As a christian how do you deal with a man who cheated on you and who you are bitter about?

Answer 1

if you cannot deal with this you have to get rid. god wants you to be happy.

Answer 2

As a christian, we should forgive. I know it's not easy, but the Bible says that divorce is a sin, so is holding a grudge. Get down on your knees and give your bitterness to the Lord. Only when you turn it over completely to Him can he begin to heal you. It is out of our human hands to deal with those things alone. I suggest talking to your pastor or seeking a Christian therapist to help you come to terms with your feelings. Maybe you and your husband could attend together and resolve not only that, but what led him to cheat.

I can't tell you how to go about healing, I can only offer suggestion. I will be praying for you, though. Prayer, afterall, is what gets us through life and it's battles.

Answer 3

This question is a bit general ( not sure of it's a spouse/boyfriend) but as someone says Pray about it and then as you would in any other relationship, you let the person know how you feel.

This is something that I have started to do in my life lately and I realize how much it has helped me to get rid of the bitterness and anger. "Letting the other person know how I feel" has helped me to release myself but I also try to use wisdom so that after doing that the relationship in not ruined.

God also wants us to use wisdom as well. You have to ask yourself the question Can this individual be trusted? If I give him another chance, how can I guarantee that he'll not do it again? These are some of the questions that you may want to explore. All the best.

Answer 4

Jesus knew that Judas was going to betray him, but he didn't call for his punishment- Judas felt guilty and took his own life. Instead of bitterness and hatred, think of your own failings and lack of love. God knows our many weaknesses but his love embraces us as imperfect beings. Remember how Peter betrayed Jesus three times just when his loyalty was most needed? Jesus forgave his cowardice and gave him the "keys of the kingdom". His reward was to become the first Pope! Saint Paul too, began by persecuting the Christians, but became converted and spent the rest of his life proclaiming Christ and encouraging the wavering followers to keep the faith. Who are you to judge the man who cheated on you, you don't know his soul or how his life will go on. Don't stay bitter! Rejoice in the love that you have already received and start spreading it around. God loves you more than any man ever could, so keep smiling!!

Answer 5

I would think that a Christian, following the example of Jesus, would forgive the man, and in doing so, be rid of the bitterness. Forgiveness is very freeing that way.

Answer 6

As a Christian, you look at what you can put into relationships, and you look to satisfy your needs in your relationship with God. Remember, the bitterness costs him nothing, but it hurts you on a daily basis - religiously, emotionally and physically. Forgive!

Talk to somebody that cares about you.

Nobody said life would be easy. But the Bible promises we will never get more than what we can handle!!

Answer 7

I have been the man you mention.

The first step is to talk, honestly, about it with him. He can't tell you what made him do it, but you will get his mindset. If he loves you, he will talk openly about it with you.

Next, you must fight the bitterness. If you hold on to the bitterness, you can't truly forgive him, if you choose to remain together.

Finally, yet first and foremost, you must read the word of God. In the Bible, God tells you He will get the vengeance you seek. Let God judge him. If you remain faithful to this man, with love in your heart, you will get blessings for not turning away from this person.
Just out of afterthought, are you married to this man?

Answer 8

In about 1990 I was cheated very cruelly by someone whom I trusted very much. He was my best friend before. But I was wrong, and he misused my trust in him.

I tried to gain back my right (money) but I failed because he was cleverer than me. I did nothing, but I blessed him in His name. I gave the case to Him.

A few months ago, I got the news that the cheater was terribly killed in a traffic accidence.

I could have celebrated his death, but I did not do so. And I dare not say that his accident is the result or the punishment of his bad deeds. I am at no point of giving judgement.

Let God decide whatever He sees to be good. (Do you think my story is true or just a fiction story?)

Answer 9

Forgive him, that is the only option to be free from bitterness. I realise this is hard as you may feel your anger towards him is just therefore to with hold your fogiveness would be justice. The spanner in the works to this logic is Jesus....see he was slain to make a way for sinners to reach God, forgiving even though He himself had done no wrong, that is not justice but that was God's way. Forgiveness is freedom, freedom for that person (which is quite a gift to give) and freedom for yourself. As I said, it is hard and it is realistic to say that true forgiveness for most of us mortals is a process, every time it hurts, chose to forgive..

Answer 10

I have recently been through these trials, and that is exactly what I believe they are. I am young and I do not know all there is to know about God, but I do know that he would forgive. when this happened to me I thought the world was over, I moved my things from the room we shared, I was so hateful to him. I would make the worst comments, and try to make him feel as low as I could. I wanted him to feel what I felt. The girl he was with, well she ridiculed me about my looks, about my relationship...everything, I ended up hating myself for being so horrible that I MADE him cheat.....I was so wrong, I later realized that our relationship was troubled..we were about to go in different directions in our lives and we needed a trial to test our strenght and love....Loyalty was the thing we had a problem facing. I have been in this relationship for 8 years...all through high school, through college, and we have a son.
I can tell you forgivness is very HARD. But when you do it you will find a love underlying all the bad things...It has been less than 1 year since I found out, and I wanted out so bad....months went by and I had the ALMIGHTY of bitterness....Then one day, a friend told me "sit down with him, ask him if he loves you. Ask him if he wants to remain with you. Then tell him he hurt you, tell him you love him, and that you are going to go to the lord and ask him to do the same." I thought my friend was crazy...then she said "When you have prayed say nothing more about what has happened, let God do his work. No more remarks, no more ridicules, no more...don't bring it up" I cried that day because I knew that I was going to hurt so bad...I told him how I felt, he said he loves me more than anything and that he went to God, he prayed. Today we are able to talk about it in a civil manner. Today we have a better relationship than we have had the whole 8 years. I feel LOVED, and I realized I don't even know if I knew what that felt like till now. I love him, and forgiving him freed us both. We both went to the lord, and we both have been forgiven...for not trusting in God to take care of us. He will if you believe...if you let HIM do it.

If he brings you to it He will bring you through it!

It is like death...a horrible painful thing, but if you didn't know pain you would net know happiness....

I wish you the best of luck...God bless you and your family.

Answer 11

This would apply in general to either sex. If he is a professed Christian and you believe in your wedding vows, then you can either discuss it and try to work it out or what your heart guides you to. I notice you say "a man" and not your husband, I assume you are not just sleeping with him and playing house as so many do. If you avoid the word husband and this is your husband, you show lack of respect in not using that word. If so, it appears your mind is already made up. Prayer is the Christian reply to your question, more details are needed. GB