Ok, long story short. My ex-best friend was the maid of honor at my wedding. We are no longer friends. Well her whole family came to the wedding pretty much. Mom, grandma, 2 brothers and one sister (who was also in my wedding party). I also rent from her mom. She lives down stairs with her mom along with her brother and his wife (they are all adults). I want to send thank you's out to everyone. I will to her brother that lives on his own, grandma and her sister who lives on her own. The problem is the ones downstairs. The only one that I feel doesn't deserve a thank you is my ex-friend, and believe me she really really doesn't. But I don't want it to be shoved in her face. What would you do, just send out the thank you's anyway and forget how it may make her feel or ignore the whole family all together?
And her mom and grandma could care less about the whole situation, honestly. I've spoken to them since then.
2007-01-23 11:26:16 · 8 answers · asked by FaerieWhings 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
She didn't give me a gift. Gave me a hard time about $50 a person for the bachelorette party, refused to go dress shopping with me, wouldn't help me with a single thing.
2007-01-23 11:31:59 · update #1
It's not a question of sending her a card. I AM NOT SENDING HER A THANK YOU! She doesn't deserve it at all. I was shown more consideration from a man that I never met (getting a dinner at a very posh restaurant during my honeymoon because my brother in laws mother works for him and he owns the place) then I got from my MOH. He will get a thank you card.
2007-01-23 11:38:49 · update #2
Ok, $50 is not a lot for a bachelorette party. I just had to turn down going to one because it was $250 and that didn't include drinks. That is the going rate. But the point is I AM NOT SENDING HER A CARD. If you are having a hard time with that please don't answer. I am just curious how you would handle sending thank you's to the other people in the house.
2007-01-23 11:49:39 · update #3
It wasn't about us having different ideas of what a MOH should do, she knew what was her responsibilities, it was that she didn't feel the need to do anything with me. And I'm not talking about going out of her way and doing things out of the ordinary. I'm talking about looking for a wedding dress. She didn't go with me once and with 3 weeks notice, it still wasn't enough time for her to clear her 'schedule' when she wasn't working anyway (totally her fault that she was jobless). And the thing that bothered me about the Bach. Party was that she had plenty of money to go on vaca 3 times the summer before, spending at least 2000 during that time. She was the worst MOH, my son was more supportive then she was, and it wasn't his role. He was my rock during that time. And that was just a little bit of the issues I had with her from the moment I got engaged. So, no. She does NOT deserve a thank you.
2007-01-24 02:18:17 · update #4
Send the cards to the other members of her family that you mentioned. Whatever it is between you and her, her family does deserve a thank you for the gifts. So what if she sees the card for her Mom? I'm sure the family will appreciate the thank you, even if they don't necessarily show it. It's the right thing to do.
2007-01-23 11:58:10 · answer #1 · answered by MelB 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You only thank people for giving a gift. As you indicated that she did not give you a gift, she is not entitled to a thank you card. That being said, if her family all bought you seperate gifts then they should all get seperate thank you cards, but if there is a possibility that they all went in on a gift together (possibly including your prior maid of honor) then one card addressed to the entire family would be sufficient.
You might also consider sending her a thank-you card for attending the wedding if you are uncomfortable not sending her something but it sounds like you don't care too muh as the relationship is more than just strained.
If I were in your shoes, I would just send a general card to all thanking them for coming to your special day and then adding a few lines about how helpful their gifts were and how they were helpful to you (ie. if you got cash, what you bought; if it was a item, how much you love using it). Keep the peace!
2007-01-23 19:37:15 · answer #2 · answered by Summer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just thank you for standing up for you at the wedding and being her Maid of Honor. No matter how well or how poorly she handled her "job" she did do it.
She did buy a dress, she did pay the$50 for a bachlorette party (which I may have complained about too by the way).
Perhaps your expectations of her responsiblities and her vision were different? If you were so bitter about things, why did she still stand up for you. The bottom line is...she did. Even a bad employee gets their final paycheck when fired.
Send each adult or couple (i.e. everyone downstairs gets their own card) thanking them for what they should be thanked for. Just send her a card thanking her for attending and being your maid of honor. That's it.
Worry about "doing right" not about "being right" You'll feel better about yourself.
2007-01-23 19:46:12 · answer #3 · answered by apbanpos 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Send her the thank you. It doesn't have to be personal. Bringing her family in on the situation was pointless. If you're gonna cut her out of your life don't hold the bitterness - just let it go. I'm not saying be friends, you probably have good reason for not being - but you've fixed that problem so send her the thank you and wish her good luck in her life and move on.
2007-01-23 19:36:43 · answer #4 · answered by Lex 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thank you cards are sent to anyone who gave you a gift and thats pretty much it!! If you didn't get the wedding partys any gifts than you should send a Thank you note to everyone in your Wedding Party thanking them for there support!
2007-01-23 19:32:36 · answer #5 · answered by sexychocolatecity21 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she was maid of honor at the time of your wedding and gave you a gift, and was all right then, definitely it would not hurt to send a Thank You note.
Go for it, and let bygones be bygones.
2007-01-23 19:30:29 · answer #6 · answered by Born Valentine's Day 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to send one to everybody. If you are that dead-set on not giving her one then don't, but just because her brother lives w/her doesn't mean you shouldn't send one to him because it would be rude to her.
2007-01-23 19:30:31 · answer #7 · answered by mandapandaz80 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
say thank you anyway she will start to wonder what she did to deserve the thank you and then maybe it will finally sink in.
In other words be the bigger person!
2007-01-23 19:35:24 · answer #8 · answered by Catherine A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋