Hi everyone, I just moved to San Fran and found a great nanny job through an agency. It pays really well and the scheduling is perfect with my school schedule. Anyways, There are four children total (school aged). and the Mom is a stay-at-home mom. I have been a nanny before but always when the parents were at work or home for maybe half the day... Has anyone had experience with being a nanny and having the parent be at home the whole time? Is it weird? Was your experience good or bad? I don't have anything to hide but Im just curious about people's experiences.
2007-01-23 12:25:54 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I also was a nanny for a primarily SAHM - also in the Bay Area. She worked maybe 2 days or so every few months leading team building exercises for businesses. She had two girls and was home a lot of the time, which was strange and often difficult because the oldest girl (2 years when I started) was going through a "difficult" phase and resented the loss of her previous nanny who had been with her since birth. The little girl often cried when I arrived and began hitting me & mom once in in a while. I had to start time-outs which only made her resent me more!
Anyway, the family moved a few months after I started and the new house was a separated ranch house with a pool. Mom tended to stay on one side of the house which had her bedroom and exercise room. She also began going out on more excursions and as soon as the weather was warm enough, the little girl and I could start using the pool, which gave us a much needed distraction. She still sometimes cried at the baby gate mom put up to keep her from going to the other side of the house, but eventually we got into a routine and she began preschool and afternoon dance and gymnastics classes which all helped keep us busy and not thinking about how much she missed mom.
I ended up really loving the family and adored the baby girl that was born during my time with the family. I was VERY close to her. I became good friends with mom and she was very supportive of my rules and "say-so" while I was there. She always made sure the little girl listened and obeyed. I always felt sorry for the girls though, because they really did just want their mommy and it was hard to explain why they couldn't just go over to the other side of the house and see her. The oldest usually blamed me on some level, but even that considered, we spent so much time together that eventually she accepted me and was mostly pleasant to be around.
2007-01-23 17:43:35 · answer #1 · answered by C.D.N. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand that many would view this as lazy, or "showy". It really depends on the situation. Generally speaking, unless you are working from home, or you are handicapped or have 10 kids, hiring a nanny when you are a stay-at-home mom is not only pointless, it is irresponsible. What on earth would a mother be staying home to do, if not work or raise kids? Single people don't even stay home all day without working, unless thay are on the lower rungs of society. A nanny is there to take care of the kids, for what? So mommy can spend quality time doing something at home, that has absolutely nothing to do with the kids? Maybe hiring a maid is a better choice. Housework takes a lot of time away from being with the kids. I believe maids are cheaper. It is not the same thing. A maid helps clean, so you can spend more quality time with the kids. But even a maid is not 100% ok. It sends the message to the kids that mommy has all the time in the world, and someone else is always going to clean up. Making a kid wait and showing them the work that needs to be done around the house, and showing them when a big mess is made it means playtime is shortened, teach lessons in responsibility and patience. These are situations not as common when a maid is present.
2016-05-24 02:29:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi. I have four children and would LOVE a nanny to help me out! There never seems enough time to do everything and I hate always asking my 11 year old to watch the baby while I run out and hang the washing on the line etc.
I worked as a nanny when I was 21 for an American couple. They had two children. I was a "live-in" Au Pair (a nanny that also does the cleaning and cooking). He was a minister and worked from home and she did the women's counselling side of things - so she was home too. I would sit with her once a week and plan the menu for the week. I'd take the kiddies to the market and buy the shopping, clean the house, play with the kids, organise their clothing and amusements and cook the meals. Thus allowing her to concentrate on her people she was helping. I loved it. They were a great family and she and I became really close friends. She had grown up very wealthy in Jamaica and had always had servants and had no idea how to even wash a dish. She was very appreciative and really sweet. It was important though that we sat down at the beginning of the time I started working there and talked about my role and hers, and each week we would spend a couple of hours when the kids were sleeping to organise menus and discuss any problems or ideas. They lived near Bondi beach and I would take the kids to the beach or to the zoo. She was very flexible and relaxed and that made it easy.
Enjoy yourself - you can make it great!
2007-01-23 13:01:59 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was a part-time live-in nanny for a stay at home mom a long time ago. She had 4 kids, ages 10, 8, 2 and 6 months. It was a little weird at first, but we all got used to it. I think the mom just wanted some company. My experience was mostly good. The only bad part was when I didn't agree with somethings the mom did. It was really hard to keep my mouth shut.
Overall, we worked as a team. She had her part and I had mine. Like getting the kids fed and off to school, I would walk the older kids to school while she fed and dressed the younger ones. At dinner, she would cook and I would play with the younger ones. For homework, she would help one and I would help the other. If she had to go out, I would stay with the kids or take them to the park.
2007-01-23 12:46:36 · answer #4 · answered by sammie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This sounds very odd to me. Why would anyone need a nanny if they are home with their children? Unless she is active in the community and does some volunteer work...I suppose that is a possibility.
When I was younger I did work for a woman who would have me come over and watch the kids while she cleaned her home. Or she'd hire me to go shopping with her so I could watch the kids while she shopped. Sometimes she needed to have the kid there (like for clothes shopping) but didn't want to be the one watching them. She was a really nice woman but had no idea how to be a parent or how to juggle responsibility.
As for this woman needing a companion...that sounds even more odd. She needs a friend so she hires one? Get out and meet people. Join a community organization. I'm a mother of three and I'm very active in my community. I've done community theatre and I do volunteer work. I have all kinds of hobbies and I find time for each one of them even though I stay at home and we home school.
The only way a stay at home mom becomes isolated is because she does it to herself. There are always options.
2007-01-23 12:40:50 · answer #5 · answered by Amelia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I have not been a nanny for a mom who lives at home, but . . . I have been an at-home mother and have numerous times wished for a nanny or anybody to help, listen, or just agree wiht whatever I may be feeling from time to time as the stress tightens to the point where I think I am going to choke.
Did you ever think that besides wanting and needing a nanny for her children that she is also looking for a companion or friend, or just to have someone in the house who can listen to an adult with an adult ear and give some adult feedback.
Good luck!
2007-01-23 12:35:52 · answer #6 · answered by Vicki W 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I agree with the woman who said she wished she could have a companion come over and help. I mean what friend is going to come over and talk to you and help you clean house, cook dinner, or take care of the kids. My single friends would laugh at me.... I mean that is a great idea to have a nanny that is there to help you when you need it. I just moved to germany b/c my husband got stationed here... i have friends and know alot of ppl, but do i have them come over and help me with my house.. no.. some mothers can't handle all of it.. my son is 18 months and a true terror... i can't cook dinner without wondering what he is doing... i try to get him interested in helping me with little stuff so i can accomplish that one meal and that is a no go... then i have to chase him around the house and find out what he is doing and I alway burn whatever I am cooking.. and cleaning.. omg.. i start cleaning and my son goes nuts and everything i just put away or am in the process of putting away it ends back in the place it was in like 2.5 seconds... so cleaning is a no go... shopping is great.. but i'm 26 weeks prego.. my son hates sitting in the cart and loves to run around.. ha ha ha ha... can you imagine a pregnant mother running after her son at the grocery store.. if you are ever in the neighbor hood and need a laugh.. i'm there for ya... my son is hyper.. and i love it.. i wouldn't change it for the world... it exhausts me though and most things that need to get done don't until he goes to bed... and right now i can't even take him outside to play at the park or anything b/c for the past 2 months it has been nothing but rainy and windy... so that sucks... and i mean it rains everyday...in the morning or night or mid day... i hardly see the sun its horrible.. so yes if i had the income to hire a nanny to come and help me out so i can kick back and just relax and have a good meal and to have a clean house for once i would definitely do it.. i am pretty sure she hired you to probably help clean and cook... or maybe she just wants to you watch the kids while she does it... but i wouldn't think its weird... i would think she just needs help and to go for it... atleast you know what she wants and when a child acts up you can get advice on what she wants done instead of winging it...
2007-01-23 12:52:42 · answer #7 · answered by sleepyincarolina 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been a nanny before but not for a stay at home mom. I think it is weird and would not be comfortable with it. Why can't she just take care of her children if she is home. I would find it hard to disapline and take charge. I would also feel "watched over" . Personally I wouldn't want to go there.
good luck with your decision.
2007-01-23 12:34:46 · answer #8 · answered by Crystal 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
No offense to anyone but that sounds like a mother who didn't really want to have children or has way too much money to waste.. I have never been in that situation but that does sound really weird
2007-01-23 12:30:50 · answer #9 · answered by mdoud01 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋