am i crazy?

Question

i really want a baby. im 19. ive been through alot and ive been single for about a year( my ex cheated on me and ruined me). well anyways, when i was 17 i thought i was pregnant. i was so happy. then i found out that i wasnt and it broke my heart. i dont even want to get married, i just want to have a baby. is this so bad that i want this? im a great person, and im pretty and i have bright future ahead of me so, am i crazy for wanting this?

by the way, i work my *** off about 85 hours a week taking care of myself and saving. i own my own house, car, and i have them paid off. i know i can financially raise a child.

Answer 1

No, you're not crazy. You want what you want. However, I think you need to reconsider. It sounds like you're being a bit selfish and not giving much thought to the child. A child deserves a two parent family. I know this isn't always possible. Divorce happens. Death happens. But you are making a CHOICE to bring this child into a single parent home and I just don't think it is a good or fair choice. You say you've worked your *** off and are financially stable. Are you financially stable enough that you don't have to work? Because otherwise your child will be raised in daycare. I don't think it is fair to do that to a child. If you can't be the one to raise the child then why have the child? Also, I think you need to consider yourself. You are still young. Sure, plenty of women have children at your age. My mom did. But what is the rush? You have plenty of time. You say your financially set, then travel. Do things you really enjoy doing. Why saddle yourself with a child on purpose at this point in your life?

Personally, it sounds to me like you are trying to feel some void. I think you need to look inward more and make sure this is what you really want. And if you want it for the right reasons.

Answer 2

Oh sweetie, the last thing I want to do is patronize you but you're so young and at 19 you really don't know what you want. You sound so heartbroken and I think you just want a baby so you can mend. And no, you're not crazy - there's nothing wrong with wanting somebody to love. But you need to realise that having a baby on your own will be no easy task. You say you have a bright future ahead of you, but that may and most likely will change if you have a baby. Unless you have a job that pays great money (to pay for childcare when you return to work) or a saint of a mother that will raise your child while you're at work, you will have to go on welfare. Are you happy with living with the bare necessities and struggling to give your baby everything it needs because raising a baby is extremely expensive. I understand your heartache over your boyfriend cheating on you but with the rare exception, teenage boys are not faithful - because they're teenage boys. You're young. Think about what the future holds for you - many romances, marriage?, babies. Please don't think that your only option to mend your broken heart is to have a baby because although you will love it, you will end up regretting getting pregnant at such a young age. Don't force a baby to live a hard life because you're sad. Reach out to your friends and family and start to live your life for you. Forget the boyfriend and start anew. Go out with your friends and have some fun. As you get older you'll learn to judge the characters of the men you meet and you'll know which ones are worth the extra effort. I sincerely hope you start to feel better soon and I hope I've helped you a little. Good Luck.

Answer 3

Hi honey.
I don't think you're crazy but i do believe you don't have the slightest clue what you are wishing for.
I turned 19 one month after my son was born. I got married, stayed with him for the first year ans I was never on welfare. When he was about one and 1/2 years old, I got divorced. Since that day I have been struggling to raise my son alone. I too have my own apartment and car but you can't imagine how hard it is to raise a child all by yourself.
I had a lot of help from my parents when I started to work again but eventually he went into a day care center.
He is now six years old and is my best friend and my greatest love, and I think it was all worth it.
If this is really what you want, go for it but be prepared because sometimes you'll feel helpless and alone and wanting to run away.
In the end of each day the smile of your child will make everything OK and you will find the strength to keep fighting.
Kisses and lots of luck.

Answer 4

Im 20, I got married at 19, by my choice and to the love of my life. He is successful and we are very stable financially, but im in school. Sometimes I feel like I hope im not pregnant and inside I wish I was and when I find im not Im happy and sad. The truth is you have to finish your education its very important, you have to be financially stable, and you should be able to give your child all the time he deserves. And if you want to have a baby, i mean carry it in you for 9 months... you should have a child with a man you love and plan to spend the rest of your life with. If you are talking about adopting then you should still wait until after your education and can get a really great job. 85 hours a week is nuts, when would you give your baby time?

Answer 5

if u work 85 hours a week, how will u have time to raise a child as a single parent??? I think u need to get real! there is more to it than playing with a cute baby u know

Answer 6

It sounds to me like you are lacking something in your life. A baby is real. He needs food, clothing, shelter, affection, and stability. I don't think your crazy for wanting a child, but I do think your crazy for wanting one under circumstances stated in your question. You are just reaching the age where you can do things in your life without being tied down. Enjoy your freedom, because one day you will meet a man and want to get married and start a family. Please don't rush things. you have your whole life ahead of you.

Answer 7

No, you are not crazy! it's naturaly, to have a baby. I am 24 years old, and I have a daughter, she has 3 years, and we are live by ourself. So, I finish the faculty, I have occupation like act for children, and I have a job-great job. But I think, that you shall wait to find some men-right person to live with hom and than have a baby. It's very hard to live without men's help! Please. belive me!! I hope that you will do a right thing! Just be happy!!

CAOO!!!!!!

Answer 8

If you are financially and emotionally ready, then sure. But, I think it is better to wait until you find a man you want to spend the rest of your life with before you have a child. You are young - don't be in any rush!

Answer 9

As far as my answer goes,yes you are nuts!Todays society has drifted sooo far from what should be right.A kid growing up should know what it takes to stay together,and love having both parents around.My parents did split,thats just my feelings.

Answer 10

nothing wrong with feeling that way. the question is can you afford to act on it. babys aren't cheep and you shouldn't have to raise your kid using welfare. if you can't pay for it all yourself then don't do it till you can.