me and this guy dated for 2 yrs.it was problematic in the beginning but talking helped.we still argued sometimes,but rarely.we'd met eachother's parents/friends and were serious.then he mentioned marriage but i wasn't ready.i got a bit scared and dumped him over the phone/refused to see him for 5 months.our mutual friends told me that he was heartbroken.i didn't date anyone during this time bc my heart was set on him.we tried to make it work again,but i have a habit of dumping him everytime he psses me off.one day i dumped him and this time he refused to get back together.we both dated other people,and he started a relationship with a new girl.i realized what i'd lost and tried to get him back but he was intent on this new relationship.he continued to call/see me though,and would tell me that he still had feelings for me but wanted to make it work with that new girl.it confused/hurt me.then she dumped him and he came back to me.we never fight anymore and he's sweeter than ever. ADVICE?
2007-01-23 15:21:41 · 13 answers · asked by vachel 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I don't know what you need here. He is sweeter than before, and it sounds like you got another chance. My advice to you is if you really want to be with him...don't blow it. Learn to work things out when he gets you upset. Just don't dump him and run anymore. Obviously you two have a strong connection if he is back and you wanted him back. Make it work this time. Work on your communication together and learn to treat him as well as you want to be treated. Good luck. :)
2007-01-23 15:29:30 · answer #1 · answered by kalea_kane 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you could take your mind off the other girl and concentrate on how you feel about him, the answer to your confusion will come.
You, by your own words, are not ready for commitment.
You managed to not see him for five months. Every time you both get back together you find a reason to call it quits.
The message you are giving yourself?
It's time to move on but saying good-bye is painful-much easier to avoid that pain and stay in the same cycle of taking back and rejecting again. Easier -but not fair to either of you.
Accept the pain and learn from it. Be kind to yourself -your future will be better.
Do not rush into another relationship just to fill a lonely void. Promise yourself time alone to assess what you want and need to be fulfilled as a person.
Good luck!
2007-01-23 15:45:45 · answer #2 · answered by debisbooked 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There's a saying, "when you love somebody, let him/her go.. and if he/she return to you, then he/she is your true love". There's another, "love is like butterflies, when you try to catch it, it'll fly away from you". Well in your case, you dated this dude for 2 years! Long enough for both of you to really know each other. Don't you feel it's a waste to dump him.. over some silly matters?! My advise to you, drop you ego. Don't be an ego-maniac! Listen to him sometimes and accept him for who he is. Now that you win him back (after you and him dated with other people), how about try to spend some time together, talk to each other, LISTEN to him and express your feelings. Build a better relationship this time. Good luck!
2007-01-23 15:35:39 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've been given a second chance with this guy, don't blow it like you did the first time! I can't blame him for wanting to work it out with someone else if you dump him every time he gets you mad. Learn to talk things out with him...he sounds like a very sweet guy (not all guys would have cared enough to try and call/see you through a break-up) don't be so insecure. Don't compare yourself to past girlfriends...you'll drive yourself crazy doing that. If you can't do it on your own, or with his help...seek professional help (I'm not saying that in a mean way, I'm serious.) Good Luck.
2007-01-23 15:30:56 · answer #4 · answered by little_chipmunk 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him about her and even if he says she is not better than you. Try to see what he liked about her and see if it is something your not. That will bear the truth for sure!
And a little advice for NOW, now that your back with him. Dont just dump him whenever you feel like it because me and my ex where together for 4 years and he kissed my *** I knew I had him tied around my finger and one day I did that and stopped answering his calls for like 2-3 weeks and he was thru with me. He was tired of dealing with my attitude and anytime break-ups. We still talk (as friends) but I still love him and I dont think he will ever see me the same again =(
2007-01-23 15:31:11 · answer #5 · answered by Motivation.Inspiration 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whatever the case, DON'T pay attention to any other people he has dated, that just distracts you from paying attention to the very thing you need to really pay attention to: YOUR relationship with HIM. Plus, I hope that you are really serious and honest with yourself about him! Is this the man you really want to be with? And hopefully you won't dump him anymore everytime he pisses you off.. .it seems like things are going better for you now, if this is so then just shrug off your insecurities about the relationship and hang in there! But trust your instincts... if you feel like you aren't first place... well.. you know what to do!
2007-01-23 15:27:45 · answer #6 · answered by purringout 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What more do you want? He's with you. I'm sure he was trying to work it out, because he's not the kind of person that just leaves, Ahem! Its seems to me that you love each other, weird relationship, bu you do. Don't break his heart again, it could only take so much.
2007-01-23 15:34:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go ahead. Your relationship has stood the test of time.
2007-01-23 15:27:00 · answer #8 · answered by Traveller 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me look into my crystal ball...you all will keep going this way without a lot of counselling. Please sit down and talk to a professional. Look forward and don't look back, girlie.
2007-01-23 15:26:43 · answer #9 · answered by Sleek 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he came back to you...then you're obviously better...i don't know what you're worried about. you should just be happy and appreciate your relationship while you have it.
2007-01-23 15:25:29 · answer #10 · answered by K8tgry 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋