At the moment i'm a full time carer for my dad who's extremely sick, long term. This is basically a 24/7 job so I have no time for myself ( I know it sounds selfish but everyone needs some time of their own). I have just had to break up a relationship because I have no time to work at it and life is becoming so stressful for me. I would love to be able to make a relationship work because I'm just a much better person when I'm happy with someone in my life to love. I also would just love to be able to see my friends even once a week. Does anyone have any ideas or advice about this? I would never give up my dad for a guy if that's what it came down to though! He needs my help all the time.
2007-01-23 22:28:09 · 11 answers · asked by ***Miracles Happen*** 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
for many reasons dad cannot be put into a home or hospital and we are not eligible for adequate home nursing...thus the reason i'm his carer
2007-01-23 22:35:37 · update #1
A big problem is that we moved to a new city about 3 years ago and do not have family/ friends here to help. Also how can I make myself talk more openly with people about what is really happening. eg. when friends ask me how i am etc...i always say i'm fine because what else do i say? I've always been a strong girl
2007-01-23 22:41:00 · update #2
there is no health care workers that are on an
outpatient basis that could help you out,
someone from a clinic that could come in one day a week
to give you a break.
how about aunts or uncles,cusins some relative that could give
you at least one or two days off a week.
you must be able to find some solution,
if not family is all we have,if your dad is that sick,and there is
absolutely no one else,you should take pride in what you are
doing for your dad.it is not easy being alone looking after a sick
family member,everyone today has no time for suck a deed.
1st thing they do is ship the sick person off to a cronic
care facility and visit once a week.
you are a very admirable person,you are also a very
proud person.
proud of who you are and where you come from.your parents
did a great job instilling those aspects into your makeup.
such things is how we determine who and what we are
it is not an easy task to have todays sons and daughter
have pride in thier family;s
I take my hat off to you for all your courrage and wisdom.
best of luck, to both you
and your father.
2007-01-23 22:43:32 · answer #1 · answered by rottentothecore 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there are agencies that provide respite care.
this can be someone coming by a couple hours a week or even spending the weekend in a nursing home or assisted living center
it is very important that you take care of yourself in this kind of situation.
if not you could get burned out and start to resent you dad being sick
make sure you are happy and healthy then you are in a better position to help your dad
good luck i wish you the best
PS
i currently work in a assisted living center and i have worked in the human service field for 10 years
2007-01-24 06:34:10 · answer #2 · answered by dreamnfox 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well this is what happens, the parents sacrifice their lives and freedom for you then when they get older sometimes they need that sacrifice returned. Well are you the only child he has? if not of course spread out the responsibility more, and consider hiring a nurse/caretaker. Still make regular visits and stuff, just tell him that you have life responsibilities too and your trying your best. Nursing home is also a possibility if it's just too much for you to handle.
2007-01-24 06:32:48 · answer #3 · answered by yawhosucs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, sorry to hear about your Dad not doing well.
Do you have any family members near by that you could
have help you ? Perhaps take shifts w/ caring for him?
If he went to a church, temple etc. is there anyone fr. there that would be willing to help you out for a couple hours ? Other than that all I could think of would be to have a nurse come in ( hospice) , but that can be costly.
Best of luck .
2007-01-24 06:33:47 · answer #4 · answered by start 6-22-06 summer time Mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take care of your father...provided you are financially very sound!
If you want to breath in some fresh breeze you have to engage a servant for about 3 - 4 hours and do the required works. That includes your remaking the lost relationship.
2007-01-24 06:33:22 · answer #5 · answered by SESHADRI K 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you are doing a great thing - remember all the wonderful things your dad did for you whilst growing up?
i did the same thing - with 3 people in the same house - - very stressful - - i had a very supportive mom that helped me when i asked
try asking other family members to help -- there are also services that will help out as well - "respite" (sp?) call your local social services - - good luck, hang in there, and God bless.
2007-01-24 06:36:28 · answer #6 · answered by tirebiter 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your dad should be getting a home help to call in and make sure he is ok so you can have a bit of time for yourself..speak to your doctor about it.
2007-01-24 06:31:49 · answer #7 · answered by fajita 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In my work I see this allot, the person taking care of a loved one is not taking care of them self. I end up taking care of the care taker. It's good to love your dad and take care of him but you need to find a way of taking care of your needs too.
2007-01-24 06:35:27 · answer #8 · answered by David 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I REALLY UNDERSTAND! taking care of dad should be first.if you find an understanding man things would work out great! finding that kind of man may be difficult but when you do you will have THE RIGHT ONE! be very patient.
2007-01-24 06:42:08 · answer #9 · answered by rocky 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need a guy whos willing to help u with ur dad
2007-01-24 06:36:04 · answer #10 · answered by durastev 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋