My children's father died one year ago today, in Iraq.
How can I mend my heart?
2007-01-23 14:13:57 · 12 answers · asked by AuroraBorealis 4 in Health ➔ Mental Health
we weren't married. I was hopping he would propose when he came back.
2007-01-23 14:22:31 · update #1
Celebrate his life. Get with a few close friends and have a small party to celebrate his life.
2007-01-23 14:22:57 · answer #1 · answered by Angel 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry for your lost. Thank you for the sacrifice your family has made. At the one year anniversary of a death most people relive the pain all over again. Even as wounded as your are- you will slowly but surely heal. I know that isn't much comfort when you are suffering. You may want to see if you need an antidepressant. Exercise helps to make the depression a little more tolerable. I will pray for you and your family--that is the least of what we can do for you.Thank you again--I know you sure didn't plan on that kind of a sacrifice.
2007-01-23 15:49:46 · answer #2 · answered by smiley 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I lost my childrens father when I was 20. I was pregnant when he died (had a 5 month old and a 3 yr old at the 1 year anniv). I can understand the pain and deep sense of loss. Don't worry about actively trying to mend your heart. It will mend in time.
If you would like to chat you may email or IM me anytime.
2007-01-23 14:52:40 · answer #3 · answered by spiritualjourneyseeker 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi, welcome to the end of your "firsts" I am sorry for your loss, I too lost my spouse, it has been 5 yrs this past Xmas. The first year is always the most difficult because everything is a "first" without that person. Don't get me wrong it does not get any less difficult to face,just easier to make it to the end of the day. that's all you have to do, get to the end of the day. When ever my kids miss their mother we will go to the cemetery and we will usually pick up a couple of balloons to take with us, when they feel they are ready they whisper a little message into the balloon and let it go, we don't move our eyes until we can no longer see them. The balloons carry their message to "mom", in your case maybe they will feel better sending their dad a message.
A broken heart can mend, it takes time, a lot of it, but everybody is different, time does not always heal a wound.
You can move forward, don't let anyone tell you to "move on" it can't be done, it should never be done, always save a place, a memory and never let them forget their father.
I hope you can move forward someday, but for now, make it a special day, for your kids, do something he loved to do with them and cherish the memory although sadness may overtake you,try to be happy for the gifts he has given to you, children to remember him by.
God Bless.
2007-01-23 15:02:10 · answer #4 · answered by rckdrmr84 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is no way to completely mend your heart, although I'm sure you wish you could. If there was a cure, I'm sure whoever thought of it would be mighty rich! Just try to remember all of the good times you and he had together. Look at pictures with your children, and don't let them forget what a wonderful father he was. The secret is letting go, but never forgetting. I hope that helps just a little bit.
2007-01-23 14:20:16 · answer #5 · answered by collegeboundblonde1287 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry for the loss of your husband. I dont think that you will ever get over this. But you could go on with your life and you should for the sake of your children. I am sure that your husband would want you to be happy and move on. Why dont you take the kids out and plant a tree in his honor or do something else like release balloons. Just something to do with the kids to make a tradition for remembering thier father. Good luck.
2007-01-23 14:20:45 · answer #6 · answered by mom of twins 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well the only way that I know that you can is to Look to God Ask Jesus to help you heal your heart for you for he can do that for nothing is to big nor too small for him for he can do anything good for any person no matter who they are and He died for a good cause we have done alot of good things over there They don't Show it on TV but most of the people that don't want to die just to die to kill other people so they think they will please there god Allah Are Really Saying Thank You to US Americans that are over there Yes they are saying Thank you for Coming and Making this a Safer Place to Live
2007-01-23 16:02:59 · answer #7 · answered by djm21jd 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry for your pain...and your children's pain...It might be nice for you and the kids to plant a memorial tree. I know the love of the Lord has helped me heal in ways that I didn't think was possible. Be Blessed.
2007-01-23 14:20:11 · answer #8 · answered by ticklemeblue 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You always have to remember that he's always w/ you in your heart.You are able to see him every time you look at the children you made together,also talking about him to your children is like emotional therapy,I lost my mother before I had children,but I always tell them about her what she was like,things she liked and so on,and it always make my heart feel a little bit better!
2007-01-23 14:19:19 · answer #9 · answered by molliehollie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
After reading through everyones comments I totally agree with Angel, celebrate this life! like the irish do for having a wake, they really do help celebrate him as a man not how he died but his life
2007-01-23 20:23:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋