my boyfriend lost control because we had a stupid argument about trust....and he started speeding in a drizzling night...it was very dangerous..he was yelling and saying things i didnt even know could be said...i was so scared. it go to the point of him breaking his car's windshield with his fist because he couldn't wipe the foggy windows...after that he started crying and sayinga lot os things...he just lost it! after a few moments he snapped back into reality and we satrted talking ...i had never ever been so scared in my whole life. What happened to him??? we've togetehr for 4 yrs. now...what can i do to help him besides leaving him...? help.
2007-01-23 16:34:07 · 36 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'm sorry to say this, but it sounds like he could potentially turn out to be an abusive boyfriend. It usually starts out with incidents like this and steadily escalates. For you own safety, I think that it would be best if you broke off the relationship before it gets to that point. God bless and good luck!
2007-01-31 15:31:55 · answer #1 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like there are somethings not being said here. Has he lost control like this in the past or is this the first time? If this is the first time, what in the world did you do to make him question your trust(which I presume is your fidelity?) If this is a recurring issue,then maybe you need to take a step back and see how well you two are actually communicating and work on that. With my BF, i will not continue a conversation with him if he begins to raise his voice or get a tone with me. I will tell him, "conversation over" until he can stop taking it to the level he is taking it to. Nothing ever gets resolved when people are really really angry and hollerin' at one another. Speaking to one another is how things get resolved. There is clarity in peaceful conversations even when those things aren't typically easy to talk about. I'm not at all saying to end the relationship, just work on your communication skills and before moving from topic to topic make sure each of you understands completely where the other is coming from. Validating one anothers feelings.
2007-01-31 15:07:33 · answer #2 · answered by gnuck gnuck 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hon, this guy has a serious anger problem. Is this the first time he has displayed this sort of behavior? If no then find out what the problems were that night, trust is a serious issue but it had to be something else.. If the answer is yes then you need to get away from him as quickly as possible, a violent person be it male or female is a dangerous person. Give him the option of losing you or going to anger management classes. Either way you HAVE to address this.
2007-01-31 14:33:55 · answer #3 · answered by orion 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all this guy put your life in his hands! He easily could have lost control of that car and seriously hurt you or killed you! Also, if there is no trust in your relationship that is a serious issue aswell. Four years is a along time so I can understand that you would want to see if there is a way you could work on your problems and I think unless you face these issues, with professional help they may only get worse. In the end you have to put you and your safety first.
2007-01-31 15:38:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Was that his first time? Stupid argument --> dangerous driving --> yelling and saying things you didn't know could be said (emphasis) --> so scared --> breaking car's windshield with fist --> crying --> never (ever) been so scared.
Leave him if you want to. 4 years is nothing if you spend your lifetime with him wondering if he would ever scare you like that again. Talk to him. If he would not listen, you can control him. On another note, I have never heard of anyone breaking the windshield. Seems to me that he's the kind of person who puts the blame on other people when the focus should be on him.
2007-01-23 16:43:02 · answer #5 · answered by counterculturalist 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
What is your 'Gut' saying. I am sure it's screaming at you to run, and run as fast as you can. Don't jump to conclusions about bipolar or other problems, he may just have got to the end of his thether, but do you want to risk being the wind shield next time. If you want to stay with him put some proviso's into place, tell him you are scared of what happened and that if he does not seek help then you're out. Life is much too short to be wondering if you're in the right place, if if doesn't fee right - get the hell out.
2007-01-23 16:56:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not trying to scare you but,I think it could be any number of things PLEASE BE VERY CAREFUL....sounds like steroid (roid) rage or maybe just drugs or alcohol. Bi-polar also comes to mind. Also jealousy way outta control.
Question...has he ever hit you or grabbed you and left bruises...is there a history of violence w/him.How is his jeaulosy..does he get into fights with other fellas over you? I've been that jealous guy before and have ruined alot of relationships because of it. That is a major flaw that is hard to overcome he might need therapy, but probably wouldn't go, it might be immaturity that he might outgrow but doubtful, it could be any number of things i'm not qualified to answer. But the one point that I want to stress to you is that you should realize is that if he's moody like that that means he's dangerous..to himself and to you and my advice to you is tell his parents and tell yours. Don't try to fix it alone. Assuming you're a teen. You might want to take a break and let the situation ease abit if you think it's safe to. Either way you need other people to be aware of it. Be safe and be careful!!
2007-01-23 17:02:04 · answer #7 · answered by G=ME 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him....if he is that mentally unstable...you dont need to be with a psycho...if he breaks his windshield over something stupid that is something he needs to deal with it in a less violent way...very retarted if you think about it
foggy windshield+argument about trust= broke windshield and scared girlfriend (not good end results)
2007-01-31 16:29:06 · answer #8 · answered by Oddlove 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust your instincts here. If you are scared of him then that is as good a reason as you need to leave him.
Don't worry about helping him, just look after yourself please.
Once he wakes up, & realises that he blew away a 4 year relationship with his temper then he will get help.
Then if you are still available after he gets his temper under control, he might stand a chance of winning you back. But you would do well not to wait for that to happen.
2007-01-23 16:41:15 · answer #9 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He is mentally unstable.There is nothing you can do to help him.There is something wrong with him not you.He needs to seek professional help.He is dangerous.It is only a matter of time before he turns his rage on you instead of his windshield.You should leave him.He is trying to control the relationship by verbally and mentally abusing you.
2007-01-23 17:10:52 · answer #10 · answered by noga 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋