i am a person who knows that she is submissive, but i am in love with someone who is not into that. He is a Vanilla man, and i am His submissive woman. Wondering if we could ever be happy together long term.
2007-01-23 10:51:20 · 10 answers · asked by bratty_chic_74 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
So you want to go from being a dominant to a submissive. YOu want to go from pitching to catching, so to speak.
In other words, you want to be woman.
Congratulations!!
Yes, you can be happy together.
2007-01-23 10:59:08 · answer #1 · answered by summit_of_human_intellect 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first thing that you need to do is talk to him about it. It's possible that he's vanilla simply because he's never experienced the lifestyle before. After you've exposed him to it, he might take interest and become the Dominant male that you want.
However, it is also possible that his vanilla-ness comes from personal hang-ups over "non-normal" sexuality. If this proves to be the case, perhaps from a strict religious upbringing, then he'll never prove to be the person that you need as a partner.
In other words, you have to determine if he simply doesn't enjoy such activities, or if he specifically has a distaste for such things. If it's the latter, then he might take offense to you approaching him for it, and even think less of you as a person because of it. If you look at similar questions and answers, you'll see that there is a lot of misunderstanding and ill will towards people in BDSM lifestyles. A lot of people feel that if you do something outside of the bedroom, or do something that isn't inherently sexual to you, then it's wrong or abusive. If you had phrased your question to ask if your lover should spank you for staying up late at night, you'd have been blasted with comments of you having the mentality if a child and that it would be abusive. Check to make sure that your man has an open mind before putting too much on the line, like your emotions.
In answer to the person that asked what "vanilla" is, it's a term used to describe people that don't share a person's kink. It's most often used in BDSM-related lifestyles to refer to people that don't partake in BDSM.
2007-01-23 23:03:58 · answer #2 · answered by baka_otaku30 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Only time will tell, honestly. If it's something very important to you, it's something that MUST be discussed - preferably in a low pressure time and place.
It's possible you can open up this world to him a bit and draw him into the Lifestyle. It's possible your needs and desires will change over time.
If there's a local organization in your area, consider attending one of their meetings or munches and chat about it with folks who've lived in the Lifestyle for a longer period of time and have some experiences with this issue.
2007-01-23 18:59:32 · answer #3 · answered by zoni_tonya 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Isn't his Vanilla self very parallel to your submissive nature anyway? See how it goes and make a decision once you see what happens.
2007-01-23 18:59:23 · answer #4 · answered by Dr. Kat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok I'm telling my age, but can you explain to me what a 'vanilla' man is? Does that mean he's a white guy?
2007-01-23 18:58:35 · answer #5 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it all depends on him. Because if he's not into it, he mioght not get into it neither. But you might be able to convert over and he will enjoy himself. SO give it a try if not hey IM me anytime.
2007-01-23 18:56:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes you can
2007-01-23 18:55:03 · answer #7 · answered by mue 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go for it!!
2007-01-23 18:56:27 · answer #8 · answered by daddy f 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sure.
2007-01-23 18:55:55 · answer #9 · answered by Ben 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what?
2007-01-23 18:54:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋