Is it rude to say "what"?

Question

My husband does not like it that our daughter says "what?" when she does not hear something. She does this because it's how I say it. He wants her to say "excuse me, I didn't hear you." I think "what" is fine and "excuse me, I didn't hear you" is okay but not necessary and sort of fussy. I'm more casual. Is it rude?

(Our daughter is almost 3. She says "please", "thank you", and "I'm sorry" regularly.)

Answer 1

Perhaps he'd prefer: "spit the marbles outta your mouth, Mumbles!"

Answer 2

Very interesting question. I, personally, don't believe it is rude to say "what". I agree that in a perfect world, everyone would say "Pardon me, sir or madam, but could you please repeat your last sentence?" The general public, unfortunately, does not speak properly anymore. If I heard a three year old say the aforementioned alternative, I would probably end up saying "What?"!

However, I have learned that using any one phrase can be irritating to others. Point in case, my boss absolutely despises when someone says "I don't know". I have been able to avoid her lectures because I make certain that I vary my vocabulary. Typically "I'm not sure, let me check into that" works very well, but, then again, I don't make that a habit, as well. Habit is a horrible thing sometimes and I don't want any particular phrase or word to dominate my (or my son's) speech.

All in all, if I were you, I would try to explain to her (maybe as she gets a little older) that there are many ways to say one thing. At three years old, I would not give her too much grief over it, as long as she is polite in general. Eventually, she will pick up her own ways from you, your husband or the stranger walking down the street.

Answer 3

For an adult "What?" just sounds a little rough around the edges and also can be misunderstood as if one heard and disagrees. A few "Whats?" in a row makes me feel communication is definitely not worth my time.

Better to say "Pardon?" or "Excuse me?" as a question which is understood one hasnt heard. The short sentence is also polite apology.

2 or 3 "whats?" from a 2 year old?--c'mon, the kid is done listening and wants to go play!! Let her!! Obviously you like her to learn-kids learn by playing.
Not hearing is different from not understanding. Dont expect so much from her. "Excuse me?" is polite enough for the kindergarten teacher, when she gets to that milestone.

Answer 4

properly, i imagine there's a great line. it is purely because what one would evaluate a level for communicate and debate will be taken as offensive and rude to a unique man or woman. Its thoroughly subjective so i do not imagine there is any real thanks to outline it. in my opinion, i do not concepts human beings disagreeing with me or maybe retaining that i'm incorrect. What I DO concepts is at the same time as someone tries to emphasise their faith down my throat. i'm Atheist, so I also despise at the same time as i'm informed i will "burn in Hell" or something alongside those lines. common, i imagine you'll locate many distinct solutions for this question, yet i do not imagine feasible be seen appropriate over the different as a results of the undeniable fact that is so opinionated. Atheist Lilian

Answer 5

The full "excuse me, I didn't hear you" seems a bit long and tedious for informal situations. Ettiquette is fine but around the house & with friends and family we should be able to relax & be a bit less formal! May I suggest "Pardon?" "Sorry?" or " 'scuse me?" as alternatives? They're just a bit more polite than "What?" but still more brief than the full line.

Answer 6

Manners are far to underated now. There is not one thing that is wrong with being taught proper manners early in life. This includes proper responses when being addressed. You never know, your little daughter may become a very educated person. Then she may hold a job of high esteem later, and it is important to know how to address those that you meet. The english language is not being spoken properly now, and it does hurt your chances of getting a good job when going for an interview. Please re-think your views on this. Addressing the members of one's family does show respect and courtesy. There is nothing wrong with that.

Answer 7

I think it depends upon the setting and who's talking. In a casual setting with friends or close family, I usually just say "what?" and stare blankly. If I've just dozed off in class and missed the question, I try to say something more along the lines of, "I'm sorry, could you repeat that?".

Answer 8

If that bothers him from a 3 year old - by the time she is in kindergarten she will be ready for tranquilizers . Just because your husband doesn't want her to have a mind of her own , I say he is the rude one ..with obsessive compulsive tendencies . Tell your husband that it is common for toddlers to say "what" , even when they do hear you . Sometimes they latch on to words that they don't have the meaning of ; or they just like saying "what" .

Answer 9

He's coaching her for when she gets older and around other people. Saying "what" to an acquaintance or someone she doesn't know can come off as sounding rude. Have her try to be a bit more formal but explain to her why she should be doing so.

Answer 10

I think it is nice that he is teaching her verbal etiquette!
Couldn't he make it simpler like "Pardon??" I say that when I need someone to repeat a phrase. It is shorter and easier for her to remember.
I think "what??" does border on being rude, only somewhat, but it can sound really rude when the tone of voice is exasperated.
But that is my opinion, only becasue I have some moody teens living under my roof. I try to give them better words.

Answer 11

What is considered to be rather primitive. I use it myself but I also know excuse me is proper. I say teach her the proper basics and when she's older she can decide if she wants to be casual like you or more fussy like dad.