of this & he's also a very insecure & possessive guy.he didn't allow me to go for class gatherings or chat with guys.i'm a really outgoing girl & have many male acquaintances & he said he just couldn't trust me.my mom made me break up with him cos he forced me to convert & this showed he doesn't love me
2007-01-23 22:50:03 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
and i loved him so much that i'm willing to convert for his sake but after awhile,i realised i've been so silly if i do that because he isn't showing respect for me.we broke up & got back together a few times but we know it's not gonna last.and then one day,i went over to his house and brought him some brownies i made,i cried in his arms(we already broke up)& i said i wanted him back cos i love him so much but he said his love for me has gone & he hugged me cos he treated me as a friend.it's only been 3 days since we parted & he's saying all these!i was sooo heartbroken.& when i saw him a few days ago.he tried to pretend he couldn't see me.he didn't look good either,what do you guys think about this?
2007-01-23 22:53:12 · update #1
i'm not in love with him anymore..i've moved on and i enjoy my life now but i just wanna look at different perspectives and thoughts from different people..thanks =)
2007-01-23 22:56:43 · update #2
No, you're not in the wrong at all. He was trying to force his beliefs upon you, and he was the one who couldn't trust you (when, I'm assuming, you gave him no reason not to trust you).
Also, I don't think your mum should have forced you to break up with him, but I think breaking up was the right thing to do under the circumstances.
2007-01-23 22:55:56 · answer #1 · answered by Tom :: Athier than Thou 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I been a christian for the past13 years. What I have learnt with time is that u cannot be fully converted for a particular reason like for healing , for success , boyfriend or any reason u can give. It has to be your heart for God and everything alse comes later. if u are trying to convert for his sake, what happens in case u break up, wouldnt u feel u have wasted ur time? Its not worth it my dear. If he really loves u he will have a great choice.
My husband is not a christian and truth be told I wanted somebody who is a christian but I fell in love with him and we are happy together.
Dont go grovelling to him, if he doesnt want u then u are better of alone HAPPY...
Issues of separate religions are usually sensitive but it takes maturity to handle them.
All the best
2007-01-24 07:08:27 · answer #2 · answered by LadyK 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
where do i start........the way he is treating you is soooo wrong.I think you deserve much better.
You wanted to change for him & he did not respect u for that, something else is goin on, coz 1st he asked u to change (religion) and then when u wanted to he acted weird. And i cnt understand how he can not love you after 2.5years and call u he's friend.somethin is not rite. Ask him, tell u want to know and thats gona help u to get over him coz he is making it really hard for you.
Im sorry if this sounds confusing to you but i am confused. i dnt understand what he is doin now.
All i can tell u is that u sound like a very nice girl and all tho its gona be hard & take time to get over him you have to do that.
U only have 1 life, live it to the fullest
2007-01-24 07:01:52 · answer #3 · answered by Lady_Y 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i dont know what's ur religion but may be that's really bothering him n if he's like that now he will always make an issue about the religion thing... so u got to think well... may be u should forget him and find someone else... and if he loved u he would not have ignored u... i am sure there will be someone who'll love u more... it's not necessary that he's the one made for u or he's the one who can love u most... u may be happier with someone else...
who would accept u as u r... gd luck
2007-01-24 06:55:07 · answer #4 · answered by Rose 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One thing does matter in what you have said. You stated that nothing else mattered. God does matter, but he was wrong in being demanding like he was. The Word of God states that not to be unequally yoked together. However he does not understand the Word of God, and was using that Word to controll you. If he has done this he will be trying to controll you in everthing else also. Your Mom was right, and you should have seen that yourself. I love the Lord with all my heart, but I will not force myself or my beliefs on no one. Stay away from him, and be glad that he is out of your life.
2007-01-24 06:57:44 · answer #5 · answered by Ex Head 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he doesn't want to be with you anymore & is tired of things. Perhaps he is now interested in somebody else or just enjoying his own company. Anyway he's moved on & so should you. This man is proving to you that he doesn't love you every step of the way so perhaps now is the time to accept that fact (as sad & angry as it makes you feel) & practice being kind to yourself to improve your self esteem. You sound very young so just enjoy your friends & family for now. Best of luck!!!
2007-01-24 07:03:14 · answer #6 · answered by Mishell 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
to be blunt you should not have to convert to something you do not know anything about and there are many more fish in the sea so it goes. Do not be pressured into something that you do not want.
As for your ex he should not date someone in another religion other than his own if he is going to be so dogmatic and possessive. His insecurity can lead to abuse both physical and mental.
2007-01-24 07:03:31 · answer #7 · answered by kyky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is better to find out and confront this now. If he is that committed to his faith, it would never work for him to be with an unbeliever. You aren't in the wrong, but neither is he. It is what it is. Move on and try to get to know more about a guy before you fall hard for him. Life is full of lessons. You've learned one.
2007-01-24 06:58:56 · answer #8 · answered by moose on the loose 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he loves u he will come back to u underminding his religion except he doesn't love u. don't be in a haste just feel relaxed if really he's the one meant for u believe me definately he will come back but if not the one God will give ur perfect man who will respect u not counting his religion cause religion his for God not for we human to critize a good lover doesnot count each other religion as obstacle to their love life. so don't be disturbed about that ur ideal man God has prepared already for u.
2007-01-24 07:54:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel sorry for you. You are very unhappy and it is going to take some time before you get over him. Because you need to get over him, sweetie.
Eventually you will move on and find somebody else who will respect and trust you.
Good luck!
2007-01-24 06:55:56 · answer #10 · answered by Great Dane 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋