What do you do to keep calm when...?

Question

What do you do to stay calm when your toddler is pushing all your buttons? How do you keep from spanking them or yelling at them.

Answer 1

If you are feeling like all is lost...

put them in their room to play alone while you calm down.
I had to do this today babysitting to keep from snapping at the little guy.

If they cry in the room... let them. They won't remember it next week and it will help with self comforting skills, and it truly is the responsible thing to do if you think you will lose control.

Answer 2

Stay calm as best you can. A change of pace might help. Some quiet time, time out or sit down a read a book to him/her. Or is it you that needs the break?
I have 4 kids ages 14, 7, 5 and 2. When I need a little break, I ask my 14 year old to watch his sisters for a half hour and go get a cup of coffee.
If that's not possible, maybe you can make sure the toddler is safe....and you aren't far away..and take a minute or two for yourself. A toddlers parent deserves it, they can run ya ragged.

Answer 3

That's a great question! Remember at that age, a lot of the annoying behavior is not actually misbehavior...it is just a kid being a kid and not realizing the behavior is wrong.
Fortunately at that age, they can be easily distracted. If they are just being a kid, try distracting them over to a different activity.
If it is out and out defiance and there is an important lesson they need to learn, get eye to eye with them and explain it in simple terms. If punishment is needed, take away a favorite toy for a short time. Not terribly long, because a toddler will not understand. The attention span is too short to keep associating the punishment with the "crime".
I know they can be trying, but you will do fine. Remember they grow up too soon. Time steals them from you.
And someday you will want to look back on it all and not feel bad about how you handled things.
Deep breaths, dear! Best wishes.

Answer 4

I am a director of a preschool so I have over 80 kids a day. When I was in the classroom, I was working with six one-year olds. When they were extra hyper and driving me insane, I would relieve stress by making silly noises right at them. I would hold them close and make a funny face and just go "blah". Loud enough to get the stress out, but not too loud to scare them. The kids got a kick out of the funny faces and the funny noises that they would try to mimic me. Watching them trying to mimic something so silly, made the situation much better. If it is a discipline problem, take a few deep breaths, depends on how old the child is, if they are two and older, explain to them that you do not appreciate their actions. Most kids seek approval of adults. If they are four and older, you can explain that you don't like their actions and that you need to be away from them for a few minutes. Many times they will try to correct their mistake or cuddle up to you. Again, there are soooooo many different ways to handle the many different situations that arise! Hope this helps.

Answer 5

It helps to imagine yourself at that age and that size and how frightening it is when a large adult (a giant compared to a toddler) is angry. Then imagine how hurtful it is when the adult they love most yells or hits them.
It is hard in the heat of the moment, but try to picture how you would feel if you were little again.
I regret every spanking I ever gave my children and every time I lost my patience and raised my voice. If I could do it over, I would be so much more careful. I would keep in mind that I was molding a personality and act accordingly, not REACT out of my own anger.
I hope this helps! You will do fine because you are a thinker, and are asking for information. Your child is lucky!

Answer 6

laugh .. you have to laugh for your own sake ..

i nearly lost it big time with my toddler once .. ( well this is over 12 yrs ago now) she was having her breakfast .. and had been having her breakfast for about two hours ..and it looked as though she was settling in to keep having her breakfast for another two hours ....

she was having porridge ... her porridge was cold .. and sloppy .. BUT she was still more than happy to keep eating it .. BUT it was the time factor that was driving me insane that day .. (SOME PEOPLE MAY SAY THAT IT WAS OK .. BUT TWO HOURS+ is too long in my book) ... so i asked her to eat a little faster .. NOPE.. so I tried feeding her DIDN'T WORK ..

And a part of me REALLY felt like throwing the bowl against the wall .. ( ok so that sounds bad .. BUT i think many mums MAY be able to identify ...) and a smaller part of me wanted to throw her ( NOW THAT SOUNDS REALLY REALLY BAD .. BUT rest assured I didn't and I wouldn't have BUT the feeling WAS there) ...

soooooooooo what I did instead was invert the bowl of cold sloppy porridge on the poor child;s head... she Just looked at me through the dripping porridge.. and I just laughed .. BEFORE I cleaned her up

Now I am expecting people to be cross at me and tell me what a bad parent I am for doing that ... But it didn't harm her .. it broke the tension .. and breaking the tension is sometimes the MOST important thing because if you don't you risk exploding ....

BUT .. can i also suggest that if you are feeling REALLY stressed out ... go outside . .take a walk .. WITH the child .. tell them LET'S GO OUT SIDE AND LOOK FOR PRETTY LEAVES OR INSECTS .. and you just break that tension ..and get out of it ..

Now .. I have to ask you back .. HOW do you stay calm with a Teenager ? I don't think my porridge on the head would work these days ... ALTHOUGH... I might give it a go ;)

take care , keep smiling and never be afraid to ask for help ... raising kids isn't always as easy as all the 1950's 60's and '70's television shows made it out to be :)
jen

Answer 7

I know exactly what you mean. When my kids got on my last nerve, it's impossible to remain cool and calm. You need to take a step back and breathe.

Step out of the room...drink some water...and remember that you love that little monster no matter how much you'd like to trade them in for a puppy (;->)

The important thing is that you realize that you need to step back before you deal with the problem.

Answer 8

i dont have kids or much experience but i think that to keep calm you try and stop and htink about the best way to handle things the nany 911 approach is pretty good that and then "ignoring" it becuase they LIKE to see you all wound up it's funny . i fidn that with teaching. you handle it liek you know you should but then ignore it. if it gets all out of hand... then honestly maybe hitting children is okay. in teaching oyu canot but they are your children spanking them enough to scare but not truely hurt is acceptable. they need pain to learn but calm yourself so as to not think about how hitting them is pleasing to you but be calm and then spank for the purpose of punnishment and make sure they know that if they do not stop pushing ur buttons that it will happen. if they do not know that they are going to be punnihsed. theres no chance for them to decide to behave

Answer 9

If your child is acting up the first thing to do is ask yourself why? If they are just at the age where nothing is right then just ignore it. If there is a problem like they didn't sleep the whole night before then you need to take action for that.

To keep your anger in check you need to just think about something else and try to stay positive.

Answer 10

I try to think of just that - he's TRYING to anger me! So, then, it puts things into perspective, if it doesn't make me mad, he'll stop. Although, that is a very difficult feat! I had a TERRIBLE day today in fact, toddlers are big personalities & they need ALL the attention ALL the time. Yelling is my biggest problem, it's hard to put the kabosh on... good luck!