My boyfriend is 20.
I am 19.
My dad has a terminal illness (ALS) so my college is completely paid for... I am going to school to be a teacher, and my life is pretty much set for me.
My boyfriend on the other hand, doesnt have that luxury. He never really met his dad, and he is stuck doing blue collar jobs and working hard everyday just to get by.
We've been through alot together. So many ups and downs but I love him more than anything and I know he loves me. The thing is, hes always on the verge of a breakdown. I have to CONSTANTLY be happy just to keep him happy. Sometimes life brings me down and if I let it show, then he will snap and breakdown even harder. And I am expected to bring him up. I dont mind, but sometimes I need someone there for me... and I dont know how to bring him up.
Sometimes it makes me feel like Im not good enough when he has continual breakdowns, like I dont make him happy. He says its just life, but what should I do?
2007-01-23 14:44:11 · 5 answers · asked by yourguardianangel88 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He eventually calms down and seems to be satisfied, but only after a long time of hugging him while being pushed away (emotionally). Everytime I try to bring him up he bashes down everything I say I do, and it makes me life ten times harder. I love him soo much though.
2007-01-23 14:45:47 · update #1
To the person who said I dont love him ebcause it wouldnt be a problem
ummm if i didnt love him it wouldnt be bothered by the fact hes unhappy.... so its the opposite buddy
2007-01-23 14:54:07 · update #2
I was in this situation with my ex-boyfriend. We found out that he had a lot of hurt from his past that he never got over. For this reason, he was taking it out on me. He eventually went to counseling and it helped a lot! When he had somebody else to confide in and to help bring him up we were able to enjoy our relationship.
I would strongly suggest talking to your guy about finding a counselor. There are a lot of places that will do this for little or no cost, for example, your local church (Some churches don't even require you to attend)
Good luck!
2007-01-23 14:51:42 · answer #1 · answered by Mrs. Murphy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were you, I'd give him an ultimatum - admit you have a problem and seek therapy or I'm leaving....
Sounds like he had a rough childhood, and it's not his fault, but he's probably just depressed... He should see a trained therapist... maybe even be on anti depressants for awhile. If he doesn't have insurance, there are groups that offer counseling on a sliding scale to accomodate low income situations.
As for his job situation... well, let's say his moods start improving... you have to either decide that you are happy having a partner who is a blue collar worker, but works hard or not... personally, as long as he's a decent person, I don't think that should be an issue...
But, if his moods do improve, maybe he can go back to school... I'm sure since he only has one parent he will qualify for a lot of financial aid...
Good luck to the both of you!!!
2007-01-23 14:50:25 · answer #2 · answered by Tiff 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie-this guy is bringing you down. You cannot fix his mental problems and you shouldn't have to continually rescue and be happy for your partner. It should be mutual. I know this is hard but my advice is to break up and keep on with your life and plans to become a teacher. This man is a drain on your energy and your time. I am sorry, but that is the hard truth.
2007-01-23 14:50:53 · answer #3 · answered by doryanne949 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To put it bluntly, you need to move on regardless of anything you have experienced so far.
2007-01-23 14:49:05 · answer #4 · answered by kicking_back 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you don't love him "sooo much" because if you did, you wouldn't be posting it as a problem.
2007-01-23 14:49:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋