How far should you go when asking your best friend about thing? My friend has become frustrated with everything, especially work and his lack of a girlfriend etc. i think he knows that he can talk to me about anything, and mostly he does. But he's so vague that i feel like i have to drag the information of him. i feel like a shrink (how do you feel about that?...blah) i asked him if i was prying, and he said yes, but its good (?) Because nobody else does. Its kinda getting awkward though haha and i don't want to ask him something that i don't want to know... If you could help me with what to say, he needs to talk but i'm not the best 'interveiwer' in the world! What's a good way to just make it all conversational? Thanks.
2007-01-23 14:05:14 · 11 answers · asked by sudoku_crazed 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Try short leading questions that get him talking. Say things like "Really... so how did that go?", "Tell me what you're thinking", "What happened then?". Try to get him thinking about things and working them out aloud. But don't harp and don't try to run the show. Remember that it still is his life and he has to decide what to do with it. Meanwhile, you asked and he answered that it was ok to "pry" but try to resist.
2007-01-23 14:15:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it depends on the reason your asking. My friend was in a little argument with a girl at our school and the next day she was in a car accident. He spent the entire week in another city in the hospital waiting room (because it was family only for a while, then as she got better they were allowed a few minutes to visit) and i called him and called him because i was worried about him but in the back ground i could hear him tell his mom (she answered and i asked for him) "Tell herim gone or something, i dont want to talke to anyone" and it hurt... because we talk about everything... and then the girl died suddenly (she had been getting better and was awake and aware and suddenly she crashed and died from her brain injuries) he stopped talking, he's never grieved.. not at all.. but he's better now.. but newayz, when she died i couldn't get him to speak to me at all.. i was afraid because i know he wasn't talking to his friends because his best friend is her older brother, and his other friends aren't as close to him and he doesnt' talk about stuff to them (some male thing..?) and he looked just.. out of it,... for a while...
I gave him space. I realized it wouldn't make matters any better to pry, so i left him alone and he's alright now.
SO it depends on the sort of questions your asking him.. if its prying because you feel its a matter that NEEDS to be adressed, go for it.. but if not... maybe you should let it go.
2007-01-23 14:18:13 · answer #2 · answered by janna w 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try talking about yourself some-but don't make him deaf. If there's anything similar to his situation, mention it, and how you feel, but don't give him too much info! Because if he wants to know more, then you
1) could "trade" info
2) just tell him, and then ask about him
He might feel uncomfortable talking about it, but trust me, he WANTS TO SPILL. It's probably a little embarrassing...especially if he was dumped. But you're on the right track! Keep doing what you're doing, and just try what I suggested. I think that you'll get what you're looking for. Good luck! I'm rooting for you!
-Paper♥
2007-01-23 14:12:27 · answer #3 · answered by Paper 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
obviously she doesnt think she's a shrink. wtf? that was a stupid answer, probably just looking for the points...
but anywho. just talk to him. talk to him about what ever you want. whether you're asking a question or not. and if you don't want to know that question/answer then maybe you shouldn't ask/have it answered. But as a friend if you know he needs to talk about it you should put his needs before yours. Would he do the same for you?
2007-01-23 14:11:59 · answer #4 · answered by Mirror 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The next time you converse with him, ask him if he's only wanting to vent or does he actually want your opinion and advice.
That way you'll know whether you're just someone he wants to just listen to him whine and complain to or whether he actually wants your viewpoint and suggestions.
2007-01-23 14:11:44 · answer #5 · answered by lenise1973 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just start talking to him about nothing special like school until u get to the topic u want to reach that works believem
2007-01-23 14:13:12 · answer #6 · answered by Dalia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just tell him the things that you wrote down here in the aswers, and ask him what does he think and whats his opinion and always ask for what he thinks and suggest things don't fry...btw do you like him? just asking because you seems to be so interested?
2007-01-23 14:10:13 · answer #7 · answered by livinhapi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok... get him a huge pretty pad of paper (like notbook style0 or just a regular notebook, and ask to put his feelings in ther... make sure its not like a journal.. iono.. i think ther too pretty to use .. maybe its just me... but yea.. coax him into.. its AMZAINGLYYYYY benefical.....
2007-01-23 14:16:52 · answer #8 · answered by iyikka14 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him go.... He will talk to you when he is able to open up. He prob just needs time....
2007-01-23 14:11:01 · answer #9 · answered by Aussie_chick 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ur u a shrink?
2007-01-23 14:08:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋