Am a guy(23) & I have known this girl(22) who just arrived in the hood abroad 3 months now. I kind of like her but she is so complicated. We spend so much talking & she had previously disclosed to me that she has a boyfriend(26) who she loves so dearly. She believes that the only way of 'making it with him' is to encourage him to have mult-sexual-partiners because she will be away from him for 5 years. He does not have to be settled with any girl, so it is better if he wonders about with so many, not committing to any girl, is how she wants it to be. The poor boy-friend agreed. She told me, it also applies to her, she can have sex with guys in the hood, a serious relationship is not important. I really like this girl & I feel that she is wrong. I do not know what to do because if I have sex with her, that will be the end & she will move to the next guy just like that, On the other hand if I have to keep her I have to help her reconsider the decisions she made with her boy-friend. Help
2007-01-23 11:11:51 · 11 answers · asked by Reuben 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think I would start looking (possibly in other hoods) for a different girl. I know you are attracted to this one but is sounds like here values are a little screwed up. I believe it would be trouble for you in the long run.
You are still young TAKE YOUR TIME looking. It sounds like you want a strong lasting relationship so don’t play games. Find someone who is a great match for YOU!
2007-01-23 11:19:43 · answer #1 · answered by Ralph 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it's not good to be messing with a girl with a bf. but, if u like her and want to try and build something. then just listen to her, ask her "do u really want a bf that u will see maybe once a year and is dating other women in another city?" if she says she's ok with that(which sounds like she is,but maybe this will trigger her to really think of it) then u don't want to be around her too closely.because then u will fall for her deeper and she won't stop talking to her bf. then again if u are patient she could ultimately forget her bf and lean towards u.either way just get her to think. ask her questions that will linger in her thoughts and will make her think about her situation and her true feelings.
2007-01-23 11:24:44 · answer #2 · answered by gracy808 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm...first of all, you "kind" of like her? Sounds like too much effort over someone you kind of like. If you really like her, you need to make her fall in love with you and forget her boyfriend. Postpone the sex if you can, and instead take her out and treat her the way she likes to be treated. When the time is right, talk to her and explain that you like her and you're not interested in just a one-night stand (don't do this too quick, she has to start falling in love with you first, otherwise it will be outright rejection because of her existing boyfriend). If that approach fails, it likely means she's not interested in you much and therefore a waste of time to keep pursuing her.
2007-01-23 11:22:44 · answer #3 · answered by the_Czech 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This seems complicated but I think it is simple. Ask yourself this: if she feels that she can have multiple partners with the other boyfriend, why would she treat you any different? Also, what would you sincerely want in a relationship with her? It's a question of what you want, and what she is going to do. That is all.
2007-01-23 11:21:58 · answer #4 · answered by hrld_sleeper 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Uh...if you have sex with her RIGHT, she's not goin on to any next guy...and 5 years down the line you think she'll just drop you for him? If she's gonna have sex with others, she's not in love. Let nature take its course n go after what you really want. DO NOT be the friend on the side or her personal cheerleader. Be a man, go for it, n let her know how you feel...
2007-01-23 11:19:26 · answer #5 · answered by Soldier 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
hang out....alone....start taking her out...try to show her that if she wants an open relationship maybe she isnt commited...if you just be yourself she will hopefully like you. Once you get to the point where shes seeming to consider an actual relationship hav a serious convo about wether she really wants to keep this other guy or not...make sure she knows you respect her decision but you like her alot. Good luck!
2007-01-23 11:17:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
i think of formerly you ask her out, you ought to check along with her concerning the form you experience. if she has a similar thoughts for you, then you definitely ought to take the subsequent step on asking her out. asking her out straight away forward might reason her to get frightened, and forced. from my own adventure, long distance on no account worked, yet once you have a solid feeling for her i could say choose for it. if she is extremely worth it...purely make beneficial her boyfriend does not kill you. i desire you the better of success.
2016-11-01 02:57:02 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would avoid, it looks like HIV/AIDS or some even nastier STD like HPV will come 'knocking at the door'
2007-01-23 11:16:57 · answer #8 · answered by fizz 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
reconsider finding a new girlfriend. she is a player and a slu*
2007-01-23 11:16:49 · answer #9 · answered by StarShine G 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is all way too messy if you ask me.
2007-01-23 11:17:14 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋