I love my boyfriend very muchly and we have been together for 2 and a half years now and i feel like i am ready to marry and settle down with him! but my bf thinks it is a stuipd idea i am 18 and he is 21!!!!!! i really want to spend the rest of my life with him!
2007-01-23 17:47:11 · 11 answers · asked by nikita p 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I forgot to mention i am from Australia so i am legal to marry now
2007-01-23 17:56:53 · update #1
Do not go hard on him.... Just talk to him about your true feelings when he is in a relaxed situation. Let him know how much the marrage importnat to you. If you can motivate him that way, I think you have a chance to changing his mind.
Please note that a lot of guys think that marrage make their life as a free man misarable... tell him that you would not put too much responsiblities in his hard.... (even if you going to do it later anyway!!!)
2007-01-23 17:57:17 · answer #1 · answered by MSS 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, but as you probably know already, that step takes two people stepping together. You have to take a hard look at your goals in the relationship and decide if it's worthwhile waiting for the climate to change for the better when it comes to the idea of getting married. Find out more because if he thinks things are moving too fast or that both of you are too young, then he's trying to show some responsibility. Delayed gratification is mostly a good sign. If he flat-out does not want to ever marry, then it may be time to move on.
2007-01-24 02:06:18 · answer #2 · answered by RB 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Put yourself in his shoes. Make a list of what he will actually be gaining if he marries you and what he will be loosing if he marries you. At 21, he probably doesn't want kids yet, he may already get sex without marriage, and he doesn't want to have to give half of what he makes to someone else. How does marriage benefit him? If you can find a strong benefit from his perspective, then sell him on those points.
On the other hand, are you sure you want to marry a child molester? He dated you when you were a child. What makes you think that he won't be turned on by your female children? Watch his eyes around young girls for a while. It may have been a one time thing or you might see something you don't like when you really look.
2007-01-24 03:42:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Too young. Go get on with your life. Save money & go for a trip around Australia or overseas. If you keep pushing him he will get sick of it & dump you & don't bother trying to threaten him because he is not ready to make a commitment to you. Would you have the money to have that fairy tale wedding you've always wanted, have you got that deposit saved on a house, have you both got reliable cars or have you both even got jobs.. If you were meant to spend the rest of your life with him then it will happen but not with your pushing. Do you live with each other because if you don't then you don't really know him or his bad habits & vice-versa. Sorry I also agree it is a stupid idea.
2007-01-24 07:12:33 · answer #4 · answered by Vera K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
GET A REALITY CHECK!
You are 18. Just because you are old enough to marry doesn't mean you need too. Your boyfriend is being smart here.
I know you don't believe me...but being in love doesn't mean you need to get married. Marriage is serious stuff. Learn to love yourself and your interests.
You know when you are ready to get married? When it isn't the first thing on your mind. When you say I have a great job and life....and my relationship is healthy and he is ready to marry you. That is alot of steps that you didn't mention.
Slow down. You have lots of time to grow up still. Enjoy the ride.
2007-01-24 02:27:19 · answer #5 · answered by kishoti 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is right to want to wait. You need to get some post-secondary education, move out on your own, work, see what reality is like paying bills, etc. A person grows and changes a lot in the early 20s.
2007-01-24 06:25:26 · answer #6 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well your only 18 not to be mean or anything hey you might be soul mates but you are very young why get married when you are not able to drink legal or haven't been in a real relationship with another person. he is kinda giving you a hint if he doesn't want to get married yet. he likes you but he wants to put his oats in a few more Fields before he settles with anyone
2007-01-24 01:54:49 · answer #7 · answered by rodeogirl 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well you have 2 options, stick it out till your both ready, (which highly is essential for the marriage to work), or move on...and find someone else who is. simple as that, figure out if you want to marry him or just get married, if you want to marry him, you'll wait, if you just want to get married in general, move on!
2007-01-24 11:25:23 · answer #8 · answered by ASH 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont push him. If he isn't ready you should waite til he is. If not you might end up regreting pushing him into it. Good luck
2007-01-24 02:01:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
what is your hurry? you are still a kid and don't know you have a lot of life to live before you start talking about getting married...
unless you are knocked, don't do it....
WAIT.
2007-01-24 02:21:55 · answer #10 · answered by atlas shrugged and so do i 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋