I am in a dilemma. One of my bridesmaids is pregnant and is due a few days before my wedding. If she goes over

Question

she will feel awful and the dress won't fit. If she's induced, same situation. Either way, I don't know what to do. I want her to be involved, but I don't know if she will be able. Thanks:)

I'm not being selfish. I'm willing to do anything she wants. I know that she will be uncomfortable, and I wish there was a way around that, but there is not. I never said anything about inducing labor, I would never suggest that, it's not natural. The baby will come when it is ready.

In my question, I meant to say if she had the baby, not if she was induced. Wrong wording, sorry for the confusion.

Answer 1

I don't think you're being selfish. it's YOUR wedding! your big day! weddings are stressful things to do. i think that you should ask your bridesmaid what to do. it should be up to her. i mean, it's her baby. If she's okay with it, i personally think the best option is that she steps down from being a bridesmaid and takes some other role in your wedding. if it was me in that situation i would want to stay a bridesmaid. but i do think that she should think about the baby and maybe relax and stuff.

Answer 2

I would have a heart to heart with your friend. I know you want her to be involved, but it might not be the best thing for the two of you.

Assuming she has her baby a few days before your wedding, she will be sore and tired, especially if she is induced or ends up needing a c-section. She won't physically be comfortable and might still be in the hospital.

Assuming she goes past her due date and is still pregnant, she'll be VERY uncomfortable at your wedding. And crabby. If I were her, I'd be worried about going into labor at your wedding.

I think it's best that she not be a bridesmaid. It really is too up in the air as to how she'll feel on that day. Perhaps you can make her a reader for the ceremony? Something sweet and emotional? You can cut the reading, or find a new reader, at the last minute with minimal headache if it turns out that she can't do it.

Answer 3

You can either get a larger size of dress for her, something that will be loose on her now but gives her enough room so it wont be tight on her. If the your wedding day comes and she happends to go into labour or something comes up that she cant make it. Than have a back up, see if someone else could be there if she cant come, dont make it sound like they are the second choice, make it clear that you want them to be in the wedding, and they would of been from the start its just that there was already a lot of people in the wedding. See if you could get someone thats a bit larger that could wear the dress and wouldnt look to bad on them. If not than Your just going to have one less bridesmaid. It wont look to bad as long as they dont walk down the asile together, have the bridesmaids walk down by themselves and have the grooms men already standing there with the groom. People wont notice unless they count them, which i am sure wont happen. Good luck, and dont stress about it, I am sure though it will all work out and she wont have the baby on your wedding day, and the dress will fit her fine if she gets it a bit larger.

Answer 4

Your friend needs to drop out of being a bridesmaid if she is due so close to your wedding. If she has the baby a few days before, she may not even be able to make the wedding...much less be in it.

If you want her involved, there are plenty of other things she can do, help with your bridal shower, plan a bachelorette party, help you make big decisions...you don't have to feel bad about replacing her in your wedding party....a baby on the way is a fantastic event all of it's own...and she herself has a lot to get organized and plan.

Answer 5

She's been pregnant for like 9 months, meaning you've both had just that long to consider her condition in the dress given you knew both a due date AND wedding date. Everybody wishes they can have babies and stay small during it, by nature doesn't work that way and your friend needs to think about being OFF her feet during an entire wedding ceremony and taking it easy. Its selfish and inconsiderate of you to think about her unnecessarily inducing her pregnancy for YOUR wedding. Maybe you should be a concerned friend and hope for her to have a healthy happy pregnancy and birth from the audience and deal with being short one bridesmaid.

Answer 6

I'd hate to sound out of bounds, but I always thought that pregnant women should not become bridesmaids. pregnancy in itself is as very stressful an event as a wedding is. that's my personal and humble point of view.

now, she could attend the wedding as a special guest, sit in the table with the other bridesmaids, be a reader...because imagine all the duties a bridesmaid has to partake during the wedding preparations, there's footwork involved....and during the last months of pregnancy (I'm a mom), the last thing a pregnant woman needs (and her doctor needs) is added strain.

my advice is to have her focus on her baby, and if she can attend the wedding....that's a blessing. please don't force her into something she may not control. consider her health. have a backup bridesmaid, or do with one less. the wedding can still go on and be exciting for everyone (yeah, herself included).

again, happy upcoming wedding, and good luck in your search for other alternatives. your bridesmaid's pregnancy and especially her health should be given the deserved respect.

Answer 7

I would see if she wants to drop out of the wedding party but still attend as an honored guest who sits at the head table. If she has medical problems before the birth or after, she may be unable to attend. Or if there is (God forbid) something wrong with her child, she may not be in the mood for a wedding. Also, consider that she may be put on bed rest. I understand that you really want her to be int he wedding but because the dates are so close, I would recommend talking it over with her and making sure she still wants to be in the wedding. I would give her a guilt free way to be let out because chances are, she won't want to be in the wedding and all of the pictures when she is 9 months preg.

Answer 8

You don't say how far along the plans are for your wedding, if its early days you may want to change the date for her if its important. If all the deposits are down and the date is important to you than let her off the hook, even if she gives birth a few days early, shes not going to want to attend, let alone be part of a wedding. Shes going to need recuperation time you know. If she goes over, everyone will be looking at her, nervously waiting to see if her water breaks, that is not the way you want to remember your wedding. Express your desire to have her in your wedding and your understanding of her problem and tell her you don't want her uncomfortable, and that you are so sorry she may not be able to make it, but you understand.

Answer 9

I found out a couple of weeks ago that one of my bridesmaids is pregnant and thankfully she hadn't bought the dress yet. So then it kind of put me in a dilemma to maybe have to change my mind about the type of bridesmaid dress I wanted or to just not worry about it and when I found the dress I wanted to just show it to her and she would say yes or no. So basically i found the dress and I called her and I told her the price and that it was straight and if she still wanted to and she said yes. It may sound selfish but it's my day and I don't want to worry about anything or anybody but me. The dress is really expensive and I don't want her to spend money on it and then she might not fit in it for the wedding. She will be 7 months pregnant. She was also 7 months pregnant at our Senior prom 3 years ago. And she has a 5 month old. So I kind of don't feel bad but if she wants to be in my wedding that bad then go for it. I would say to talk to your friend and just let her know exactly how you feel. That's what I did and it worked out. I also have a bridesmaid who's father is on the verge of dying. He is from Vietnam so he wantds to die there and he is going up there next month and if he dies my cousin will have to fly to Vietnam to go to his funeral and she doesn't know what to do because she really wants to walk but her mom doesn't think it's a good idea. But I don't want het to spend that much money on a dress she won't be able to wear again. So she is going to let me know by the end of the week what she is going to do. I really want her in the wedding but it's really stressing me out. But I told both of them exactly what I thought. Just talk to her. Everything will work out.

Answer 10

Well you can always move the date of the wedding if it's that important to you to have the mom-to-be there. I mean that is the only way everyone is gonna be happy. Maybe move the wedding to the next month giving her time to be with her kid. Unless this wedding is planned really soon. Then just get married with out her there. I mean you can't force her to be there right.. but if shes that important move the date of the wedding .