i wonder if i should believe my fiance about this one...?

Question

before he met me he was with a girl who was easy,she is on really heavy drugs still and she said they went together 4 A few years on and off,he says they were only 2 gether maybe a about 2-3 times as a bootie call,and i asked if he used a condom and he said yes,well i have been with him 4 -2 yrs and he has not had an std if he had one would nt have shown up by now,he said she is lying because she is on really bad drugs like herion,crack ect.but why would she say that???who should i believe and do you think he did wear a condom???

Answer 1

His past is his past. It had nothing to do with you so why are you obsessed with it? If you're worried about it because of the threat of STDs, I suggest you both go down and get tested together. Men can carry certain STDs and never have symptoms so that isn't true. Be safe and get your tests and have him wear a condom until you're both tested and in the clear.

Let his past go. Whatever mistakes he made led him to you and if you're both happy, that's all that matters so don't harass him about it. He'll come to resent it. It's in his past for a reason, leave it there. Stop talking to the crackhead as well. You can always tell when a junkie is lying, their lips are moving. Let it go, girl and be happy with what you got!

Answer 2

You'll never know if he wore a condom or not. Best bet, go get tested and do it together. Don't accuse him and send him off to the doctor. Tell him that it's just smart to both get tested every once in a while if you are sexually active. I was with my husband for 5 years w/ no signs of an std and i still made both of us get tested before we walked down the isle, just for my piece of mind.

As for who to believe, I'd go with trusting your man on this. Unless he lies about other things there doesn't seem to be a reason to not believe him. And if she said on and off for a few years maybe those 3 bootie calls were spread out over the years. Until he gives you reason not to trust him I'd give him the benefit of the doubt.

Answer 3

At this point, it doesn't matter who is telling the truth. Why are you with a guy who has associated himself with girls like that in the past? You and your health are worth more than that. One way to know if he is lying or telling the truth is to look at your relationship. Does he use condoms with you? If yes, then he most likely used them with her. If not, then he most likely didn't use them with her. And by the way, herpes is an STD that can stay inside your body for years and never show up until later. So, I would say, go get yourself tested and dump him. You don't need that kind of drama and you can do bad by yourself!

Answer 4

You truly are right for asking and being concerned. It is a dangerous venture to have sex with a drug user, or anyone that had sex with them. The world is also full of smart people who never indulge in this activity. Who to believe is up to you. Your choices in life and your future are entirely in your hands. making the tough choices, like this one, take fortitude and strength. You may never get the truth so you have to decide....hopefully understanding that it will avoid a lifetime of sickness and disappointment---especially when there are millions of smart, clean, mature people out there. You know the guy and the girl--what do you really really think you should do???Read a couple of books and ask a doctor for advice about this issue. Your health and happiness depend on it. I wish you the best on this. BE STRONG

Answer 5

Are you saying that she now claims that he has a STD or that at one time he gave her a STD? Your question is not clear. But, just by the sounds of it, I would be cautious because anyone willing to be involved and have sex with a person that they know is strung out on drugs really bad is someone who exercises poor judgment...thus, he might have also exercised the same judgment when it came to using a condom.

Best of luck to you and be careful!

Answer 6

Girl, if you have to ask you need to get checked out. Some STD's don't show up (especially in women) or are initially mistaken for other more common things. By the time you realize there's something wrong you could be looking at sterility or worse. That is the kind of risk I would trust with NOBODY but my doctor.

Answer 7

Have him go to the doctor and get a HIV test and you do the same. Make sure that you both are checked out and if all comes back fine then you are clear to have unprotected sex. Hopefully he doesnt have herpes because that wont show up and you can get it even if he isnt having an outbreak. If you dont trust him maybe you shouldnt sleep with him, just a thought.

Answer 8

WELL, i am trying to read through your haphazard writing and if i am correct in this you are stating that his ex says he might have an std but in the past 2 yrs you havent seen that to be the case.

yes he could still have one because things like herpes has outbreaks and isnt always apparent. hiv has a long hibernation period. since she was on drugs you cant actually take her at face value but the possiblity is there so you might want to have him get checked out, and yourself too.

Answer 9

I'd want to believe my fiancee, but I'd get myself tested just to be sure. The ex girlfriend may just want to make trouble, but I wouldn't take chances where my health was involved. You have to wonder why he'd hang around with someone who he knew was so easy and on heroin....

Answer 10

If you worried tell him that he needs to get tested and you are not available again until he shows you the test results from the lab with the doctors signature.