my day consist of my kids mothing at me, ignoring every thing i say, crying, and my kids fighting. how do i make more peace in my home? i have trid maythings and nothing works. there is not a day that gose by that i don't brack down & cry b/c of all this. please don'y say i need to spank my kids. it's not like i havn't already. please help b/f i end up in the lonmey bin.
2007-01-23 12:37:39 · 18 answers · asked by rblankenship_rblankenship 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Maybe you should go to the doctor cause it sounds like you are starting to have a nervous breakdown. Until then try creating a set schedule for the children to play games, have lunch, nap time and so on.... But if you don't get help for yourself first, it's only gonna get worse. Honestly I learned alot from watching super nanny and nanny 911. Good Luck!
2007-01-23 12:44:31 · answer #1 · answered by tobeloved64 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hello, you are NOT alone! I have four children. It is so hard because you do the best you know how to as a Mum and sometimes it just doesn't seem to work. You love your kids more than anything in the world but they also drive you crazy. The problem is that there is no "user-manual" for kids and they are all different. What works for one Mum may be completely useless for you. Hopefully, if all us Mum's on Yahoo Answers give you some ideas - some might work for you!!! Here's what I do to make me more sane.
1. Get enough sleep. When I am tired I am SO MUCH easily more emotional. Even if the house is a pig-sty - when the kids are in bed I will often go to bed too. I have to.
2. Regular routine. No excuses for anyone! Always, bed-time at the same time - esp. during school week. Then when they are in bed the house will be quiet - you can actually watch a program you like and just sit for a while.
3. Follow through with what you say. At the store "if you kids keep fighting we'll go home now". Do it. At home "don't talk back to Mommy or you will go to your room for 10 minutes". Do it. then they'll learn you mean what you say.
4. Respect. Don't yell. Don't put them down. Don't call them stupid or idiots or anything mean. Children become what they are told they are. Then if they do "mouth back" at you, you can honestly say "does Mommy talk to you like that? No, well, it is not right"
5. Plan some appropriate punishments for each child. My kids range in age. They are all different and have their own punishments. eg. removal of favourite toy, item, no tv for a week, removal of gameboy/playstation, grounded, no candy or treats.
6. Time out for you. I was going CRAZY because I was only doing everything for my kids and the house - cooking, cleaning, cursing - a constant horrible cycle. I finally arranged for some time for myself - coffee with a friends at Starbucks for 2 hours chat, or a movie with my hubby. How amazing you feel when you are refreshed and can come back to you family knowing you have done something for yourself.
7. Family fun time. I watched Super Nanny and really found it eye opening. She always makes the parents enjoy time with their kids.
Good luck, be assured you have all the people who answered your question thinking of you and understanding your situation. Hope some of our ideas help you.
2007-01-23 13:35:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Spanking or any kind of discipline only works if you are CONSISTENT! If you tell your children something you should mean it the first time. If they continue to do whatever you told them not to there should be a swift and decisive consequence that cannot be mistaken for punishment. This needs to happen every time they misbehave without deviation.
Also, are your kids bored? Do they have structure in their lives? If they are structured and know what is going to happen throughout the day they won't tend to get bored and stray from the plan with misbehavior, crying, fighting, etc.
I could go on and on, but mainly I just think you need to pick a form of punishment, explain to them what that is going to be and starting NOW that is what you do. I will not take any time at all if you are consistent with the punishment and reward system of your choice.
Good luck~!
2007-01-23 12:44:46 · answer #3 · answered by Vicki W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW! It's like I am looking at myself! I am going thru this too. When you feel that you can't take anymore, walk away! Really. That's what I do. My 8 month old cries non stop! She wants held all of the time and I just had my hands operated on so I can't hold her and do the housework at the same time, my 4 and 5 yr old do nothing but fight and are always snitching on each other. When I have had enough, I put one on the love seat, the other on the couch, and the baby in her crib. If the 2 older ones move an inch, then they will turn around and face the wall for even a longer period of time! (if this happens they usually fall asleep) I go into my bedroom and turn on the radio as loud as possible to drown out all 3 and lay down on my bed! A good 10 minutes usually does the job. Of course nothing has changed but at least I won't breakdown or lose my patience with them. It works for me, try it. Really I don't think that there is nothing you can do, it's real life. Anybody that has children goes thru that. You just have to take a little time for yourself before you explode!
2007-01-23 17:23:47 · answer #4 · answered by jaytayk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should try watching the Super Nanny. She shows great ways of getting kids in control without having to spank them. I see nothing wrong with spanking kids if it's done right, but I watch it so I can find other ways of dealing with my kids and hopefully not have to spank them. Sounds like you could use some time to yourself also. If you have someone close that could take the kids for just an afternoon, it might do wonders for you. I know how you feel. I have 3 kids myself......some evenings I feel like ripping my hair out. Good luck hon. I wish you the very best.
2007-01-23 12:48:27 · answer #5 · answered by Crystal 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know what you are going through, I have 3 children as well. All of mine are 5 and younger. Somedays I feel like I am going insane. I made a chore chart to help. Each child has her own. I put things like making their bed, cleaning up toys, helping mommy. I have 5 categories. They get three warning per categories. If they get three warnings, they don't get to put a sticker under that category for the day. They have to get 3 stickers a day. At the end of the week, if they have 21 stickers or more (at least 3 a day), they can pick a treasure from a treasure chest. The little prizes I just get on the party aisle at Walmart. Basically, they feel like they have accomplished something. It makes your workload easier and a little bribery goes a long way. If you need more details, I'll be happy to help, just email me. Also, remember, they're kids, they'll push your limits. Just remember to take 10 deep breaths (sometimes more!), and count to at least 100, or higher! Don't let them see you crack, or they will get the best of you.
2007-01-23 12:48:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Awww...I'm so sad for you! I don't really know what to tell you, because I haven't been in your home and don't know anything about you or your family. But I know you are trying to be a good mom, because you care enough to ask for help!
Do you have someone to help you with your kids? How old are your kids? Do they have problems with discipline in school, or just at home? There are a lot of factors to consider. First of all, try setting up an appointment with your doctor and tell him what's going on. You could be depressed, and that's a tough hole to dig out of without help. Your doctor can also help you check in to getting some family counseling. Your insurance may cover it. If not, go to your library and check out some books on parenting. The library can also help you find information about free parenting classes in your area. And please don't feel like by going to a parenting class or family couseling that means you're failing as a parent. It's just the opposite...it's the parents who are trying hard that are willing to admit that they need help. And we all need help sometimes!
I truly wish I could help you more. You are in my prayers! Good luck!
2007-01-23 12:58:03 · answer #7 · answered by chickaboo72 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Mother of 5 here!! I have my kids all on a schedule..Everyday at the same time their chores are getting done,homework ( which means quiet time ) dinner is family time where we all talk..My kids are 15 13 11 6 and 2I just set the rules and they follow them...or else They know what I say goes and I get nothing less!!
2007-01-23 12:45:43 · answer #8 · answered by jewel64052 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love, Patience, DISCIPLINE!!!!!!!CONSISTENCY!!!! Those last too really go hand in hand. Set clear limits & boudaries & very clear CONSIQUENCES! Get a good book on Discipline for children. PRAY, PRAY & PRAY somemore. You can do it.
I found that once I identified the problems my son was having I could deal much better with him...He's 3 yo. We use time outs & losing video game & TV priveliges...Even if that mean actually removing the TV from the house or room for a while! Good luck...Talk to your other friends & parents too, they may have good advice!
2007-01-23 13:31:01 · answer #9 · answered by Boppysgirl 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Schedule their day. Set a routine so they know what to expect. Plan activities. Involve them in the planning process.
2007-01-23 12:44:14 · answer #10 · answered by Amelia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋