Why do guys that are your best friends want to start a relationship when they know you are already in one?

Question

I have this issue regarding the men in my life One guy is single. and the other guy is married, I myself am unhappily married. These two other guys have been very close friends of mine for years they are both hitting on me saying that hey want to be with me despite the fact I am married. The problems is I don't understand why they are doing this to me now, when for years they were fine with just being my best friends. I have never lead either of them on to think that I was going to be more than friends and now they are both mad at me for not responding they way they had wanted to. What's the deal, is it natural for guys that are good friends to eventually want more? I have yet to cheat, but I must admit that one in particular has had me thinking for the past year that he would treat me way better than my husband. I can't bare that these friends might no longer be my friends if I don't have an affair. It won't make me have one, but why do they have to become distant know? I miss them

Answer 1

as soon as you tell a single guy your arent happy with your relationship/marraige, many are shallow enough to move in and make you want to get out of that situation. have they asked you if you have tried to work things out so you can be happy? if they havent then they arent thinking of your well being and are only looking out for themselves. they need to show that want the best for you, not themselves. if they have shown that they want you to be happy with your life, with or without them, then maybe they are worth a shot. best of luck in your tough situation

Answer 2

Ok, you said that you are "unhappily married" right?
Well I guess these guys who probably always had a secret crush on you figured that you were fair game if your marriage isn't on the right track.
If your relationship with your husband isn't strong then maybe you would be susceptible to their advances.

I have female friends as well, but I don't automatically think that I will take things beyond friendship given time, or circumstances.
So I don't think it's fair to assume that all guys will try to bed every woman that they come into contact with.

I think that these guys are immature, & probably unworthy of a true friendly relationship with a woman.
This one guy who has you thinking may have you a little fooled. As soon as he saw your soft underbelly he moved in for the kill. He's a SHARK! Actually they both are.

Answer 3

relationships are like a game some you win some you lose. to them they are just playing a game cause if they were a true friend they would be helping you not hurting you. you dont gain ones friendship by saying be with me or im gone this is not high school. you are a grown women who needs to stop and think what it is that you want. ask yourself do i want to make my marriage work? what im i really unhappy about? do i really want to stay friends with people who cant except the fact that im married? is being with one of them really worth more then your marriage? you have to make the choice for yourself i wish you all the best in whatever you decide just make sure its what you want for you. think about it whos to say you pick these guys and once your divorced they leave anyways. they should have been there helping you as a friend instead they made things harder and more confusing. a friend is there no matter what if they cant handle being your friend how will they be able to handle being your boyfriend. good luck

Answer 4

I honestly think some men are attracted to unavailable women.
Also, if you are unhappy in your marriage have you tried top work it out? Do you want to work it out? I think you need to figure out first what it is that you want and take action on how you feel. I can say in my relationship many guys have hit on me and it doesnt phase me because the relationship is strong. Even guy friends hit on me but I tell them its not like that and that I am in love. Maybe you either need to work on your relationship or get out of it. The decision is yours and only you know what you want. I just dont recommend cheating. It will only make things worse.

Answer 5

youre probably a good looking girl, ad its hard for may guys to stay away from that very long, friends or not. also the fact that youve probably told them about how unhhappy your marriage is, you might be leading them to think that youre looking for something to make you happier.

Answer 6

Now they see what they are missing.