Asking for attention?

Question

When my boyfriend and I hang out together or with a small group of friends, we always have a lovely time. However, when we're at school, I feel neglected. He hardly ever talks to me (even though we sit next to one another in a class) and we've never so much as held hands in school. I want to bring it up to him, but I feel like that would make me come across as an attention-seeking brat of a girlfriend, because most of my guy friends complain when things like that come up. My friends tell me that my situation just isn't normal, though. We see each other in the hallway and don't even stop to say hello, just occasionally wave, and sometimes not even that, and it really bothers me. Is there an acceptable way to bring this up without making the solution feel as crappy as the problem? (I feel like if I mention it, any effort that he makes to fix the issue will just seem fake and meaningless to me, because he's just doing it since I said something, not because he wants to).

Answer 1

I haven't been in school in over 30+ years, but I'll take a shot at answering this for you.

First of all, I'll assume that you're either in high school or early college, from what I can gather from your note.

Ok...

Girls, on average, are more mature emotionally and mentally than a male in their teen's and early 20's. When he is with you, alone, you are more the center of attention. But at school, the tendency is to be more concerned about his "reputation" or the opinions and thoughts of his peers. And that sometimes makes the girl feel like she's nothing more than a convenience. And she certainly has the right to feel that way.

A mature man is going to pay attention to you regardless of your surroundings.

I think this fellas problem has alot to do with maturity, and respect for you. Unfortunately, boys are not plants we can water and make them grow and mature. Nature has to do that on it's own.

My advice to you is this:

1. You can sit him down and tell him how you feel about it and see what kind of reaction you get. If it's positive, then he may show more attentiveness towards you in the future. If he becomes angry with you, then that's going to reveal a whole lot about him and you might want to reconsider your relationship with him for the time being.

OR

2. Let it slide, and let nature take it's course. He may just mature and wise up.

OR

3. Seek someone who is equal or exceeds your maturity. You may have a more fulfilling relationship.

I'm sorry you're going through this. And I wish you the very best.

Answer 2

Something is SERIOUSLY wrong if he doesn't even say hi to you in the hallway. An occasional wave? I would do that for someone I barely knew.

You need to talk to him about how you are feeling -- and this does NOT make you an attention-seeking brat.

You know what you want, so tell him what you need from him. If he's not willing to treat you with some more respect, he's not for you.

Answer 3

Just bring it up to him. If something is bothering you, and you are not happy, the best way is just to talk about it. He may not even realize there is a problem if nothing is said. It takes two people to be in a relationship. The both of you should be happy. Ask him why he isn't as attentive to you these days, and just talk. He wouldn't be a good boyfriend if he didn't listen. Good luck.

Answer 4

Maybe hi is embarresed in a good way or is just shy. try asking him