I am suffering from depression, but my husband doesn not understand me at all...what should I do?

Question

Yes, perhaps he is right when he says that there is no reason for me to be depressed, but if any of you have experienced the same pain I am going through, you hopefully will understand that there does not necessarily have to be a reason for this. I often cry, I never hve any sexual desire and I am often moody. My hubby does not understand my condition a bit, and unsted being supportive, he makes me feel guilty for my condition. I feel even more lonely.....I can't tell my mum, because she worries way too much. Have you gone through anything similar?

Answer 1

Depression is an illness.

Please get help. Talk to your doctor about medication and counselling. It's the best possible combination for healing.

People who haven't been through it themselves don't know what depression is about or how to deal with it. Your husband just doesn't understand that you can't "snap out of it."

Get some pamphlets on depression and go through them with your husband to help him understand.

But please get help. Take care.

Answer 2

Yes, I've gone through the same thing several times with friends and family in the past. They just don't understand. For the past year or so I've been having the same problem with my boyfriend, and I'm also moody and lack sexual desire. It's very frustrating because sometimes I just need for someone close to me to acknowledge that I'm suffering, rather than telling me I have no reason to feel the way that I do. When my boyfriend isn't supportive (about 90% of the time) it makes my depression 100x worse! I wish he would understand this. So, you are not alone. It's a very difficult situation. I'm not sure how to help you though, I'm not married so sometimes I feel like I should take a break from my bf so that I can fix my depression on my own before it takes an even bigger toll on our relationship. Other times I become angry and disappointed that my boyfriend isn't more willing to understand me or help me. Try seeing a therapist, maybe they can intervene and help your husband understand your problem more while also helping you, whether it be just through therapy or prescribing antidepressants. Good luck, if you come up with any solutions, let me know! I could use the help too

Answer 3

I've actually experienced a lot of that myself (i think being an outcast in High School kind of traumatized me for life), but fortunately, i found a guy who's been there too and also still has the scars, so we help each other deal and kind of take turns pulling each other out of our "holes" before we get too deep. I always thought i needed years of extensive therapy and/or Meds, but all i really needed was just to have one person who really understood me, so i didn't feel so crazy,you know? I'm sorry your husband doesn't understand, but hopefully,you could find someone who does understand, like a sibling or other relative or a friend or a co-worker;someone you can really trust and can talk to about anything because everyone needs that, everyone needs a confidante. It's easier to get through the ups and downs of life when you don't have to travel alone. Of course, i'm not sure what level of depression you're at or if it's something that can't be cured (or at least controlled) by talking or other forms of self-expression, like poetry,painting,music or other outlets. If it is, maybe you should consider professional help. But hopefully somehow you could someday get your husband understand you,though, because he may be able to help you more than anyone.

Answer 4

Because depression is a disease, you really should get help. It's hard for people who don't have depression can find it hard to understand because they have trouble putting themselves in that situation.

He needs facts though. I have depression. And so does an old friend of mine. Instead of explaining what was wrong to the people who cared about her when they asked her why she was so upset and moody all the time, she hit back at them saying "you don't understand! You don't know anything about me!" made a big fuss and made more trouble than progress. Depression is one thing, being a dying swan about it is another.
Basically what I'm saying is most people need to be sat down and explained things with easy to understand facts, including the chemical imbalances and the results of that. Sometimes taking them to the doctor with you to have it explained by a professional will help them. Other times just you explaining things factually and simply will be enough. Be patient with him. He may just not know how to handle the fact that the one woman he really loves isn't well. You've had a while to get used to this idea, but he may not be really prepared. Its the same with other people. A lot of people might have stigmas attached to depression, but they just need to be told the facts. After things start to get worked out it doesn'y become as much of a big deal, but before anything is done about it, it can be horrid!

Seek out some help from a doctor. That’s the first step. It can be hard, but it’s the best choice you’ll ever make. And take it easy on yourself and your hubby. Things may look bad but they get better :) All the best!!!

Answer 5

Hey, I don't think my answer is going to solve your problem, but know that you aren't alone. I feel the same. I have a great family, love going to Church, have the best job, but I can't shake the blues. My bf tells me the same thing. "You have nothing to be depressed about" What hurts is that he is the one I talk to about things, and I almost feel like I don't have him on my side, which has an even more negative effect. I then shut him out, and I feel more lonely and sad. I don't feel l need to see a doctor because I'm not contemplating suicide or anything like that, I'm just down in the dumps. I even catch myself feeling so much anxiety at times that I get literally sick. I have been looking up "chronic stress" because I think that could possible be part of my problem. Maybe you should check out some things like that. I also started a healthy diet because I think that may even play a part in it. Also, on ivillage.com you can sign up for this healthy life style tracker that has kind of a online stress workshop. I have been working through some of the activities at night, and I think they help. At first I though it may be silly, but then I would cry the whole time I typed because I felt like I was opening up about things that I didn't even realize I was feeling. I think that men a just different. They can't understand things like this. I believe the direct url is healthylivingonline.com, if you want to check any of that out. In the mean time, try to smile, and I will keep you in my prayers! Good luck!

Answer 6

Depression is a illness!!!!!!!! it can be a kill it slowly eats a way at you. You feel lonly, sad,mean,not really letting ny onin your life. I was put on meds after my brother was killed and many other reason. Your best bet is go see a doctor. Let people inside of you. You are loved and people care about you. you just need to open you eyes. stop and look at the sun shine. Take a breath. Go get a journal andwrite your problems down. act like it is your best friend and when you feel better and throw you problems aways (i mean throw the journal in the trash) It will take some time but you feel better. Just keep trying!!!! I hope you feel better soon. If you ever need a friend email me knopeamy@yahoo

Answer 7

yes i know exaclty how you feel.
Helpless? Hopeless?...Confused?....It doesn't matter what you say to people they just can't understand. It's not their fault but they can't get it. It's like trying to imagine you have cancer. You can't untill you experience it first hand. I'm not really one to be giving advice because i cant seem to kick it either but....what i can suggest is.
Eat lots of veggies and healthy food and exercise.
Try new things...find something that you love. and pursue it.
Think positive and live in the moment.
Help people.
Their is different kinds of depression and some can only be fixed with medicine, some you just gotta do stuff for your self and because its winter you might have seasonal affective disorder.
Either way...do the other things above but also go see a shrink (with and without your husband so he can understand) because shrinks can understand ....talk to people with depression and decide for your self if you need medicine after that. Something simple like a vitamin d lamp can help alot but you have to do your research.
good luck its a ***** of a desease.

Answer 8

When I was depressed I cried alot. My husband didn't understand and sometimes I felt like he didn't want to. I asked him several times to come with me to talk to someone. Well, as the days went on and he wouldn't talk about it, I finally called my child's pediatrician and asked for a referral to someone. Finally when I told my husband that I had made an appt, he realized. Something WAS really wrong. If he won't support you, YOU have to take the step. You HAVE to. I promise it will get better. Good Luck.

Answer 9

yes. i get depressed a lot and what i suggest is scheduling a doctors appointment before this depression leads to self destruction. maybe some prozac or other anti depressant would help. also, check out this site.

http://depression.about.com/od/treatments/Treatments.htm

some things that help me from being depressed: being outdoors, listening to calming music, constantly being around friends, NOT drinking alcohol that makes it worse, being crafty (ex: make a collage, read, start to write a book, bead necklaces or jewlery, make presents for ur closest friends to show them how much u care ( u have no idea how much this helps.. it makes u feel like a better person and ur friends feel loved) umm re organizing or re decorating, exercising, walking the dog (if you have one), really getting into something.. like join an acting class or group and get into it or a play.

i hope this helps. feel better & stay active

Answer 10

Yes, I have been there. My ex-husband couldn't handle it. He didn't understand, was not sympathetic and didn't think there was really anything wrong with me. He didn't think I needed to take medication or seek help. He finally got tired of all of it and left me. Talk about kicking me while I was down. I did go get help. I went to a psychologist, and I am currently on lexapro for the depression and seroquel for the mood swings. It is a chemical imbalance in the brain and the only way to help it is to get on medication that works for you. I tried several medications before I found the ones that worked for me. My new husband is very understanding and supportive. I told him all about my problems before we got married. See if you husband will go to the doctor with you and get the doctor to explain to him that it is not your fault that it is a chemical imbalance.