My nine year old niece stole $900.00 out of her moms purse.?

Question

She then took it to school with her and handed out $50.00 bills to her closet friends. The rest she place in a neat pile in her locker. Her Dad caught her, and she did not seem to be too remorseful. She has been raised in a very loving home and goes to church with the rest of the family. She is the second of four children and is always kind and loving to her siblings. This is not the first time she has been caught stealing from family members. How should one handle this child?

The reason her mom had the money was she had gone to the bank machine, and had taken out a large number of cash for travel purposes. An unusual situation for sure.
AND.... NO she is not a hooker!!!
I repeat this child comes from avery good family and is very loved. Their seems to be no logical reason why she would do this.

Her dad recovered all the money almost immediately as he showed up at the school and confronted her when he could not find the money at home. Her friends returned all the money willingly.

Answer 1

What a horrible thing to have happened. Children should know that stealing is wrong but a 9 year old has no idea how much 900.00 dollars is. Since this wasn't the first time for her stealing I would suggest putting her in a couple of juvenile classes. That should scare her a little. I agree with the first person make her work it off dollar for dollar.

Answer 2

This sounds kind of cheesy, but for a child her age it could work. Maybe have her father take her to a police station and make her tell an officer what she did (the father could talk to the cop briefly beforehand, to explain the situation). I'm sure the officer would be willing to talk to the girl and explain how serious this is, that it is actually a crime and what can happen to someone who does things like this. He obviously won't really arrest her or anything, but sometimes things like this could scare her straight. Kind of like how when a kid steals a candy bar or something you take them to the store and make them confess to the manager. The manager's not gonna press charges on a little kid, but the admission of it and the guilt they feel helps teach them it's wrong.

It sounds like she doesn't really think it's a big deal, so showing her how people get arrested for things like this, taking her to a police station, making her tell an officer what she did--this could help her see that her actions were wrong and teach her that she should never do it again.

Answer 3

Her dad needs to flash back to the 50s and give her one of those old fashion pants down spankings. It makes no difference weather or not he got the money back, now it's teaching time. He must create a consequence big enough so that she will never even think of doing something like this again. That's where spanking comes in. If she were mine, her bare tushie would spend so much time over my lap, it would be glowing in the dark for the rest of the night. Or he can just let her slide with a talk, and time out, Ya that's going to work, NOTTTT. His job is to make sure this never happens again.

Answer 4

This sounds like something that my son would do. Now, personally I don't have quite that much money on hand, but even $50 is a lot of money to a 9 yr old (unless they want you to buy them something that's $50 then it's nothing). All my 9 yr old talks about is I Pods and MP3 players and Cell Phones and so and so has XX amount of $$.. it's such a materialistic age! I have no clue what do other than punish her and explain to her what would be lost if the money couldn't be retrieved... ie no vacation, couldn't buy food, etc.

Answer 5

First of all why does the mom have that kind of cash in her purse? Then after that I would look at a few things. First why does she feel the need to pay her friends?

Next I would work out jobs she has to do to pay the money back in addition to regular chores. And until the money is fully paid back I would go to her room and take $900 in collateral. When the total amount is paid back she can have her collateral back. I mean if you take a house loan out and pay all but the last $1000 and then default, they will still take the whole house. Let her see what that amount of money means.

I think that in so many homes, money is given or with held with little rhyme or reason so kids begin to feel like they are owed a certain amount or like they are equals in the family so any money in the home is available to them equally. She needs to have an allowance and her parents need to teach her how to be responsible with it. We pay my son who is 8 about $10 if his chores are done, and it is understood, 10% goes to church, 45% to savings for larger items or spending money on vacation, and 45% is to spend now. I am the authority who says when and how much can be pulled out of savings. If there is something he wants (for example his stereo broke or he wanted a bigger bike) and he does not want to wait until birthday or Christmas I will ususally make him save 1/2 out of the money he gets to keeo every week and then take the other 1/2 from savings. It cuts down on impulse purchases.

When going clothes shopping give her a budget and have her choose what she will get for her money. Have her realize the value of a dollar.

Another thing we are doing with my son is sitting him down and having him see how much money comes in and where it goes in our household. At this point we don't talk about the money that is automatically sent to retirement funds and things we only talk about the money that comes into the house for bills and things. I would do this with her as well. $900 is almost a house payment, or a car payment. It would pay a lot of bills or help give the entire family a vacation. It is not just for one person.

Hope some of this helps.

Answer 6

Nobody should keep that much money in their purse or wallet....you never know what could happen to it. I would say....maybe you can contact the other kids parents and try to get the money back. She needs to be taught that this is bad behaviour. I would ground her and try to make her work around the house or do the lawn for cash. She needs to learn this early, otherwise she will grow up to steal from other people, stores etc. You dont want to raise a bad kid. Its the job of the parents to set examples.

Answer 7

Writing an essay on why theft is wrong and what happens in the real scheme of life to people when some one is robbed. Three paragraphs the opening explaining what he did, why he did and why it seemed easier than asking the middle telling the whole of the story and what happens to people in society if they are caught, how he would feel if it happened to him and what he would want done if some one took all of his money or your car or home and the ending wrapping it up and explaining how he has learned that it is wrong and will never do it again.

Answer 8

I know that I will **** off alot of people by my response but life goes on. I have a son that is 8 years old and he took $20.00 off of my kitchen counter. He went to school with intentions to buy his friends ice cream. The teacher called me and ask me if I gave it to him. I was angry with him for taking the money because I do not raise my children to steal but I also took into consideration that he is a child that wanted to empress his friends. I did punish him for this. I think that this may be an underlined problem since it has happen before that she is wanting attention. Good luck!

Answer 9

It sounds like she is acting out and they maybe need to bring in a counselor so she can talk out her actions. My daughter who is 8 saw a child counselor for her anxieties, and after 4-6 sessions, they brought us in too and I found out that with me having a new baby, she really was feeling left out and scared. The counselor helped us choose activities we could do just us that wouldn't interfere with the baby's schedule. It was a dramatic change and she is doing so great now. Suggest that.

Answer 10

Call the other kids parents and get the money back. I do not know one parent that would not understand - and handle the situation. Anything that is missing, she must pay back. I agree with WHY in the world was their $900 in her purse - good God, anything could have happened to it. Then I would get her into intense therapy!! There are lots of good psychologists -- find one, ask you doctor.