Self Harming.?

Question

Ok, So i have been extremely depressed lately. And i just feel like i need support. I cant see a future for myself and i know that im not going far. I dont know what im pacifically depressed about but its getting worse. For about 2-3 months now i have started to self harm. And i think its time i start to realise it. I am punching myself in my head. Hitting things over my head, smashing my fists into glass, scratching myself, and to be honest.. I feel like a freak. I cant control it when it happens im full of anger, desperation and torment. And self harming seems like the only way to rid of it. Only i feel worse after it, expecially tonight when i cut my head open. I find my self like this in arguments with my boyfriend, or when im stressed or upset.. I dont know what to do. I feel like a freak, i feel helpless and like no one understands me. I feel stupid for admitting that i hurt my self. I just dont know what to do with my self any more.

Oh, and no one apart from my boyfriend knows how depressed i am. Not even my family. Because most of the time im happy, but i can flip out to sadness and anger pretty quicky..

Answer 1

Don't feel stupid. You may be clinically depressed or be bi-polar. You can feel happy at times even when you are suffering from depression. I would tell your family. They love you and want what's best for you. You shouldn't have to live this way love. Deep down I think you know what you should do.

Answer 2

First of all, don;t feel stupid. there are so many people also in your position and it is a very good thing that you are trying to get help. Secondly, you need to stop. this is the response that all decent people will give, and it is true. I know, from experience, that self-injury is an addictive practice that only escalates in severity and regularity. Stop now while you can because like you said you'll only feel worse in the end. this won't be any less true in the future. It is only a temporary and momentary escape from the harsh truths of real life. This is what i suggest you do. Every time you want to punch something or scratch yourself, realize why. Once you know why you can act on it. I realize it may not be once specific thing or emotion that sets you off but at least you can recognize the type of thing that causes this. Then you need to replace it with something healthier. Any other healthy way to vent. Art, sports, writing, making models, anything to occupy your hands and keep your mind off of self-injury. I understand that your situation is compromising but a therapist or talk with a doctor is recommended. they can usually help. Finally, know that there are people who care for you, so talk to them if you can. you said that only your boyfriend knows but there is no use being noble and self-sacrificing if it only rips you to shreds. I'm glad your talking and i hope you succeed. Email me if you want someone else to talk to that isn't as personal as friends or family. I will understand what you have to say as i have been through exactly the same experience.

Answer 3

i self harm in a different way and only my boyfriend knows too. okay...i've done it for about a year and a half now and recently we almost broke up over it. i have tried amny different things to stop but they haven't worked out vey well for me. i'll tell you and maybe you'll have more luck. umm...first i tried writing to him when i felt that way. i'd pretty much vent to him in a note instead of taking it out on myself. then i tried just ignoring everything that makes me feel that way. i tried going for walks, listening to music and writing poetry. there are a few more was, but i can't think of them now, if i do, i'll write you some more. good luck and i hope that you can beat it. i hope i've helped even a little bit. even if it's just for tonight. next time try and think that okay, whatever it's not that big of a deal, even if it is. try and think straight, believe me i know it's hard to do. but the longer you do it, the longer it takes to get off it. for me, it's become like an addiction, so be careful and try to stop. if things worsen, try talking to someone else and see if you can go to a therapist or something like that. i wish you good luck and hope that you can beat it quickly. don't linger with it. i hope i helped....

Answer 4

You are not a freak, many people self harm. I would hope that your boyfriend and you get some help. It is dangerous to self harm and you never know when you could go too far. Please seek help and get help to find other ways of dealing with your depression.

Answer 5

hey i went though the same thing! you do need to get some help! i dont know where you live but theres places that will help you for free! check it to it! i havent hurt my self for 3months! it really worth it! i spent 5 day in a hospital and that helped also! so hope this helps