my daughter is 3 1/2 years old and it is an all out fight to get her to go bed. i dont know what else to do. she throws stuff and screams. she is out of control.
2007-01-23 15:49:50 · 9 answers · asked by Jennifer W 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
About 3 months ago I had a similar problem with my 2 1/2 year old daughter. I caved one night b/c she got scared of something she didn't understand that was in her room and suddenly everything became scary. I bought her a nightlight that can sit in her bed with her and a brighter one that goes on her table and can be plugged in. When I finally decided it had gone on too long (it had been about 2 months) I told her that mommy wasn't going to sleep with her anymore and she had to go to bed by herself. Oh she screamed the first night and I had to take her back into her room and lay her down about 15 times before she finally gave in each time gently telling her to lay down and stay in her bed. She finally gave in and the next night I had to lay her down about 10 times, the next 8, then 5...you get the picture. Just be persistant and if you have to discipline her and tell her that she has to stay in her room in her bed and without you guys.
2007-01-23 20:36:15 · answer #1 · answered by A W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no easy way out, Sorry! She just has to get used to it! At 31/2 she can fully understand what you are telling her and she just has to learn to accept it! Yes she will scream the house down for a while but dont give in! Have a nice calming bedtime routine and then put her in! Give her a night light that she can hold{i use a battery opperated lava lamp} Tell her one of her special toys hates going to bed by themselves too and ask her to teach her toy to do it! she should also be able to grasp the idea of a simple star chart, with a special treat at the end of the week ,or even each day,the treat dose not have to cost money if you dont agree with that, it could be ...an outing, a game with mum of her choice, a special bubble bath, cooking with mum..fruit salad or fairy bread. Any thing that she would enjoy!Good luck, and stay strong mummy!!!
2007-01-24 01:08:34 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get her into a routine. I had the same problem with my boys and once I got them into a nightly routine, they started going to bed without all the fuss. I start with clean up time. We make a game out of it. It makes it less like work to them, so they actually enjoy doing it. Then they take their baths and brush their teeth. Then jammies are on, in bed and a story. One other thing that helps my boys is to make sure that TV's are off and lights are dimmed. It helps to create a quiet, serene atmosphere. I hope that this helps some and that things start becoming easier for you and your little one. My boys are 3 and almost 5 so I know all to well about those little power struggles. Good luck!!
2007-01-24 00:10:55 · answer #3 · answered by Crystal 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tie her to the bed. KIDDING!! I wish I had the answer for you...we struggle with the same thing. My 4 1/2 year old daughter kicks and screams when we won't lay with her. Most nights she's fine, but we still have our struggles. Here's what we do...
7:30 IN BED with a book or two. I read to her until 8.
8pm lights out and I lay with her for 5 minutes or less.
If she's not sleeping, I get up and tell her that me or daddy will be back after she lays alone for a little bit, but if she get up, we'll put her back in bed but won't lay with her. She might get up once, but we stand our ground. She usually stays in bed and falls asleep quickly, but we always keep our promise. If she stays in her bed for a while, one of us must go in there. If she's sleeping we give her a kiss and walk out. If she's not, we lay with her until she's asleep...which is usually quick!
Hope that helps!! Good luck and sister, you are NOT alone!!
2007-01-24 00:26:22 · answer #4 · answered by farmersdaughter 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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You have to learn how to deal with her, she cannot be expected to learn how to cope with not wanting to go to bed. You are in charge and you have to dictate how the bedtime routine goes.
When any of my kids gives us a hard time about bedtime, or anything else for that matter, they go to time out. repeated time out then they suffer some consequences like "no TV tomorrow", or "no computer for a weekend." There must be consequences.
Even at 3 1/2 years they understand what that means. We have done it with all of our kids since 18 months. It's not perfect but it does work about 95% of the time. And when we say "go to bed" they know they have ONE opportunity to get right into bed before they start losing privileges.
2007-01-27 21:04:21 · answer #5 · answered by wwhrd 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
3 is the age of screaming.
What if you told her she could fall asleep in the living room if she wants and you'll put her in her bed when you go to bed yourself (that could be a lie - you could put her in sooner than that).
Put a blanket and a pillow in front of the tv, turn the lights a little on the lower side, give her her blankie or bearsie, and let her watch a video she really loves.
They usually outgrow this type of phase, and you could make it clear to her that she can only do this for now; and one of these days she is going to have to be grown up enough to just go to bed.
When children get four or so they get more reasonable and more willing to work with you.
2007-01-24 03:08:11 · answer #6 · answered by WhiteLilac1 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Let her know your expectations so there is no surprises. Ease her into bedtime. If her bedtime is 8:00, star reminding her at 7:00 that it is bedtime soon and that you expect no fussing. Get into a good book with her, and then remind her again, bedtime soon and there will be no fussing. Lay her down, say goodnight, and remind her again...you guessed it...no fussing. Also, if she does this, reward her....maybe a new book for bedtime!
Works for me!
The one above me is not true. My first child was a nightmare, and my second an angel. It is their unique little personalities.
2007-01-24 02:01:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i would just say to lay with her till she falls asleep
2007-01-27 17:38:39 · answer #8 · answered by ellie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is she having to go to bed by herself? Don't you have a nightly "ritual"? Brush teeth , jammies, story, then lights out?
2007-01-23 23:53:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋