my girlfriend is 19 years old and she has a 2 year old son. I love my girlfriend more than anything, weve been dating for almost a year and a half now. Her son is so irritating though. Everytime she puts him down he cries. Hes constantly getting in our bed at night and laying on top of me which wakes me up. He always wants to be on my lap or something. I didnt really hate him until the other day when he called me daddy. It sounds sweet but it disgusted me !!!! We cant even have sex anymore without him interupting us !! I dont know what to do about it what do you think ?
2007-01-23 14:32:00 · 46 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well you'll either have to get over it and except him or move on...One thing you must take into consideration when you date someone with children is that you are not only making your gf/bf a part of your life but also their children eventually. If you plan on being with her get used to it that's just life when you have children!
2007-01-23 14:37:53 · answer #1 · answered by LuLu 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you know the answer as well as I do. Do you think she should put him in the garage??? NO--it would be stupid. You are going with a mother---a team--and you need to tolerate what the team does. Some guys would love it---some guys --like you---can't put up with it. The boy wont be 2 forever. Try waiting and being a nice guy. You need to show a little in the way of image here. The boy can use a figure that will help him develop. You were 2 at one time --and did all the same stuff---come on, have some fun---tire him out and maybe he'll sleep better. Do not push him away--children do not understand rejection---they usually grow to turn the negativity into really bad behavior later on--then you'll be really sorry. Be a nice guy---hire a baby sitter and take mom out once in a while. The only other choice is to move on...but that will really show her it was only about sex--not about you respecting and caring for her and her baby. Man, do the right thing.
2007-01-23 14:42:45 · answer #2 · answered by fire_inur_eyes 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude,First of all the little boy is only 2. I have a son who is 4 and a little girl who is 2 and yea it is hard, But for you to say you hate someone who is so young and has no idea what he is doing. And for him to call you daddy that must mean he feels really close to you and that is better then any matreail thing in this world. I don't want to seem like I 'm really getting all in your bizz or you in mine. But I am married and before I got with my husben I already had a son from another man I was 16 when I got pregnet with my boy. Well then I got with my husbend now and this may sound really messed up but my husben now has been in my sons life as much as I have my aunt raised him from 3 months untill he was 18 months well any my point is that my son calls my husbend daddy and let me tell you they are so close I love it. His real dad is not around a whole lot and they have a song together it is by rodney adkins watching you it is a country song you should check it out. Another thing is my son knows to stay in his own bed also my 2 year old does to, onthat I can feel you, I don't like that either. the only time my kids get in the bed with us is if they are sick that is it so yes he should sleep in his own bed. And really that is my fav. time is when I cuddle alone no kids no nothing bothring us at night when we go to sleep. well I hope that you will get close with the little boy beause when he grows up and gets out of shool its you his daddy by heart that gets to enjoy knowing you played a really big part in him becomeing someone so smart. I will keep you in my prayers. And one more thing I'm only 22 and my husbend is 32 we have been married seince april 15 and we always talk to each other so i think that you should let your ol'lady know that you don't like the little one in the bed w/ you guys at night, ( i feel you on that one so does my husbend. one more thing you need tell tell your girlfriend tht she needs to stop spoiling him. He's 2 and if you put him down he cries thats not good. She need to put her foot down. sorry I am not trying to be mean.
2016-05-24 02:51:45 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you say you love your girlfriend more than anything? well her son is part of her, so hopefully you two are going to be able to talk this issue through. Good communication is the key here. You really have to talk about the part where he is calling you Daddy i would probably freak if someones kid called me mommy in the early stages of a relationship. Some guys take it as a compliment but to me its a worry. You dont say anything about the whereabouts of the real dad and his relationship with his son. Im assuming its non existant. I would talk to your girlfriend and explain the situation to her. Tell her that it makes you uncomfortable for him to call you Dad at this stage. It might offend her a little but its not like you are the childs Dad. I dont think that you should be dragged in as a replacement father unless you want to be.
2007-01-23 14:42:29 · answer #4 · answered by angelbaby777au 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
19, and a 2 year old son, aren't you getting into more than you can handle right now?
never mind that.
No, it's normal that you can become to hate him. I would. Geez.
I really don't have asolution to this problem.
Talk to your girlfriend, and try to spoil her with some private time. Organize it well. get a babysitter, etc. etc., and give very tiny subtle hints that you would prefer more private time with her.
She's probably delighted that her son likes you so much, but I seriously doubt that this thing could work out for you, considering that you can't stand her son.
Maybe you just like the sex? I'm not looking to upset you, but think about it.
It is possible that you love her, truly love her, but then you have to learn to love her son.
Good luck.
2007-01-23 14:37:27 · answer #5 · answered by Nicole 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are in the wrong realationship with the wrong person!!! If your girlfriend is as wonderful as all that you see her, she would be appalled to hear what you say. She's his mother and to keep yourself in this relationship is wrong of you. As a mother myself, I would never allow someoe to be apart of my life if they couldn't accept my kids!! No one should EVER hate a two year old. Here he is reaching out to you and your claiming to hate him?! That is something that a child would say. If his actions are a problem for you, be a man and deal with it.Talk to your girlfriend about it. Let her know that it's a problem for you. This little boy is still a baby and he doesn't know any better. You seem to still be a kid yourself and the thought of being called "daddy", understandibly, scares you. If this is something that you can't get over then maybe you need to remove yourself from their small family. If you don't understand any of this then it is obvious that you are not ready for a relationship that includes a small child. Be upset with what I've said here but know that staying in this relationship is unfair to that little boy. Try not to be so selfish.
2007-01-23 14:48:09 · answer #6 · answered by ionwheels03 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know, I don't think you love her as much as you claim. She is a package deal - or at least if she is a good mom she is. I would strongly suggest moving on and let this girl find someone who is going to love her and her son. They deserve someone who will give them unconditional love and you deserve the same. Like it or not "daddy" is the role in which you are taking in the eyes of this child and more so than not the eyes of his mother as well.
Move on - resentment only grows stronger! Good luck with your decision!
2007-01-23 14:43:06 · answer #7 · answered by Dancer01 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is 2, and you have been with her for 1 1/2 years, then for all practical purposes, you are "Daddy"
You are the only male father figure in his life.
As I see it you have the opportunity to Love him and influence his life. He obviously loves you, or he wouldn't want to be climbing or sleeping on you.
If you stay with her & "hate" (as you say), him. Your life will be miserable. She will eventually see it, and you will lose her anyway.
I will be praying for you on this.
Personally, I hope that you Love him as your own.
If a woman has kids, they are part of the package.
Option #1: Love her, Love him, make a good life.
Option #2: Find a woman that has no children.
2007-01-23 14:51:25 · answer #8 · answered by Elmot 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel that if your relationship is serious with your girlfriend and her son (like it or not) you are going to have to talk to her about some of these issues with her son, explain to her that if the child is going to call you daddy and if you live with her, you need to have more input into how the child is being brought up.
For example you need to explain to your girlfriend that you find it no longer acceptable that at 2 years old he is sleeping with you and interupting your sleeping and intimacy, that when she puts him down not to give in to his cries.
More or less i believe that you need to have a more active role in the parenting of the child, mabye if you have more input you will feel as if you are achieving something with the child as his role model as it sounds like the child loves you, hopefully your relationship with the child will be as fullfilling as with his mother.
Good luck
2007-01-23 14:41:02 · answer #9 · answered by crystal_land 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah, I'm sure it's a challenge to be dealing with your girlfriend's child with someone else. for the sake of the child, act as if you like him and care about him, and I have heard that your behavior can even change your real feelings. If you choose to date someone with a kid, you have to accept that the kid is part of the deal. Is there a way his grandparents or another relative or responsible babysitter could watch him sometimes so you and your gf can have some time alone together?
2007-01-23 14:39:20 · answer #10 · answered by learning_to_live_616 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋