i need advice...?

Question

im 14. and so are all my friends . some are 15. [[girl friends]] they all weigh around 85-95 punds. and i weigh 115. thats like 15 punds more. so i need to lose weight because its not fair that they can be all beautiful and have boyfriends because boys like skinny girls and that isnt me. and they like the tiny girls who they can pick up and not the kind that are big as them or whatever. and i never thought i was fat until the last few months. now i hate everythign about myself. my face, my body everything. everyday i find more and more things i hate. my body is growing massivly fatter every day and i dont know what to do. anorexia has crossed my mind but i don'tr want to die. i just want to be pretty. but if mayeb i can just get skinny then i can start eating again. i dont know.

Answer 1

85-95 lbs is an abnormally low weight, unless of course they're shorter than 5 feet tall. 115lbs is even a slightly below average weight for a 14 year old girl (depending on your height, i could be wrong)..but anyway...You need to stop being so hard on yourself...and realize that these boys you want to be with are simply little boys. You really want to be in a relationship solely based on the fact that you look like a stick figure? They are obviously not worth your time if they are being so superficial...please stop with this superficiality nonsense, and understand that in a few years, you will hopefully have a whole new outlook on love/relationships/body image, and realize that the women in the magazines you read, are not real women. Real men don't want stick-figures, they want a real woman. Curvy is sexy my dear, don't forget it. And most of all, it's whats in your head and heart that matters the most. The most beautiful woman is the one with the beautiful mind.

Answer 2

I'm 15 and I weigh 140+ last time I've checked. I have worked out a lot since then and lost a few sizes so I don't weigh that much anymore. Don't change yourself for others. Do it because you want to. Boys shouldn't like you for your body anyway.

Answer 3

im anorexic too and yea, i hate more and more things on my body everyday but the only way that you can forget everything about your body. and once you have anorexia you will be recovering for the rest of your life and you will not be able to be the way you were before ever again. you have to go in the mirror and think that your thighs as as thin as twigs and your arms are skinnier than your fingers and your ribs are too out there.

Answer 4

i guess that would depend on how tall you are.? why are you comparing yourself to them at the wight my guess is they are underweight and un healthy but without knowing all your heights it is hard to tell. quit going by a number if your Friends are a lot shorter than you and weight less then they should but don't become unhealthy because of a number.

Answer 5

Take a breath and relax. Now make yourself a sandwich because this is a lengthy response.

Okay, I very much doubt that you are fat, even if you are gaining fat. When girls hit your age they start putting fat on their bodies in their breasts, hips, and thighs. That's a sign of a healthy body. And believe me, in the long run men prefer a woman with curves, not the stick-ones. So your body may just be developing faster than your friends'.

Do not stop eating. The human body needs at least 1000 calories a day just to maintain equilibrium. If you eat less than that your body will actually hold onto to fat. A grown woman has about 12-16% body fat. Much less than that and it starts to affect your health. Your body is trying to get to that point.

The thing to do is not to focus on losing weight. Hit the gym and start to tone your muscles. Someone there should also be able to evaluate your health and BMI (fat-to-muscle ratio). Your goal is to add muscle tone. A body with muscle tone looks better than a body that is just skinny. In order to gain muscle you need to eat at least 1200 calories a day, less than that and your body will store the calories as fat instead of using them to build muscle. With a teenage metabolism it will happen pretty quickly.

If you aren't a member of a gym, pick up a copy of the 'body-sculpting bible for women' it has lots of great exercises to do with freeweights and a great nutrition guideline for building muscle and burning fat. A YMCA membership shouldn't cost you that much and they'll show you how to use all the equipment.

Working out will make you feel great about your body. Seeing all the great things your arms and legs can do is a great ego boost. (My legs are bigger than my boyfriend's but they let me climb mountains and rocks, leg press twice as much as he can (without trying!), hike five miles without a break - I love them). Working out also produces endorphins which are your body's natural 'feel-good' drug (keep your heart rate in the cardio-zone for more than twenty minutes and they'll kick in). Taking up a sport you enjoy will give you buddies to workout with.

Remember in all this working out that muscle weighs more than fat, but takes less room (like iron versus feathers). So don't focus on what the scale says, listen to how your body feels and how it looks.

If you're not happy with your face you can go to the mall and get a free facial from one of the makeup counters. They'll show you how to apply the makeup and give you a new look. (Buy an eyeshadow or something to make up for their time, otherwise its cheaper to get your makeup from the drugstore). A hair-stylist can also help (I have a big forehead, I get my hair cut to disguise this fact). The right haircut can make your features look better.

You can get clothes that accentuate the parts of the body that you like. Have great calves? Get a flirty skirt that hits just under your knees. Like your neck and collarbone? Boat-neck collar. Did the fat you're gaining settle in your breasts? Count yourself among the lucky and get some flattering tops. Nice tummy? Then let that midriff peak out every now and then. Do you have a great smile? Emphasize your lips. You get the idea. Even if all you like right now is your hair, leave it loose and show it off.

Practice being happy with the way you look. Most girls have a lot of practice being negative about their bodies (and their friends are only too willing to help). Be bound and determined to be happy about yours. Look in the mirror occasionally and like what you see. Say out loud 'Damn I am hot stuff! Who in their right mind wouldn't want some of this?" Again, even if all you like is your hair, toss it around and admire how it looks.

In all of this don't forget that the sexiest parts of a girl are a brain and her personality. Cultivate educated opinions about the world around you and develop a great sense of humor. Guys like a girl that has a sense of humor. Most importantly, confidence. Even a really big girl can be sexy if she has confidence in herself and is comfortable in her body.

Does any of this guarantee that you'll get a boyfriend? I wish it did sweetie. But it will make you healthier and more confident. And I guarantee you'll be pretty (and sexy too when you're old enough ;P ). Not all boys want to date a stick, those that don't will know where to find you.

I hope this helps

Answer 6

Skinny doesn't make you pretty. If you think your looks are all that matter you need to seek help. See a guidance person at your school.

Answer 7

You have not mentioned your height which is very essential to evaluate weight.