Can any Christians offer me advice or a scripture to read??

Question

My friend "Tim" and I just had a huge fight...just because I swear and my parents are divorced and I have questions about the Bible, he thinks he's a better Christian than I am. I told him that it's not wrong to have questions for God, but he sees it a sign as atheism. Also, my parents divorced when I was about 4 years old (14 years before I met Tim!!) and I have had no contact with my father since. According to Tim, my mother made a mistake in divorcing my dad because divorce is a sin and they should've "worked it out."

Basically, I just got tired of him telling me that he's a better person and a better Christian than he is. Although I pray to God for strength, wisdom, courage, health, to watch over my family, all that jazz, he thinks he's "better" than me because I don't go to church and because I listen to R&B and rap music. I'm sick of him looking down on me. Anybody have any advice on how to handle this? Any scriptures I should read???

Answer 1

He shouldn't judge you because we all have room for improvement when it comes to pleasing God; none of us are perfect. (Luke 6:37) All I can say is remain humble and trust in God and he'll help the friendship mend. (Proverbs 3:5,6; Matthew 23:12)

Answer 2

I would spend less Tim with Tim... Remind him that ALL of us are sinners. Tell him that maybe you mom was wrong, or not...And that you were not part of the decision making when that decision was made. Pray for strength & wisdom from God, & that God will lead you to be as Christ like as possible. Set the example, and remind him that God doesn't care how good a person you are. You should also ask him to stop judging you for that is for God to do. Only God can judge a persons heart. Just do what God says is right & try not to worry about what anyone says.

Ps: you really shouldn't swear! Not only doesn't God like it but it makes a person "sound" really uneducated, like your vocabulary isn't big enough to use a better word.

Answer 3

For you having questions about God, it states in the Bible to test the spirits. You had no control over your parents divorcing. You keep praying, believing and reading the Bible. The next time your friend judges you tell him point blank, Judge not unless you will be judged. Yes there are scriptures to read, try the whole book of John. It tells about Jesus love, caring, compassion and truth. You really need to stop swearing, it is not prudent, nor Christ-like. When we are in Christ we do not look down on each other but try to help each other. Your friend Tim needs to read about Jesus instead of being talked at by a pastor. I personally do not like rap, but if you can hear the swearing in it without using the profanity fine. You will hear it daily, no one is devoid of hearing vulgarity. Try reading John 3:16, and always remember it was for you He died too.

Answer 4

I don't think he is a very good christian at all- "Don't judge less ye be judged" Mathew 7:1 -and that is what he is doing. I'd have to guess and say he is a "born-again" christian which tend to be...excuse me... "psychos"- No Christian is better than the other. As for the scriptures to read- I would read all of Ecclesiastes-(which by the way is pronounced: Ee-klay-see-as-tees) one of my favs and maybe from Matthew to the end of the bible. I would talk to this Tim and tell him how you feel about his judgment towards you-also tell him Divorce is a sin, but as always God forgives. A good site to look at is: Bible.com

Answer 5

This young man is thouroghly confused. I teach 3rd/4th grade Sunday school and encourage the kids to ask questions about God's Word. If we don't understand something or don't believe it, how can we correct our understanding if we don't ask? As far as divorce, would God want your mother to be unhappy? That divorce is between HER and GOD, and it's none of Timothy's concern. It's obvious that his understanding and knowledge of the Bible is lacking. If God can forgive her, is Timothy greater than God that he can't? Is Timothy not a sinner (actually, there are churches that teach when a person is saved, they don't sin any more...false doctrine) I've run across a few Christians who, because of their misguided teachers, believe they are better than others, but the Bible says no one who does good, no, not one, no one is righteous not even one (paraphrased from Romans 3:10 & 12). So even your most pious Christian is no better than anyone else. I saw part of a movie called SAVED, and I can see FAYEANN (I think that was the girl's name) in TIMOTHY. Zealous but misguided. If you get a chance, watch it...recommend Timothy watch it.

Answer 6

Your friend has an identity problem and is hiding behind a religious blanket. That is not being Christ-like, Christianity is based on love and up lifting others, instead of trying to bring down someone. We should learn to ask God questions. Nothing is wrong with that. How then will we know things? Prayer is talking to God and in that conversation, we should ask all the questions we want - just remain long enough for God to answer them. Love, be bless.

Answer 7

First of all, I wouldn't waste my time telling someone who looks down on other people that they are a "better person" than anyone else. Secondly, it's none of Tim's business judging why people got divorced. Instead a true Christian friend would feel sorry for you and your parents and not be using a past incident as a tool to exalt himself at your family's expense. Here's some Scriptures for you to read and share with your buddy Tim.

James 4:1 What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? (2) You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. (3) You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions. (4) You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. (5) Or do you suppose it is to no purpose that the Scripture says, "He yearns jealously over the spirit that he has made to dwell in us"? (6) But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, "God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble." (7) Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

Don't forget that you first have to submit to God before the Devil will flee from you.

James 4:8 Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. (9) Be wretched and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom.

(10) Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you. (11) Do not speak evil against one another, brothers. The one who speaks against a brother or judges his brother, speaks evil against the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge. (12) There is only one lawgiver and judge, he who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor?

(13) Come now, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit"-- (14) yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. (15) Instead you ought to say, "If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that." (16) As it is, you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil. (17) So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.

Answer 8

Then he told this story to some who boasted of their virtue and scorned everyone else:

2 men went to the Temple to pray. One was a proud, self-righteous Pharisee, and the other a cheating tax collector. The proud Pharisee 'prayed' this prayer: "Thank God, I am not a Sinner like everyone else, especially like that tax collector over there! For I never cheat, I don't commit adultery, I go without food twice a week, and I give to God a tenth of everything I earn.'

But the corrupt tax collector stood at a distance and dared not even lift his eyes to heaven as he prayed, but beat upon his chest in sorrow, exclaiming, 'God, be merciful to me, a sinner.' I tell you, this sinner, not the Pharisee, returned home forgiven! For the proud shall be humbled, but the humble shall be honored." - Luke 18:9-14.

Also check out John 3:3. Jesus said "Unless a man is born again, he cannot enter the kingdom of Heaven."

Answer 9

On Divorce:

Mark 10:2-12 (New International Version)
2Some Pharisees came and tested him by asking, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?"

3"What did Moses command you?" he replied.

4They said, "Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away."

5"It was because your hearts were hard that Moses wrote you this law," Jesus replied. 6"But at the beginning of creation God 'made them male and female.'[a] 7'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife,[b] 8and the two will become one flesh.'[c] So they are no longer two, but one. 9Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."

10When they were in the house again, the disciples asked Jesus about this. 11He answered, "Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. 12And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery."

*** From this verse we see that Jesus taught us that it is adultery if a man/woman divorces and then REMARRIES. Your parents aren't remarried.
Furthermore, if you are Catholic the church can annul a marriage making it like it didn't happen in God's eyes, depending on the special circumstances surrounding the marriage. Therefore if mom gets remarried, it won't be adultery.

God forgives us of sins. Even someone commiting adultery can be forgiven of their sins.

On juding others:

Matthew 7
Judging Others
1"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

3"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.

***From this verse, we can see that your judgemental friend should not be judging your family in the manner he is, according to God.

Answer 10

My parents divorced at 13.

Read Luke 18

9 To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everybody else, Jesus told this parable:
10 "Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector.
11 The Pharisee stood up and prayed about[a] himself: 'God, I thank you that I am not like other men—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector.
12 I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.'
13"But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, 'God, have mercy on me, a sinner.'
14"I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted."

Perhaps you should look at the message that your music is sending and perhaps you should go to Church but it sounds like he is closer to the Pharisee here and not the tax collector. In Mere Christianity C.S. Lewis describes pride as the hardest sin because the others are of the flesh and pride is in the heart.

Where is your heart REALLY? God sees what is in all hearts and I know I have to look at mine often and question myself.

Maybe print out Matthew 7: 3 to 5 and the passages here and hand him a board with it stapled too it if he gets too proud again.

Answer 11

Questioning God isnt a bad thing, Job did it, David did it, Abraham did it and even Jesus did it. If you are human you have to have questions. How can you possibly find answers if you dont question?

As far as your parents divorcing, I know its hard, I lived through it too. Im all for working at a marriage because it is a vow before God but something, it just cant be. Your friend seems to have a great deal of pride in his "righteousness" and God opposes the the proud and self righteous. He will learn too... dont worry.