I have a good friend who is about 100 pounds overweight. It gradually came on over the years. She is single, attractive (at least I think), and is constantly asking me and my other friends why men aren't interested in her. I am getting sick of hearing this question over and over again. Should I just tell her she needs to loose weight? Or, will I loose a friend? She thinks she is only 10 pounds overweight, but it is more like 100! If I am her friend and even I get grossed out looking at her, how can men be interested? I just want her to be happy and she seems miserable that no one wants to date her. When we go out, she is practically all over the men and they want nothing to do with her It's so pathetic. I know it's not her personality, she is a great person - fun, energetic, smart, and caring. How can I point out the weight issue without her hating me??? Help!
2007-01-23 09:54:33 · 13 answers · asked by brit_is_curious 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I don't think there is no good way...you can just say for your own health reasons you really should be concerned about watching you weight....maybe saying it this way she wont take it so personally.
2007-01-23 09:59:09 · answer #1 · answered by oxygenO 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, you don't need to tell her. She knows that her jeans don't fit any more. She may tell you it's only 10 pounds, but if she's put on 100 pounds she's definitely not just gone up a size or two.
The best thing you can do is to do things with her that don't involve food or sitting around. Get her to be active with you, tell her you need a work out partner, tell her you want the two of you to join a cycle club or do a marathon...and when you eat out, make it healthy because YOU are getting in shape for the marathon or the cycle trip.
2007-01-23 10:00:29 · answer #2 · answered by Kaia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just say: "Jane," as a friend, I feel that it is my responsibility to help you, and be honest with you. I know this may sound offensive, but I don't mean it like that. I believe that you can be so much more beautiful than you already are, if you lost a little weight. But physical beauty isn't all that matters. It will help you emotionally and decrease risk of serious medical problems. And it will not be easy, cause let's face it, nothing ever is, but I will be by your side, working out and dieting right with you. I know you can do this, and hey, wait till you see how much fish you can catch with that soon to be, amazing body of yours. Now lets go get fit!!!
2007-01-23 10:05:38 · answer #3 · answered by Steve 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No woman wants to hear she is fat. I'm sure she is aware of her size without you telling her. I think as a friend you should suggest work out dates for you two. There's other things you can do besides telling her she's fat. Instead tell her she's beautiful and has a wonderful personality. Reassure her and let her know true love will eventually find her. You should build her self esteem....I'm afraid if you tell her anything else. Could cost you your friendship and a very depressed friend.
Good Luck
& remember to try to be sensitive
2007-01-23 10:12:53 · answer #4 · answered by S~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her how much you care about her. Explain to her that you want to be friends for a long time.
You want her to be around but her time will be cut from your life if she does not do something about her weight.
Offer to go on a workout program with her to keep her motivated.
2007-01-23 10:01:22 · answer #5 · answered by khanofali 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A casual way to do it is, once bikkini season is in tell her your going to the gym to work on your figure and ask her to come along. Say it cheerfully like you guys are going to the mall, then she will see you want to hang and get in shape. After the gym offer to go for health smoothies or something. Let her know you want to be in shape too.
2007-01-23 09:59:49 · answer #6 · answered by cleo 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just be honest, tell her she needs to loose some weight for healthy reasons... and also show her support by working out with her.
2007-01-23 10:02:40 · answer #7 · answered by Marquel 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you could try the route of caring about her health in general. Being overweight puts a strain on your organs etc. Maybe try to encourage her to start exercising with you and schedule time with a dietician to help her with what she eats.
2007-01-23 10:27:30 · answer #8 · answered by Thunderman9 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest with her... Although, I would leave out that you "get grossed out looking at her." Maybe you can offer to start walking with her or going to the gym.
2007-01-23 10:00:04 · answer #9 · answered by Abby_Normal 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You dont have to tell her,.. she knows she is fat.
Bless you but theres nothing you can do about it unless she asks you to help her loose it.
2007-01-23 10:00:23 · answer #10 · answered by a Friend 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋