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usually in school i don't want to speak or discuss with friends on issues that seems doesn't concern me.With my boy friend when he asks me whether i love him or not i prefer not to speak even a word rather i keep quit and look at some thing else.Due to this my boy friend get upset and some times we departed with this mood.What can i do to solve this problem,How can i improve to speak on such issues especially with my boyfriend.U know i love him but my mouth doesn't open to confess my love to him.Plz i am looking forward to your practicable Advice or your expriance on this problem.
Thank u

2007-01-23 16:45:48 · 17 answers · asked by betelehem T 1 in Family & Relationships Singles & Dating

17 answers

Hey girl...no body can tell you how to say things and when to say it except you....You've just got open your mouth and say it. Perhaps you are too reserved, is there a reason for this? Usually this kind of behaviour has a history behind it.... I don't have all the information to advise you exactly what you can do.....most people will get drunk to do this!

If you don't talk to friends much, it's understandable so don't worry about that. Settle it with your bf first....he is your piority right........You just got to tell yourself that if you don't learn to do it, you WILL loose him. But here are some tips that you can do.....

First you have to find the core of the problem......why are you so reserved? (Nobody is born that way)...... Second, you must have confidence in doing this exercise.........then try this.......do some meditation (breathing exercise with your eyes closed), this helps the nervous system to relax.......do this in a quiet room..... then see yourself as the character you are now.....think what is causing you to be this way....is it fear? insecureness?......then think of what you will be missing if you let these obstacles control you......... you control YOU and you have the power to change that.......then ask yourself what you would like to change?.......what are you lacking that you want to have?..........do it step by step....one change at the time.....for example, you'd like to be able to confess your feelings..... and if there are other areas you want to change, do that later or another day...... Meditation is a powerful excersice if you do it right and it does work..... but do this because you want to make that change and not your bf, you are doing this for you ONLY.....

Next try practising in front of the mirror, imagine that you are in your own world and that there were only two of you (with your bf) (if you'd like you could put his picture infront of you)....relax and be comfortable in that thought......think of the words you'd like to say to him first.....then open your mouth and say what you want to say ......don't worry, nobody will hear you.......try doing it as many times a day if possible.......until you see or feel a different you.......
Remember, nobody can help you there except you.....

It may take awhile before you can make the changes (depending on your faith in yourself and the exercise).......... so maybe you can send him a card first and tell him that you love him....it's a start to keep the relationship going......let him know of your problems in confessing and that you are working on it..... (who knows he might even help you out there)...........I'm sure he will understand and give you time...... good luck...... I hope this helps......

2007-01-23 17:27:53 · answer #1 · answered by Cream 2 · 0 0

U need to be honest with him before he think u dont. I have the same problem and lost alot of good friends and good relationships for that reason. What i have learned to over come this is to write and email and explain ur feelings torwards him and explain that ur writing it in an email cuz u have issues with speaking how u feel. Emails r better cuz u get to say everything you have been wanting without the confrontation. this works really well i promise

2007-01-23 16:52:16 · answer #2 · answered by Angelina A 2 · 0 0

Well, not speaking about things that don't concern you isn't really a problem...most people have a problem keeping OUT of other peoples business! And with your boyfriend, you just have to force yourself to tell him...after the first few times it'll become natural.

2007-01-23 16:51:13 · answer #3 · answered by simply.beautiful 2 · 0 0

19 or 12?

2007-01-23 16:50:00 · answer #4 · answered by Ms.Pickle 3 · 0 0

sometimes it seems like some social skills come naturally to some people and others, like yourself, are left feeling frustrated and inadequate in that area. so maybe it does come easier to others, but like anything else, you have to practice.

this may seem irrelevant to you, but as a college graduate going into the professional workplace, i had to learn to stop speaking like a college student.... saying "like" "totally" "yeah" and all that. it was tough... that was the way i spoke in my everyday life. after a lot of effort and practice, i broke myself of it and now i don't sound like i'm 14.

so you should practice. do you have things you want to say to your boyfriend or others around you? write it down, go through what you want to say in your head, maybe practice out loud. then try a little at a time with him.

2007-01-23 16:54:03 · answer #5 · answered by tara g 1 · 1 0

Hang in there kid. In time you will become more at ease with boys and better able to open up. It would happen faster if you dated a series of boys but you will make it anyway, just slower.
It helps to get together with girlfriends and compare notes and criticisms of boys. It is a sort of therapy.

2007-01-23 16:53:35 · answer #6 · answered by syrious 5 · 0 0

Try to talk more with other people, also chat about things that don't concern you. Poeple won't want to solely talk about u, why would somebody want to talk the whole day just about you?

About ur boyfriend, the next time he asks, maybe u can just hug him, n nod ur head...that's understood..

2007-01-23 16:51:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Have u tried writing to him? and giving it ot him so he can read it? That could be a start... and plus, you could be all scared to say that and then he breaks your heart? You are 19, you are old enought to be able to feel what your true feelings are! YOu need to be open with him , other wise he could leave! I mean you need to somehow let him know how you are feeling!

2007-01-23 16:50:26 · answer #8 · answered by Scorpio Girl 6 · 0 0

It sounds like you may lack self confidence try to force yourself to speak out more on little things and the big things, like telling someone you love them wil come as well. you can even explain to hi that you need to build up your confidence and perhaps he can help you do that as well. One person I know built up her confidence by talking to me and a few others on our website and eventually she carried that over into her offline life as well.

2007-01-23 16:57:07 · answer #9 · answered by Al B 7 · 0 0

At your age, you have no clue what "love" is and you insult me when you claim you and your BF of a few months are in love. I have been committed to the same person for 40+ years and know what "love" is! Sounds like he has a clue!

2016-03-28 23:49:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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