I am SO hurt by this, it brings tears to my eyes just thinking of my little boy being picked on..I don't know why? maybe because he's shy, I got picked on in school when I was young too, and I was so hoping that this wouldnt happen to my kids. Is there anything I can do to help him? what can I do to keep his self esteem good? he's so shy!
2007-01-23 14:35:05 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
my daughter is 7, but when she was in first grade, she started getting picked on, i told her teacher, and then i started hanging out at the school. i ate lunch with her a few times,talked to the kids that was bulling her,and i started bringing cool snacks, and then i had a heck of a party for her, and it was not even her birthday. i know it sounds like bribery, but it seemed to work.
2007-01-23 14:52:40 · answer #1 · answered by kesha f 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First thing report it to his teacher and the principal of the school. DEMAND they do something about this, and if something isn't done go to the schoolboard.
Worse comes to worse lay charges.
As for his self-esteem explain to him that many great actors and musicians , great thinkers were shy. Shyness can be inheirited and since you were also shy as a child and probably still are as an adult, you transfered those patterns on to your son.
Help him to gain confidence and success in something, whether it's playing an instrument, excelling at drama or sports. Self-esteem is built on accomplishment and feeling proud of that.
Encourage him to offer his opinion on things, his opinion is just as good as anyone else's.
If he continues with being shy, find him a shyness clinic to help him learn tricks to combat his shyness.
2007-01-23 22:47:29 · answer #2 · answered by Lizzy-tish 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would recommend a self defense class. It really depends on who, how many, and why he is being picked on, before you can decide if changing schools is necessary. It also determines if it would be wise to contact the parents of the bullies. I think along with a self defense class, taking on a sport or activity would be helpful. Lastly, role playing could help him with what to do and fast responses. Good luck to you and him.
2007-01-23 22:55:31 · answer #3 · answered by aprildin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, of course I say...put him in martial arts...but, if that is not an option...role play situations with him...he will be uncomfortable, but eventually that will go away. During the role plays, you are the bully and he needs to respond to your bullying with confident statements. You give him the confident statements...and do it every day. Do this in front of the whole family. That will make it more uncomfortable, but this is what you want. If he can do this uncomfortably at home...he can deal with the uncomfortablness of real bullys.
I don't advocate for fighting, but if he is in a situation in which situations are becoming physical, he may need to be told to fight back. He will need to understand that he will probably get in trouble for it, but sometimes being in a fight and hitting back can build more confidence than anything. Sometimes kids are bullied because they are so afraid of something becoming physical that they don't stand up for themselves. Being in a fight may help him see that he can handle it and survive it, which will in turn make him less afraid to stand up for himself. (even if he loses the fight. It is the idea that is scary...not necessarily the fight.) Again, I am not advocating for fighting, and I always tell kids that they should only be putting their hands on someone if they have no other choice. They also need to know there might be some consequences for this.
This tip may seem silly, but this also goes with the role playing idea...have him wake up and do some push ups and crunches...everyday. Cheer him on when he does them and keep having them increase the amount...as he can. Keep praising his success with this...no matter how silly that seems. This is another confidence builder.
Finally, if he is not having social experiences with children outside of school, you may need to make this happen. (Karate class would be great!) He may need to develop some social skills...only way for him to do that is to be in social situations.
Also...remember to love him and make sure he knows how wonderful he is. Not babying type of love, but...I am so glad you are my son, and you are so great type of love. Also, you may need to work on the confidence you let off. When you hear about the bullying, you want to cry and it brings up bad memories for you. Trust me when I say that he is picking up on that. Fake it if you need to. When he tells you a story, respond in such a way that you aren't sad for him, but waiting to hear what he is gonna do about this situation...especially because "he is such a strong wonderful individual that no one should be messing with." (that must be the opinion he picks up on from you. Confidence building starts at home.
Good luck!
2007-01-23 22:59:06 · answer #4 · answered by eyellnevrtell 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would put your son into tae-kwon-do. It has worked wonders with my daughter. I have also told my daughter (who was bullied) to try and be friends with her bully. Turns out her bully was just an unhappy overweight kid that didn't really fit in. So I encouraged my daughter to strike up a friendship by first sharing recess treats and taking in small toys that they could play with together. It worked! The bully went on to become one of my daughters good friends.
2007-01-24 10:15:42 · answer #5 · answered by Calista77 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is it your 4 year-old? Is he in a public headstart program, a private preschool, or a daycare? Talk to the person in charge of the class. If it is a private school or daycare, then switch schools. If he is shy, try enrolling him in extra classes or taking him to Sunday school to interact with more kids. Good Luck!
2007-01-23 22:52:33 · answer #6 · answered by steffers4979 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
most schools have HUGE anti-bullying programs. Let his teacher know he's being picked on.
Also, make sure he understand that kids are sometimes mean little boogers. I put mine in tae kwon do and it gave her all the self confidence she needed. :)
2007-01-23 22:44:44 · answer #7 · answered by BarbieGurl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I put my son in karate and now he has great self esteem. He can also defend himself now. They teach self respect and discipline. He also knows he may not misuse his karate. Wow what a great improvement in his attitude.
2007-01-23 23:07:56 · answer #8 · answered by kimmie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well there picking on him becuase they have SOMETHING to hide to so LOLOLOLOL screw them id go tell them off if i was you that is just cruel to see a little boy specially harm less to get picked on i was the same but with me the kids tryied to fight me but thats when my bro helped me out he had to fight them.
2007-01-24 00:42:16 · answer #9 · answered by Chris 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sign him up for karate lessons but before you do that give him a great big hug and kiss.
2007-01-23 22:57:11 · answer #10 · answered by daryavaush 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋