Child being bullied at daycare?

Question

I have a 3 yr old daughter that only weights 28 lbs. THere is another girl around 45 lbs constantly hitting, biting, pinching, spitting, slapping, and bullying my child. I have talked to both the mother and the daycare. with no results. It's the only daycar in town and no home child care providers have openings. What are my options as far as the law goes. we are in Texas. My husband and I both have to work!! We have entered my child in taekwondo to help her defend herself but she doesn't want to be mean. I need help.

I don't condone violence but we have tryed to get her to defend herself but she just won't. she says her teacher will get mad at her. she isn't the only child being bullied. I also work in a small salon with the mother. She thinks it's "great" her child acts like her father who is in prison. I talked to the school to see if my child might be doing something to prevoke this behavoir but they told me my child doesn't obey the other girl when she tells her who she can be friends with. FYI the mother also thinks it's funny that her child can smoke a cigerette without coughing. I need help so I don't mess up my job ( hairstylist) but my main consurn is my child.

Answer 1

I would talk to other parents in the day care. If their kids are being bullied as well you all need to stand together. It is the responsibility of the day care staff to ensure the safety of all children present. If all the parents stand up and say we want this to stop the day care staff will have to take more notice. That child should not be allowed to stay if she is endangering other children by her reckless and violent behavior. I have worked in many day care settings and any behavior like you have described, the child was sent home for the rest of the day and possibly longer. Once the mom of that bully has to stay at home with her and possibly miss work often enough maybe she won't think it's so funny. When she has to find another day care setting because they have expelled her child completely for the facility, maybe she will realize how serious it is. Talk with other parents, there is power in numbers. I wouldn't stop until something was done to make sure my child was safe.

Answer 2

You need to put the safety of your child first and figure something out. You need someone who will keep your child safe and if this daycare isn't, you need to get her out of there now. Whether you want to see it as plainly as this, your daughter is being abused. Contact other providers and ask them to let you know the moment they have an opening and explain the situation. In the meantime, do you have any friends or relatives who might be willing to take your child on. If you are honestly able to do nothing, the state might also be willing to take her on. I know that's harsh because I have to believe that if it's as bad as you say, you wouldn't have thought twice before never taking your daughter there again. Once she's out, contact the state and let them know that your daughter was abused with the knowledge and implied consent of the provider and social services will do an investigation.

Edit: Btw - for those seeing a cash bonanza in this for the parents, they didn't pull the kid out the moment they realized that it's a truly bad situation. They have not a leg to stand on in court now. For the parent, I know that people have to work. Is the mother your boss? If so, and you're not pushing it for fear of losing your livlihood you just have to accept that you're leaving your daughter in a bad situation. I know that they're only children but have you ever heard of a concept called the "One punch homicide?" Happens a lot - AND happens with children. Your daughter is outside, child punches her, she falls back and all of a sudden you no longer have a daycare problem. Again, you are either super young or it can't be as bad as you say it is.

Answer 3

You need to do what is right for your child even if it means quiting your job or relying on friends and family for a while until you find new care. If the daycare isn't doing anything about this situation then take her out. There is nothing more you can do. If you don't like how she handles situations and you feel your child is being bullied as a mother you need to take her out of the situation. You also need to realize there is usually two sides to the story this child is hitting your daughter is your daughter doing anything to her?

Answer 4

You could take serious lawsuit in that! Get a lawyer and if she does it again sew the daycar for what it shouldnt have been doing! I think the Daycare does not have enough protection for your child to learn and be safe! If not then tell your daughter to hit punch and kick that girl for equal rites! Also have a big talk with her mother tell her what kind of mom are you? Crazy? You dont take care of your child.... Just tell her that and yell at her Mom! you dont want your child to live like this forever and her elementary days could be worse! including if she is a wimp in middle school it will point out what she is for the rest of her life! Take some action into this!

Answer 5

hmmmm
there are times when i feel parental interferance can make a situation worse BUT definitely NOT in your case and infact .. we had a similiar situation when our daughter started grade school .. she was a very petite skinny little thing and many of the larger kids treated her as a little doll .. BUT most kids were careful.

There was one older child , a girl who was a down syndrome child and she didn't quite understand that our daughter was little and easily hurt.. so we went to the school and brought it to the attention of the headmaster .. I also told the headmaster that while we didn;t condone violence .. that we had instructed our daughter that she was to defend herself in any manner she felt she needed to to prevent herself from getting hurt.

Send a letter to the daycare centrethe mother and the local police department stating that you have brought the matter to the attention of the day care centre and that you will not hesitate to press charges and also sue for neglect to follow duty of care IF ANY HARM comes to your child.

I don't know Texan law .. i do have a couple of friends i can ask if you need me to ( ie if nobody comes up with the information you seek)

Good luck :)

Answer 6

what does the daycare say when you approach them?
I would think that it would be their job to keep your child safe.
I think you should talk to some of the other mothers at the daycare and see if they are having the same problem.
If they are, it would seem that the daycare should and would ask the offending child to leave.
what a shame for your daughter to have to defend herself at such a young age from a bully.
YOu should really consider changing daycares as this could have the potential to be extremely damaging to her.
p.s. I would not be surprised to learn that the offending child is abused at his home.
Call the local child protective services department and report this child's agressive behavior as he probably needs help too!

Answer 7

Hi there Trish/Jason I work in child care so I know that bullying does go on. It sounds to me as though the teachers are not doing their job if they are not dealing with the situation. As one other person mentioned it is a good thing to have a chat with The Director of the centre and if the situation is still not resolved, I suggest two things. 1) You look at other centres and find out what there polices are on this kind of thing before you enroll her and you also spend time with her before she starts so you can see for yourself how the staff and children interact with each other. 2) Here in Australia we have accderaters who come out and assess schools and if they are not up to standard they have the power to close them down. I suggest you find out if there is something similar in your area and give them a call. If Headstart is a chain there maybe a someone who you can all in there head office. Good luck with it.

Answer 8

It is against the law for the little girl to be biting your child. I would demand the other child to be banned from the daycare until she stops biting...if not, threatened to get a lawyer involved! You can also call the better business burea and let them know what is going on.

Answer 9

Sweetie, look for a licensed daycare home that takes care of children in their home. Surely you can find someone who has one. Look in the classifieds of your newspaper in services and businesses. It is a shame that she is being mistreated this way. What it is telling me is that she is not being watched properly in the first place. She could become seriously injured by this other child. It is negligible for this to be happening. I would contact CPS and ask someone there who to contact about your daughter being mistreated at the daycare.

Answer 10

i would go to school and make my child point this girl out to me and make sure, this child sees your baby point at her. then you go to the little girl and say "did you this to my "name of your baby". and then tell her " i do not want you to ever do this again to her. if you do, i will come back here to school and get you! do you understand?" make sure she says yes or nods or else repeat "do you understand!" until she nods.

then turn to the other kids and say "if she hurts her again, let me know, ok!" and give her a sharp look all the way until you get to the door! then, before you leave, turn to her and frown! that will take care of that!!!

if her mother and the teachers do not do anything.....i will certainly DO something to protect my child!

this has happened to my child when she was young. she was so tiny (and still is...lol) and very shy. she had bruises, cuts and her hair was being pulled!

no one helped her so finally i had to go to the school and caused havoc with the teacher and then did what i suggested you do to this other child. her mother never complained or anything when she found out about it. i guess, she did not want to have to meet me face to face!!!