Would cheating make you second guess your relationship, if it happened awhile ago?

Question

Does time make cheating acceptable? Do you consider it "in the past?" Do you still make as big of a deal as you would have if you found out during/right after the relationship?

Scenario: A man has been married to his wife for 3 years, and finds out that during their first year of marriage, his wife had a "fling" with a male co-worker for a few months.
If it was dating with NO sex involved, what would your reaction be?
What if there was sex involved?


This isn't ME! Just curious.. does time "heal" cheating?
I don't think it changes what happened.
Your opinions?

Answer 1

I think that with being unfaithful in a relationship - the trust is what is broken. that is so hard to get back, I'm not sure if its actually possible.

Answer 2

Women like to have a "back up" plan.

Men prefer to leave when that happens because they're biologically programmed to avoid cuckholdum.

One a slut, always a slut. If he decides to stay, he has to put it behind him. But I wouldn't trust her.

I knew a woman who was married for 17 years - two kids ages 15 and 16. Husband was a nice guy - good job, stable. She's a nurse... and from about the 4th year of marriage she cheated on him. While he was paying her way through school, she was cheating on him. When he was overseas with the military, she cheated on him. She even had TWO guys' cell phones that she would call on. Altogether, she had like six other guys - repeatedly - over the last 12 years of her marriage.

Then she just tells her husband and divorces him.

Hey. You want her phone number?

Answer 3

Many people do not understand the nature of cheating within a relationship. Although there may be two sides to the story, unfaithfulness is not acceptable and is emotionally harmful to the other spouse.
The person who cheats doesn’t easily fit into a single mold. There are those who will cheat once, feel badly about it, and never repeat their mistake. Some will continue the cheating pattern again and again until they are caught. Others make a lifestyle out of being unfaithful. If you have a need to know just how to handle a cheating partner, you must first decide how likely it is that they will repeat the same behavior over again. Then you have to think about whether you trust them enough to take their word for it, when they say they are 'sorry'.
Steps
1.Do you know him well?
Consider the sincerity of the person who betrayed you when he asks for reconciliation. You cannot go to him; he has to come to you. Once he does, you have to be sure it will not happen again. Unless you know your partner very well and can account for his actions, you will probably not be able to reassure yourself that it was a one-time event. If you can get past all that, move the spotlight onto yourself.
2.Assure yourself you can live with the knowledge of your partner's betrayal in your relationship before you go any further. No one expects you to forget, but you have to be willing to forgive. Otherwise, your relationship may turn into a vicious cycle of mistrust, revenge and unspoken hate. If you say you will forgive, you have to mean it. Nevertheless, before you do, be sure that your partner understands the kind of irreversible damage he has committed.
3.Talk it over!
Begin mending the relationship. It’s like going back to square one. You have to be sure the conditions that may have caused or allowed for the betrayal are eradicated from your relationship. For example, the person who your partner cheated with has to be out of the picture. No friendship, no once in a while gatherings--no contact whatsoever.
4.Dig deeper. Apart from staring at Internet porn or getting the seven-year itch for greener grass in the neighbor’s yard, the root cause of the problem has to be discovered, discussed and dealt with. Things can never be the same between you and your partner again, but with a little work, it can still be good. You have to find common ground, strengthen the love that remains and support one another in every way possible.
Tips
•The best-case scenario for any type of reconciliation between two people when one has cheated are situations where the cheater admits to it. People who confess without having been caught or even suspected are unlikely to repeat their mistake. It might take a bit of prodding to discover the reason for their unfaithfulness, however, in most cases it’s because they were completely frustrated with their life.
•It’s easy to believe that the person who cheats, cheats themselves more then anyone else by losing the ability to enjoy a meaningful relationship. However, many cheaters leave ruined lives in their wake. Whether it’s innocent children who end up in a broken home or a former partner who is left emotionally destroyed. Someone else always pays for what a cheater does.
•If your partner has a history of cheating on you, and you suspect his 'remorse' is not real, don't kid yourself. He very likely has little respect for you, and are likely to continue their actions when they don't expect to get caught.
Warnings
•The worst-case scenario for reconciliation involves people who cheat for selfish reasons. Although they may justify their actions with psychobabble, habitual cheaters will emotionally destroy many partners. They break families apart and go through many other relationships before stopping or simply running out of steam. These are nightmare partners that everyone should try to recognize and take extra caution to avoid. Unfortunately, they also tend to be extremely effective at deception and appear very desirable. Not surprisingly, these people are the hardest to walk away from.

Answer 4

Cheating is like commiting treason, because, for a married couple,at least,you commit yourself to the person YOU have decided to spend the REST OF YOUR LIFE with, till DEATH do you part, so cheating not only affects and devastates the people involved, but also the people around them.
The only thing that time has to do with this situation is, it takes a long time before the hurt goes away, if at all it does.So I do not think that I would keep my marraige together if I had news like this.

Answer 5

cheating hurts. time does not heal the wound that is caused by a cheater. you may say I forgive you, and you may actually forgive the cheater, but you will always be with the person who cheated on you. they will always be the one who hurt you. if no sex is involved then they have cheated emotionally and that is just as bad if not worse to some people. if sex is involved, then the person is not just a cheater, they are a loser also. mean and selfish. hurtful and uncaring of other peoples feelings. i hope this is not you, i wish this were nobody.

Answer 6

the reason your relationship went down the tubes is because even with you pleading it is is your all, you cheated on her. become she no longer your all once you lay with somebody else? So first and better you damaged this relationship, you pleaded with your woman to take you lower back and he or she did, yet for sure issues were no longer appropriate, and her lack of self belief were given the more suitable of her and he or she left you a 2d time. yet she become no longer unfaithful to you want you've been to her, she had damaged up with you. when you're both uncertain about her, then you both bypass to the health midsection and get both yourselves checked. She ought to take a being pregnant attempt too. when you both have the all sparkling (i'm advantageous she would have the all sparkling, because some adult adult males will deliberately make hardship through retaining the condom broke). you placed an afternoon the position you ask one yet another something about the relationsiops, you both tell the utter actuality, and then once executed, and also you both want to attempt back, you both ought to make an invisible line lower than this and commence afresh.. it is the relationship element, going out and rembering why you both fell in love. You dont element out what got here about previously, you both had your probability to ask. Make out its a sparkling relationship, and that you both purely met.. and go away the previous in the back of. in case you may't, then its perfect you both separate, because the wear and tear is executed, and that i doubt it must be repaired. enable this be a lesson to you both, now to not take issues for grantide. What we assume of we've, would slip by ability of our fingers, and be lost invariably. appreciate and have self belief one yet another, it is the most important... and dont ignore to communicate. X

Answer 7

I've been in both situations. Found out during and after (months/years) It's much worse as it happening. The past isn't alot better An d I say Forgive but Don't Forget.

Answer 8

My husband..ex...had cheated on me several times. The first one cut me to the core. All the ones after that made me dead. i didn't even cry anymore. But I still rage about it even if it doesn't hurt anymore. The betrayal never goes away even if you were to forgive and heal, in my opinion. It will stay between you forever. Even if it is never brought up again. That is what I believe.

Answer 9

If he cheated once then there is no telling when he would do it again. Continuing to date a cheater does tell the person that it was ok for them to do that. Time doesn't heal it, it never goes away unless you are away from the cheater.

Answer 10

Cheating is not acceptable in a marriage.. It certainly isn't something you just forget about... I would get a divorce if that happened to me.