In a crazy love?

Question

I've totally lost interest in the person I'm with. I don't know what to do, because in all honesty she's crazy. The last time I tried to break it off with her, she slashed her wrist. I saved her last time. I really love this person with all of my heart. I've tried to suggest counseling, I've even offered to go with her. Her jealousy is out of hand. I don't know what to do, I can't stay because I'm unhappy. And I'm affraid to leave for fear she'll do it again.

I took care of her after she cut herself. Thing is, she has a really good job. So, if she goes to the hospital she'll lose it. I don't want that to happen to her.

Answer 1

She needs professional help, break up with her and if she tries commiting suicide then contact the authorities and have her commited to a mental hospital. She's holding you hostage by threatening suicide that's not right.

Answer 2

She is a manipulator---knows that she can twist you and keep you by any means possible. Her wrists and mental condition is not any of your concern. She won't do it if you ignore it--but she will do it to the next guy---PLEASE GET OUT TODAY___NOW and let her do whatever she is going to do. Yes she is crazy--but let's be nice and say she is disturbed--and you're not her mom or dad---stop thinking you have to save her. I deal with these types everyday--I know it is a game--men and women BOTH do this and it is nothing short of abuse---thinking she can blame you for her problems is a mental control ploy. GET OUT TODAY if you stay you deserve whatever you get. Stop the drama and the hero role--just get going. Have I made myself clear???

Answer 3

I guess counseling and therapy are the only ways to deal with that problem.

Answer 4

Suggest to her some good reading or going away on mountain trekking

Answer 5

Therapy,,

Answer 6

She needs help.she's very sick,obossesd,take her to a mental house,she nids all the medication there can offer.o da best

Answer 7

This person is trying to trap you--permanently, and it's working so far. She reminds me of an old expression: Crazy like a fox. (Sound appropriate?)

Otherwise, if she's so unstable (and it seems that she is) that when you tell her you want to break up it makes her cut her wrists, then she has far greater and more serious problems than you can possibly solve; as well, these are problems that are waaaay outside of your ability to solve.

Speak to her parents or relatives about your dilemma if you feel comfortable. Ask them to help her or provide extra support bc you intend to break up with her as cleanly, gently, and as kindly as you know how--but you ARE going to do it by 00/00/07--you pick the date. End of discussion with her parents. You have nothing more to say. There is absolutely NOTHING to talk about.

Also, be sure to let YOUR parents, friends, and relatives know of this situation and your intentions so they can provide you with support, which you're going to definitely need.

When you tell her it's over, I think you have several things to do/say in the very moment she threatens to hurt herself or anybody else, including YOU. Or, if she, in any way indicates that she WILL hurt herself, you, or others:

--Say "Okay, I'm sorry you feel/think that way bc it's not necessary, it's not mature, it's not reasonable (and/or), it's not appropriate behavior".

"Such a reaction lets me know that you're not ready for a real/mature/honest/healthy relationship."

--Walk away. Do not hesitate. Do not look back. Do not check up/in with her.

--After the breakup, say "Hello" as you pass her on the street or in the hall and keep on walking. If she's lit on fire, call a fireman to put it out. No hesitation. No exceptions. Not one time.

--DO report these threats to her family. AND also report to a school counselor or nurse; to some other mental health professional or to your local mental health agency. They are all required by law to act and to further report these threats and this behavior so she can be protected from herself. That may mean hospitalizing her involuntarily, which would be entirely appropriate.

Indeed, she needs to be hospitalized and watched, esp. since she has shown by her previous behavior that she is definitely a danger to herself and has potential danger to others.

In sum, she uses threats and guilt to keep her hooks in you. You need to responsibly do what you need to do to pry them out.

Remember:

Wanting to break up with her does not make you a bad person--even though she's trying to convince you of this.

There is no reasonable reason for you to act/play the part of a saint and stay, especially when you're unhappy in the relationship--even though she'd like to polish and shine your halo for all eternity by keeping you forever trapped by her side.

If you fold and stay with her when she threatens or actually acts on hurting herrself, you'll only be helping her to trap you deeper and deeper everytime.

There is no reason why you should not be free to pursue a mature relationship with someone else who can return honest affection, true respect, and real consideration towards you--even though she'd like you to believe otherwise.

Please don't delay. She has a mental health problem that existed loooong before you met her. In no way did you cause it or bring it on. She's just playing it out on her "stage" and keeping you as a captive "audience" with her insecurity, threats, and personal pain.

As it is, I think it's a good idea for you to see a counselor NOW for objective support for yourself in addition to that of your parents'. No reason for you to die of guilt and self-blame over breaking up with her, or even just WANTING to break up with her and certainly not because she slit her wrists...again, and again and again and again and....

What your "girlfriend" does with her life, after a certain point, is entirely up to her. NOT YOU..., even if that means her parents will be planning a funeral.

Now, from the sounds of your post, if you don't take care of this situation, and soon, you too will have a serious mental health problem needing treatment--and not just supportive counseling.

Get busy, stay busy. You're in a trap, but you CAN get out of it.

Lots of good luck to you.

Answer 8

she is a psycho, you will need to formulate a strategy to leave her otherwise you will find yourself hooked up to her longer than u expect.