I have trouble identifying when my mother is manic and when she is normal?

Question

Hello, this may sound stupid, but I'm 18 and I have lived with my mom since I was 2. She has severe bipolar disorder, and takes many medications for it, but still can have cycles where she has been in critical state (ie in mental hospitals, showing schizophrenia (hallucinations) etc.] And even though I'm an adult technically now I still feel ultra sensitive sometimes and still never know what to expect from her. I love her very much but often she can act quite peculiar and say harsh or irrational things, and I am STILL not used to it, I don't think I ever have been. I'm an only child and my dad doesn't talk much and I have talked to a psychologist about it before (she has a psychiatrist as well) but it never seems to ever really clear up. Today she said some really hurtful things and it made me cry which made me feel uber sensitive nd weak but its hard because its hard for me to talk to ppl aout it. No one seems to want to listen. I don't know.

Answer 1

I'm 26, and I'm taking care of my bipolar mother. I know just how you feel. I used to think I was really extremely sensitive, but now I know she's extremely harsh. I made me feel, week and incompetent. Like, i thought I could be more grown up, and handle it better if I just understood what was happening with her.... Its not the case. So far, in my life it hasn't gotten any better. It still stinks. My dad left my mom after I got married, and then she didn't have anyone left but me. It is still very difficult. I know now that even realizing that she's having a manic episode doesn't actually help the episode. It still sucks trying to get though it. The only advice I can give you is to save some of yourself, for yourself... and the life you should be starting. Try therapy again. Keep going until you find a therapist who works with you. Its ok to check with several until you find one you click with. and, if possible, try to keep a solid foundation of family and support near you. It'll be ok eventually. I feel ya. Good luck.

Answer 2

It is soooo hard to be the child of somebody who is so unreliable. I know that you love her -- can see it in your message. And it must be very confusing to get such harsh and hurtful messages from your own mother.

But you know that those terrible things she says come from her disorder. In her rational state, she loves you and thinks that you are a wonderful person.

I have a person in my life who has done some of those same things, and I know that it is very hard not to take it personally.

One thing that helped was to write the things I felt about it on a bunch of eggs. I drew pictures on the eggs. And I went to a tree, and threw the eggs one by one at the tree. Then I took a hose and washed everything off, crushed the pieces of egg to little pieces so my writing and pictures couldn't be put back together. And after a few year of smashing my feelings against a tree every few months, I can now take this person "off-line" when she gets mean.

I can actually say, "I know you don't mean that!" then I kiss her on the cheek and walk into the other room. Eventually, she comes around and apologizes.

From your message, I can tell that if you allow yourself to be angry about this terrible disease, and allow yourself to get it out of your system in a creative way, you will some day be able to get through this. You have the love and self esteem and intelligence to do this.

Answer 3

I can relate to your situation. My father was bipolar, we never knew when the next bomb was going off. We all walked on egg shells trying not to upset him for fear it would trigger an event of some kind. We didn't have the luxury of a psychiatrist for any of us. I've been to one and I feel I can talk to people here on answers as well as to a doctor in an office. Feel free to write me anytime you need someone to talk to. I am not my father and when I was old enough I moved out and went home for visits. I couldn't fix things as much as I wanted to and I had to quit trying for my own sanity. You'll be fine, just know that medications are hard to regulate and get just right. Use the sites below to educate yourself and find support groups. Good Luck! I hope this helps, hang in there and remember she loves you!

Answer 4

Hello, I hope you will understand what I am about to say ina few sentences. What your mom and dad face is affecting you...your mom is tortured by her problems and cannot help it. It effects millions world wide. You need to get a grip and remind yourself that she isn't doing anything to you--you are doing it to yourself. Mom or dad or no one else for that matter can do anything to you unless you allow them to. So stop taking it all so bad and learn that the words are harsh but only words--got it??? They do not mean anything. You need to just feel bad for mom, but be supportive and start making a life for yourself. 18 years old means the freedom has come and you should take advantage of it. You are beating yourself up for no reason---or not a good one anyway---your doctor should have told you that. Mom will never be all that much better, that's a fact. She will continue to utter words and do what hurts you--that's a fact---you need to get moving and ignore all this.It is tough and I am not diminishing your issues---not minimizing your problems at all----just trying to tell you that you can get past all this and you better toughen up and get going. It is not a crime for you to move on. Good luck, my friend

Answer 5

My wife has this same problem. I guess that the best thing that I can say is don't ever sacrifice your own sanity. I know that you love your mom, but if she's ever getting too over the top, realize that you are a grown person and don't take her seriously. I know that it sucks, but usually people w/ bipolar disease don't get better. Try to help her, but if she is not able to be helped, **** her.

Answer 6

first of all it isn't person-friendly being a ascertain and it isn't person-friendly being a youngster, and it perplexing in being the ascertain of a youngster. How do all of your fights commence? Is your mom dealing with menopause? perhaps it will be advantageous to both one of you to bypass to three type of family members counseling. it type of appears like she has some anger administration themes and also you're an person-friendly target. have you ever talked for your college preparation counselor. perhaps there are things you're doing that she purely purely does no longer understand the thanks to manage. you're saying you're fourteen i become no longer allowed out previous 9:00 at that age and that i'm grateful, it wasn't till I earned it that I were given to stay out till 10:00 for sure that become purely on Friday and Saturday and my grades had to be good and that i had to do all my chores, now that i'm 36 I see what my father and mom did become for the perfect and to coach me duty and appreciate. have you ever tried purely speaking for your mom, perhaps you 2 are purely seeing element in yet otherwise and with out speaking issues out you 2 under no circumstances will. good success.

Answer 7

Here is an article I found for you about coping with bipolar. The article is from a reputable organization, The National Institute of Mental Health. http://www.medhelp.org/NIHlib/GF-100.html

You might also seek out a support group for family members of bipolar individuals. Here is one place I found that might be able to help you: http://home.comcast.net/~bipolarlife/

And here is one more interesting article that lays out the symptoms pretty clearly. http://www.cnn.com/HEALTH/library/DS/00356.html

Ok, and here is a list of possible Internet support groups for you.
http://www.bpso.org/showinfo.php?topic=support.shtml

I have a friend who is bipolar.. bipolar runs in my family, as does other types of depression and mental illness... good luck and blessings to you!

Answer 8

Living with someone like that isnt easy but u r 18 so move out.