We broke up, but we STILL Argue! Help Please?

Question

I went out with this guy for over a year, and we loved each other to death. Before our relationship, we made a promise to each other that we would still be best friends when we end. But now that we have been through for 3 months, (and he got a new girl in the process) everytime I try to be nice to him we end up in a HUGE argument. Why can't we STILL get along? Should I give up or try a different approach?

We mainly argue because he always tries to compete with me, like, who has the better life even though we broke up sort of thing...like I'll say "Yeah this one boy likes me, but I dont like him lol" and he'll say "WELL I HAVE ALL THESE GIRLS THAT WANT TO GET WITH ME JUST LIKE THEY ALWAYS HAVE BEEN!!"...isn't that dumb?

Answer 1

This guy is compensating for your change of status. You aren't the girlfriend, you are the 'best friend'. That's not only a difficult transition for any couple, but in your case, you actually believed it would work.

He's spoiling for a fight, and thanks to you (and the way you are falling for the bait), he's getting it, every time.


If you want him to stop AND you don't want to continue a relationship:
Don't let what he says get under your skin. Don't react to it. Don't acknowledge it. Don't ignore it, if he starts to be unpleasant and acting like an idiot -- just tell him goodbye.

If you want him to stop AND you want to continue being 'best friends' --
He is NOT the same person he used to be. He is now the 'ex', as are you. Most people take time away from each other at the end of a relationship -- somehow, you think it's supposed to work out even if you DON'T take some time away from each other. Forcing contact with him (and if I am not mistaken, these arguments are happening in private circumstances -- NOT in public, open forums) or allowing him to 'set the stage' is only going to be prelude to having more arguments.

Whether you want to acknowledge it or not, there is a reason that you continue wanting to interact with him, even though he's being an ***. Identify your reasons, and you might begin to understand the reasons for HIS behavior, as well.

Answer 2

Yeah, it's dumb. He's trying to get to you. And, it appears he is succeeding. Sounds like deep down inside he really didn't want to let you go. He's trying to convince you and himself he is doing great without you. Best thing to do is break off all together. Other wise you're going to drive yourself bonkers with frustration. Not worth it my dear. Once you two have a clean break from one another, you just might get back together! As long as you are fighting there is a sure chance that's as far as it will go. If you want to fight for the rest of your life, then go ahead and stick around. But if it were me, I'd stay as far from him as possible. For now at least. If in the future it looks like you can rekindle your relationship or friendship, then give it another try.

Answer 3

It is not a good idea to try and remain friend's with your EX.He is your ex for a reason.You will never beable to move on as long as you have him with you or on your mind.Why compete with him your broken up go your seperate ways.The comments he is making to you are both childish and disrespectful.If you enjoy being treated like that then continue to be friends with him otherwise do what grown ups do and leave him in the past and move on..The approach you need to take is get him out of your life.

Answer 4

What do you mean you guys still fight!?!? how is that possible?? and about what?? If i were just dont mind him! I'm guessing he probably still likes you.. dont worry my dear.. things are bound to turn up great!

Answer 5

You both need to either stop or STOP.

Simple. If you cannot stop arguing, then stop talking.