My husband and I were estranged for several years during which time I met someone and we fell in love. Divorce was in the works when my husband died. How long should I put off marriage for etiquette's sake?
2007-01-23 15:54:18 · 21 answers · asked by chrysalystic 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Thank you all so very much for your input. You've been wonderful and not a single ignorant remark out there!!! I wish I could choose you all as the best answer, but will meditate on it and choose soon. Thank you all again for your generosity in this matter.
2007-01-24 12:01:14 · update #1
Etiquette doesn't quite figure into this equation. The marriage was over in all but a technicality. You were obviously separated from your husband and living apart at the time that he died. So you need not put off your marriage at all. Congratulations to you and your fiance.
2007-01-23 17:43:16 · answer #1 · answered by old lady 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Given that you were estraged for several years your friends are all aware of the situation. Even so I would say a minimum of 6-8 months besides if your not planning yet you will need that time to get orginized. Use it to descreatly look into planning your perfect wedding. Then in a few months you will be fully ready to throw yourself into wedding mode without crossing an etiquette line.
2007-01-23 16:06:47 · answer #2 · answered by Fire's Shaddow 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you were estranged for several years and everyone knew about it then there is no need to wait except for a few weeks (out of respect). If no one knew you were married before then get married right away. No matter what if people want to talk they will talk-do what YOU feel is right for the two of YOU! Don't run your life according to what others may think!
2007-01-23 16:06:22 · answer #3 · answered by CatLady 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You were estranged several years the divorce was purely a technicality at that point. You don't need to worry about etiquette. Marry when you're ready.
2007-01-23 16:02:49 · answer #4 · answered by uknowme 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Evey situation is different. Me and my husband went thru the same thing. He and his wife had been separated, was going to get a divorce when she died. Although we waited 2 years to get married, it was because he didn't want to upset his grown children. Our preacher was trying to get us married ASAP, but he just couldn't do it. Every body is different. Do what you want. It's not as big of a thing as it use to be. Even if you did catch flack about it, it won't last long. Of course it will really look bad if you and your new husband don't last long...so make sure he's the one. Good luck.
2007-01-23 16:06:08 · answer #5 · answered by Becky F 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well, that is a very hard question. even a professional would just be guessing an appropriate time line. there are no laws for this. but in order to keep tongue's from wagging (if you care) a year is what i have heard. But really, the best thing to do is to pray about it. God will put the answer in your heart, and you will know when the time is right.
2007-01-23 16:06:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have heard One year and some say longer I would say if you were not together when he died[sorry for your loss} i would count that as time also. I myself love marriage and the institution it provides. My wife has agreed that i am dependent on that institution and has granted me the right to pursue it if something ever happen to her. i know how much i love her and would be hard pressed to be engaged within a year.
2007-01-23 16:04:40 · answer #7 · answered by kiphyn b 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would say it depends on whether or not you have children. Since you were estranged for several years, I would think that a few months would be enough.
2007-01-23 16:26:33 · answer #8 · answered by keri gee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you were not with your husband for a long while(may he RIP) I think you should use your own discretion. If children were involved talk to them about it first. Before you tie the knot. I see no reason not to set a date. HAPPY honeymoon
2007-01-23 16:39:09 · answer #9 · answered by TINKERBELLE 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
plan your marriage as though the day of his death was the day your divorce was final. If anyone doesn't like that, tough sh*t. It's your life, and with your history no one has the right to say anything at all, not even your kids.
2007-01-23 16:27:55 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋