Abusive husband ...soft heart on her side Love her to death but need to know how I should act in this type of situation .....any suggestionns please... Hard fist or Understanding.....Thank You
2007-01-23 12:53:18 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Understanding, if she is or was pregnant that is hard enough to go through without adding the stress of a "Hard Fist." There is a better time to lay down the law.
2007-01-23 12:58:17 · answer #1 · answered by The Pig! 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hard Fist? How and why is that an option?
He was abusive and yet YOU are considering hard fist? I was so with you until I saw your choices. I thought, OK, this guy is upset but turning to us to help him calm down, but now I am worried for this woman. What makes you any better than him if THAT is what you write?
OK, I am going to calm down and give you the benefit of the doubt. I'm going to give you the answer I had planned to give. I do hope it helps.
Understanding is called for here -- you know that, don't you? She is obviously needing to close a door, but needs to understand something first. Maybe she already understands, but she just needs to revisit this right now. This is not for you to know. She obviously TRUSTS YOU to understand that, or she would be doing this behind your back.
Please don't make this about you. Please just let her do this thing, let her talk or not. She needs to decompress in her way when this difficult conversation is over. Please show her that she made the right decision being with you the last six years.
Please, just be loving. Love her to LIFE. She needs you.
2007-01-23 21:05:23 · answer #2 · answered by Pamela B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay that is crazy. What is going on? I honestly need some more information. I have questions that need answering myself. Why is she on the phone with him? (closure or not someone mentioned below) that is disrespectful to you. I would ask her, right away. I don't think you should use hard fist (but shake the **** outta her) ok that wasn't cool for me to say. If she is woman enough to have that conversation in front of you, or anywhere around you, she should be ready to answer any questions you have about that conversation. And if that answer is not what you were expecting and I pray that she gives the right answer then everything is cool. But should it be the wrong answer i would cut the cord with her. 6 years is along time to be with someone and to hear a conversation like that. Just ask her before you get all worked up. Holla back
2007-01-23 21:08:05 · answer #3 · answered by Here Kitty Kitty!!! 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I can only assume from the information you provided that she was coerced into an abortion while she was with her ex. If that is the case, I'm sure she just needs closure, and he is the only person who could give it. It is extremely doubtful that she's interested in rekindling any sort of relationship with him, since it would seem that she didn't agree with the decision about the abortion. If anything, I would believe that she may feel strong enough to question his decision, now that she has your support...something she probably didn't have the nerve to do, during an abusive relationship. Don't be too rash.
2007-01-23 21:03:23 · answer #4 · answered by Madfat 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you saying you are the abusive husband and should you use a hard fist? If that is what you are asking, I would be worried - there is never an excuse to be abusive to your partner - you have no right to hurt someone like that. If you do not trust her, beating her up is not going to make her want your trust!
2007-01-23 20:56:35 · answer #5 · answered by ronnie82 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Looks like she has a thing for abusers, Mr. Should I Give Her the Hard Fist.
2007-01-23 20:57:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The asking is not an issue.. she probably hates the idea of losing a child. Their is however a problem here.. one: she regrets losing his child, and still questions it.. two.. it is an ex and she is still talking to him 6 years later about his child. First off is he your past best friend?? are you with your best friends ex.. or is it some distant moron from you, that she is still trying to hang out with and keeping in touch while she is supposed to be having a life with you? Things just don't sound right, period. If you are young, RUN!
2007-01-23 21:00:59 · answer #7 · answered by boteefis 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've been way too vague in asking your question. I need more information on the situation to really understand and offer any advice. I agree with a previous answerer...maybe she just needs closure??? But maybe you should just talk to your woman about this. Does she see this ex in real life? Does she talk to him often? Is she trying to hide it from you? If she rarely talks to him on the phone and that's all the contact they have...I wouldnt be too worried. Nevertheless, just talk to her about it and ask her the questions that you want answers to. She will be more informative than any of us on Y/A can be.
J
2007-01-23 21:02:31 · answer #8 · answered by Jenn 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How sad. It sounds like maybe in the past he was very controlling over her and persuaded her that an abortion was necessary. Perhaps now she is sad about it and wants to understand how he talked her into it. I agree that it's an attempt at closure -- perhaps a final grieving.
2007-01-23 20:58:34 · answer #9 · answered by DustNik 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
definately NOT the hard fist. i talk to my ex husband all the time. trust me, he means nothing to me anymore....we have just remained friends. She just probably hasnt dealt with it herself and needs more insight. dont take it personally. its just something she has to deal with. if she wanted him, she would be with him. she dont want him, she just had an issue that happened with him and needs to talk about it. once she finds acceptance in herself, she will be ok. just give her time and let her do what she needs to rationalize what she has done. good luck.
2007-01-23 21:02:56 · answer #10 · answered by Truth Teller 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋