i hate to admit it but my 4 yr old speaks like a sailor,, i need help in training him not to say certain words but he wont stop,, and it dont help that i have 17 yr old and a 12 yr old that wont stop saying certain words around him,,can someone give me a few ideas on help here, i dont want to smack his mouth, i dont believe in that,,but i cant let him continue , ill never get him in school,, help please
2007-01-23
13:18:01
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15 answers
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asked by
mystic420
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Pregnancy & Parenting
➔ Toddler & Preschooler
The fault lies with the older children.
At 4 years old your child is still in the monkey see, monkey do phase, or rather monkey hear monkey say. The way children this young learn is by imitating those around them. So if your older children swear then your younger child will swear as well.
You have to explain this to them and tell them that it is no longer permissible to swear in your house. You will have to, or have them come up with other things to say like; snap, by Jove, or darn it. Or they can swear like Fred Flintstone; stana-franit-mumble-muble...
Do you remember the movie "ET the Extraterrestrial?" In that movie the children swear like most children do with phrases like, "Penis Breath." They may not know exactly what they are saying, but they know it is bad. This is how your 12 year old is probably acting. Your 17 year old should know exactly what they are saying.
It sounds corny, but if you catch them swearing, or yourself, or other family members swearing then they need to put a dime in the swear jar. If you make a game out of it then everyone will be watching each other to see who swears and who doesn't. Especially if you say you are going to use the money to visit a theme park or to do something that the older children would want to do. Both of them will want the other child to pay for it, and they will be watching you and your husband as well.
If a dime isn't enough then make it something stronger, a quarter, fifty cents, a dollar; whatever works. And what your children have to put up with has to apply to everyone.
Once your family stops using the language then your child will stop using it as well. You could and try to punish the 4 year old for swearing, but they probably don't realize what they are saying, certainly not what it means. So you are right smacking him in the mouth won't work. You can't smack your older children in the mouth either so you have to find another way to punish them.
Otherwise when it becomes time for your youngest to go to school he will be an embarrassment to your entire family. Tell your 17 year old that if he gets sent home for swearing then they will have to pick them up, even if that means you have to pull them out of school you will do it. Potential embarrassment is one of the most effective means of punishment you can use.
Don't let the 12 year old off either. If your baby keeps swearing then she/he is going to have to find a way to teach your child not to swear.
This is a family problem and it requires a family solution. This means holding dad responsible as well.
2007-01-23 13:39:17
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answer #1
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answered by Dan S 7
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The first step will be disciplining the older children to not use that language around him. Unfortunately, it won't be fair for you to punish him for using language that his siblings are permitted to use freely. Maybe tell them they must keep it all in and once your 4-year-old heads to bed, they can curse away. :) They really are going to have to help you with this. Once you've gotten the older kids to be curse-free around the little one you can work on the little one stopping using the bad words. I would just ignore him when he curses. Don't give any attention to it. If he uses the language in public, you may have to say something. You could have him earn rewards for using GOOD language. If you ignore the language he will see that it doesn't bother you and eventually he'll stop. But none of this will be effective until he doesn't hear the language all around him. I wanted to add something after reading Dan S.'s response. As a teacher, I have used a similar method with my students. Once I had a student who used a particular inappropriate phrase in school all the time. We replaced it with "Geez Louise" and "Oh, cracker jack!" Things like that will allow the older ones to get out their frustrations and also have the little one hear good models. Good luck!
2007-01-23 15:50:01
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answer #2
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answered by ReeberKaseyMarcus 3
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Instead of trying to get him to not say words that you don't like ... give him words he can use.... I used to call the other drivers all kinds of nasty names... since having the girls.. everyone is my buddy ... said through clenched teeth is still effective but not some a four or seven year old should say
Another example is Bangers and mashed... meaning sausages and potatoes but it is something a 4 year old or 12 year old can say safely when they are upset... this works here
Tell your son that this word and that word are not acceptable and give an alternative ... have your older children using them when around your son will help too!!Good Luck
2007-01-23 13:28:20
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answer #3
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answered by stephanie p 4
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Children are like little sponges; they soak up everything they see and hear. To change his 'potty mouth' you must first demand the 17 and 12 year olds to stop - plus anyone else in the home.
The older two probably think it's cute when the 4 year old copies them but it's NOT.
2007-01-23 18:07:49
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answer #4
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answered by Anonymous
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i'd start where he is getting it from. crack down on the 17 year old and 12 year old. if you're fine with your children cussing, that's fine, but make a rule that no one curses around the 4 year old.
Next, crack down on the four year old. the other two can help with this....convince the four year old that words like "darn it" and "heck" are much cooler to say than the other ones. if he gets the idea that big people use words like "darn it" and "heck" then he will probably switch over to them almost immediatly. have your seventeen year old play along "guess what i learned in school today?! its really bad...."
it doesnt eliminate the problem, but hopefully it will help.
2007-01-23 13:29:22
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answer #5
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answered by tanja_berengue 4
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A 4 year old repeats what he hears, especially from older siblings. Stop the sailor talk around him and he will stop. Address the issue with the older kids.
2007-01-23 13:23:44
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answer #6
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answered by cnIV 2
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DEAR YOU MAKE THE 17 YEAR OLD GET A AFTER SCHOOL JOB AND THE 12 YEAR OLD YOU WASH THERE MOUTHS OUT DAWN WASHING SOAP AND ALSO 4 YEAR OLD TO THAT WILL BREAK THE PLAY HOUSE UP AND WHY THE 17 YEAR OLD IS GONE YOU THROW OUT HIS CD WITH BAD WORDS ON THEM AND TELL HIM IF HE USING THAT LUGGAGE AROUND HE IS OUT SIDE IN A TENT OK AND YOU MIGHT HAVE TO SPANK THE 12 YEAR OLD AND THE 4 YEAR OLD GOOD LUCK OK.
2007-01-23 16:50:03
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answer #7
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answered by ? 7
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Not a bad word at all if you used to be a former Democrat. However, if you call someone a NEOCON who has never been a Dem,it just shows YOUR stupidity and lack of knowledge of the word. I guess I just summed up all Liberals..
2016-05-24 02:38:49
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answer #8
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answered by Anonymous
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You have to get the older kids to stop. Parenting isnt easy but thats the only way to get your 4yr old to stop.
2007-01-23 13:21:22
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answer #9
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answered by Anonymous
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i swear like a sailor too and my son now 6 has never repeated me, thank god. his first day of kindergarted he says " hey mom did you hear what that kid said ? he said f***! so i guess when he heard a kid say it he thought it was okay... get your older kids to stop cussing
2007-01-23 13:24:00
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answer #10
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answered by Anonymous
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