My long distant bf said he has slept with a woman twice. And I'm a little angry to say the least, although we're not officially in a relationship and we never mentioned monogamy. He said that he doesn't want to put all his eggs in one basket i.e. saying that cuz he thinks I'm sleeping around that he doesn't want to get hurt and he knows I have a high sex drive and thinks I'm unfaithful. I told him I had slept with a guy to see his reaction, and then later told him I was joking, but he thinks I was serious. But why do you think he is sleeping with this girl? and how should I address this to him without appearing emotional? P.S. we had a conversation about long-distant relationships and he was saying long-distant relationships DO work. He's asked me to be his official girlfirend on a couple of ocassions, and I told him it does work, do you think he's trying to make me want to be his girlfirend?
2007-01-23 20:42:18 · 20 answers · asked by Jenny 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Sorry, I told him it doesn't* work. He also said that if he knew 100% that I wasn't sleeping with somone else, this other woman would be out the picture.
2007-01-23 20:45:21 · update #1
Let me get this straight. You LIED to a man who doesn't want to get hurt about being UNFAITHFUL as a TEST, and you want to know why he's looking for someone else? I'm pretty sure you blew it.
2007-01-23 20:48:47 · answer #1 · answered by gelfling 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
"We never mentioned monogamy..."
I've been stuck in this position before. You don't want to mention it --- it seems awkward --- but you don't because you just assume that "yeah, we'll be cool...we'll take the high road at this stage in our relationship" --- but it always bites you in the *** in the end.
From now on, never take the "cool high road" unless you both are truly just testing the waters. Once you become attached, then tell him/her so. The other might say "But..."...but his/her "but" ain't worth the emotional devastation that occurs when this happens. That piece of mind is worth 10 James Bonds.
And never lie to get even or prove a point...it doesn't make him/her jealous...it just gives him/her the green light to screw more men/women.
2007-01-23 20:50:24 · answer #2 · answered by zzzzzzzzz27 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Saying you slept with someone else to 'see his reaction' was not a good plan. But it does not mean it's automatically ok for him to sleep with other people.
The best you can say for him is that he didn't realise it was meant to be monogamous, but I think he just can't cope with the distance and has a too high libido.
2007-01-23 21:21:00 · answer #3 · answered by Tom :: Athier than Thou 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I did not here you call him your ex boyfriend. Come on he is not even worth your time and you shoukd not have aa discussion about it. Just pack up and go. You are wasting your healing time on him and yet he is humping some other woman. You are far more virtuous than he will ever be and he has no right to give you ultimatums
2007-01-23 22:25:01 · answer #4 · answered by cynnie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since it's unofficial, why are u so mad abt it? And since u don't think it wld work...so y bother if he sleeps around? In the first place, why did u even lie to him abt such things(slept wit a guy)? Since u don't think it's gonna work, move on and don't be so pissed abt it...u already don't have confident in this relationship so why bother so much.
2007-01-23 20:58:41 · answer #5 · answered by DooGie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm not sure what not officially in a relationship means..so since you told him the relationship wasn't going to work anyway cause of the distance i guess he has the right to move on...sounds like you two are going to be good friends but nothing more..maybe friends with benifits..but you two don't sound like you belong together to me
2007-01-23 20:52:10 · answer #6 · answered by B-Rabbit 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is he still your boyfriend? How is being shady (sleeping with other girls) going to make you WANT to be his girlfriend? Sounds like you have a relationship of convenience, if you are OK with that then go for it but don't be so concerned when his convenience takes him elsewhere.
2007-01-23 20:47:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
normally he shouldn't tell it to you cuz it is immoral.
Advice him to avoid such conversation in future cuz some delicate things you need not to know.
If he needs sex, it's ok. But that's only concerns him, not you. Besides, if u wanna prolong your relations, you should respect each other's feelings.
If he slept it's his problem.
2007-01-23 20:56:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well honey i think you better let him put his eggs in all the basket he wont to all but your and no long-distant relationships with guy is going to work out to he wont to have all the girl so let he go
2007-01-23 20:51:59 · answer #9 · answered by EVA J 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Lose him. You deserve better. Sounds like this relationship is over.
2007-01-23 20:58:31 · answer #10 · answered by bountyhunter101 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋